Diamond Rexx - Land Of The Damned (1987)

Another of those forgotten glam sleaze acts who had an incredible edge with those weird vocals and fuzzy kinda basement riffs. Sure, there's lipstick, leather and hairspray but the real glam rock knows how to headbang whilst being dressed up in sickly sweet perfume and bloodied rags. Diamond Rexx play the sort of sonic sleaze that Celtic Frost boldly attempted on the twisted 'Cold Lake' record, the anthemic and sickly 'I Wish I Was Rich' belted out over a black riff, clattering drum and OTT vocal. Sneering and spiteful at times, but too obscure and scum-ridden to break it big. Album cover probably didn't help either!

6.5/10

Witch - Damnation (2008)

The wonderfully named Witch were a riff heavy '80s sleaze band clad in leather - albeit torn leather - who hardly released a thing and so 'Damnation' belatedly puts together their 'The Hex Is On' EP and a few other choice, rare cuts to make a 20 track compilation that's certainly worth checking out. Goodness how many similar cool bands were overlooked in the '80s whilst lesser talented and certainly more polished and lightweight 'brands' made a headway. I like the obscure nature of Witch, particularly Allen's gargoyle vocals and those fuzzy, dense riffs which give a sinister edge to the sleaze. Some cool tunes on offer from 'Cinderella (In Black Leather)', 'Wet n Wild', to 'Bewitched' and the clanking, Motorhead glam rock puke of 'Blond Alert'. Certainly the sort of band who woulda been quite happy to have smeared lipstick, powder, paint, blood, vomit and shit on the mirror for added effect. All hail the forgotten bands of sickly glam.

7/10

Ignitor - The Spider Queen (2009)

Mmmm, so, Erika, the queen of vocal pipes flees the nest and now ex-watchtower and metal journeyman Jason McMaster is at the helm - maybe it's Ignitor's way of showing they mean business. Somehow this doesn't seem as effective as the 'Road...' record, but it's still powerhouse metal, this time more inspired by Dio and the runic mayhem of Skyclad. All very mystical and musically sharp, eager to thrash at times, the band clearly experienced at this sort of thing, so the fires are raging hard, but I can't get Dio's wolfen glare out of my head. Something incredibly nostalgic about Ignitor but I can't see it lasting, my lack of faith simply based on the fact that McMaster doesn't seem to stay anywhere for too long but we'll have to wait and see...but I'm more interested in what Erika is doing but it wouldn't surprise me if she's off crooning on some Nordic cruise ship! No prizes for the terrible album cover...nice bum though!

7/10

Agony Column - Way Back In The Woods (1995)

And so it came to be, like some sprawling yet unseen backwoods terror Agony Column's final record of an absorbing trio ascends from the oily black sky, coats the landscape in fetid filth and is never seen again. This time however, the travelling circus has mellowed - still of course finding time to infect the skin with their brand of deathly rock, but also leaning towards a somehow more sinister yet more laid back country twang. The black humour drenches the record as the twisted hillbilly jog of 'Small Black Toad' bewitches the wife, and 'Flying Sorceress' drenches the bath mat with its grunge infested doom. A few of the tracks are quite welcoming even as they drag on for over 8 minutes a shot, and believe me, these shots don't go down too easily - instead they claw at the back of the throat like some super strength ooze straight from the river bottoms of nowhere. 'Silver Spoon' has a bayou twinge whilst nine-minute chugger 'When The Dark Clouds Return' reminds us why we don't trust Agony Column. The band flirt with the sinister and also the comedic effortlessly, because the laboratory they own is one of macabre yet almost humorous specimens. Riff's can batter you but then caress, lead you astray, into quicksand where the insects are huge and the thought of life is worse than death. Agony Column could probably be friends with Danzig, Masters Of Reality and to some extent White Zombie but the difference with these guys is that they are schizophrenic, quite capable of a boogie but quickly followed by a bludgeon. Don't go in the woods...

8.5/10

Stonewashed - Way Of Thorns (1995)

Can anyone tell me anything about this band ? The cover suggests a band far removed from metal, in fact during the mid '90s I wouldn't have been surprised if this had been some bloated indie or grunge record. Metal had lots its shine back then and so many cool acts slipped by the way side - not sure if Stonewashed fit into that category because there's such an air of mystery here. A number of tracks breeze in on almost poppy melody that the listener could be forgiven for turning it off should they expect a metal album, or even a hard rock album for tat matter, but give it a few minutes and suddenly Stonewashed are a fully fledged leather winged monster. It's a hybrid of a chugging Iron Maiden fuelled by exotic grunge - nothing truly weird, just a record out of time and place with anything - I'll slot this alongside The Big F, not because it sounds alike, but because it defies completely, existing on its own - not as a weird project, but as something that doesn't add up. Many a beautiful melody slips into juggernaut rock, the soaring 'Jeannie' doesn't allow the listener to peak into what's coming next, 'Train To Nowhere', 'Outta My Brain', et al, what are they ? is it metal ? Course it is, but it's the type of record that would slip by even though it probably features major characters from metal's past - I dunno, I'm just guessing because Stonewashed keep me guessing. It's a good record, but the '90s have carved off its identity and allowed it to slip away...don't know what else to say. It's hard to fathom so give it a listen on You Tube because you'll be hard pressed to find an original.

7.5/10

Ignitor - Road Of Bones (2006)

When I saw the album cover I thought these guys were from the '80s, or early '90s. I've read several reviews which state that Ignitor come across musically as a mix of chugging Anthrax and Overkill, and in some cases I'd agree, but when the vocals of Erika kick in this is clearly a different metal machine. 'Scarlet Enigma' is a moshing monster but there's an air of mysticism about Ignitor in the classic metal sense. Tales of forgotten lands and magical languages, strange creatures and fiery corners. 'Demon Slayer' is a demon of a track and the crystal clear energy of it all reminds me of Nevermore, especially as the band thrash out a handful of the songs. Sadly, Erika would only last this record - some saying that her vocal style did not suit the metal world, but I disagree. The leather clad maiden more than a match for some of the metal guys out there and great to hear '80s style metal wrenched into the modern ans given a few twists to make it all fit.

7.5/10

Agony Column - Brave Words & Bloody Knuckles (1990)

Welcome again to the hellbilly cult we call Agony Column, a brutal, warped mixture of so many other bands yet still creating its own hole to reside in. A truly unhinged combo of craziness, the beautifully named Bat Lord, Crow, Redwing Viper and Devil Chicken, somehow reaching a peculiar level of seriousness on this record as they belch out a full metal wallop of a record that nods to everything and nothing else. Somehow the title track buzzes like insane Trouble perched on a Slayer riff like some predatory vulture waiting to strip the flesh from your gnarled bones. 'Crime & Punishment' has a dark thrashing riff and insane vocal sneer whilst White Zombie are left squirming in the oily backwoods wake of 'No Time To Kill'. 'Brave Words...' is an orgy of the damned, a procession of the whacked out and zany but still the band manage to have an accessible appeal, but it never lasts, the listener unsure whether to attempt to last the pace or run and hide behind the garbage cans. Agony Column aren't startlingly original, they just have a knack for the weird and wonderful, and the uncanny ability to inject themselves into the soul like some lethal drug that makes you feel oh so good. White Zombie attempted to put the 'Texas Chainsaw massacre' onto record but they failed due to repetition. Agony Column somehow infect the bloodstream like a video nasty, dragging you in on those maniacal riffs before chewing you up and spitting you out for the dogs.

Half a decade later the band would record their strangest venture yet, but alongside their debut 'God, Guns & Guts', 'Brave Words...' is a formidable record without category and yet one which reminds me of a classic thrash record recorded by the cast of 'Deliverance'. Dangerous and bruising.

8/10

Catt Butt - Journey To The Centre Of... (1989)

Drenched in fuzz, swamped in down tuned psychedelia, muddy, psych-a-go-go and scuzzy - welcome to another Sub-Pop offering so step into the hazy wilderness and experience a time before the annoyance of grunge - a time when what we went on to call grunge was in fact a dirty brand of rock 'n' roll that crawled from Seattle's back streets. Catt Butt were one of many half cool bands that leapt from the circus bound train and for a brief moment drifted into the metal scene with their woolly jumpers and silly hats. The student crud could be smelled a mile off but those guitars were rich in muck, the vocals as equally swampy, the haywire melodies of 'Maximo' and 'Zombie' bleeding from the speakers with no real pace except to leave a trail of straw on the floor. Blood Circus, Swallow, Catt Butt - for a short time were on a par with Nirvana. I personally thought all these bands were much better.

6/10

Krank - Hideous (1986)

Hard to knock a band who play such wild, flailing metal. Krank, a great name - if no other metal bands existed! - weave together Accept style rumblings with the fiery leather of Priest, all raging, full fisting fury, riding on waves of volcanic guitars, crashing drums and hellish vocals. 'Head Like A Rock', 'No More Lies', 'Rented Heat', pumping with that same masculinity that dosed up Raven and countless other studded bastards. Pure metal in other words, and whilst a tad predictable the fury alone will keep even the most weary metalheads up all night...and maybe even begging for more. The sort of record that makes you sweat just by glaring at the cover.

7/10

Steeler - Undercover Animals 91988)

For some stupid reason, one of my fave metal album covers ever - introduced to this platter via the pages of Metal hammer magazine. Steeler have been around for years, originally starting off as a relatively hot band which of course became watered down as the years rolled by. The late '80s seemed to treat most metal bands with the same paint brush, 'Deeper In The Night' typically sultry, Steeler suddenly becoming the archetype '80s metal band, denim, leather, and video's showing the band being whipped up by smokin' winds and neon lights. 'Knock Me Out' and 'Bad To The Bone' rarely live up to their titles, almost every track on offer a mid-paced, middle of the road power metal anthem lacking any real depth of velocity, but even so, 'Undercover Animal' had me under its spell, and once I was drawn in by the cover I was naive enough to fall for the pleasant metal-by-numbers facade that awaited me around the not so dark corners.

7/10

Metal Priest - Bursting Out (The Beast Became Human) 1986)

Strangely awkward title for an awkward sound band - these German rockers boast wretched vocals that seem a weird, lesser mix of Halford and a tortured Lemmy. A few scorching tracks on offer however which raise an eyebrow, the title track and 'Pyromania' being my personal favourites whilst the slow build of 'Out For Love' struts like AC/DC but the drums pack the punch of a wet sock. Somewhat peculiar in its obscurity and wrapped in a peculiar sleeve, Metal Priest attack like a de-clawed dog that has lost its teeth and yet its appearance still causes concern...where on earth do these bands come from!

6/10

Heretic - Torture Knows No Boundary (1986)

Another crusty EP makes its way on to the stereo, wrenching itself from a remote basement of doom. Very much trapped in an '80s bubble this type of prehistoric metal has become very nostalgic as metalheads around the world search for trips back into memory lane - although it's unlikely that the seething long haired hordes would have experienced such a neolithic creak! The plodding Jack The Ripper-inspired 'Whitechapel' and slightly more fiery 'Portrait Of...' make for an entertaining listen, hell, the occasional buzzsaw riff and rasped vocal even reminds me remotely of old Exodus, but it's so fleeting, and only remains hypnotic in the sense one would be grappling their way through dense fog!

5.5/10

San Antonio Slayer - Go For The Throat (1984)

Just because these guys have the word Slayer in their moniker doesn't mean they churn out similar evil to the thrash kings - mind you, this is still pretty much hyper thrash from the '80s and they did co-exist alongside Slayer back in the day. Sadly, fragile vocals are on show here, although 'The Witch Must Burn' shows the band attempting some type of melody before launching into a skull-ripping attack. Trouble is, most of this sort of stuff was recorded in a dank cellar, and with those amateur vocals and scuzzy guitars you can hear why SAS would've made a great, albeit brief cult act but nothing more. The childish yelps which override 'Hell Will Be Thy Name' prove to be the album's major downfall and once the needle pops off the record, even when you're head hits the pillow you'll never escape those nasty screeches. After one or two listens of 'Go For The Throat' you'll be left with a crud-lined needle! Extra 1/2 mark added for the seemingly sinister cover!

5.5/10

Razormaid - First Cutt (1987)

Cool cover cool record - stompin' '80s metal boasting staggering solo's and swaggering grooves. This escapes the basement which confined so many obscure '80s metal acts, and instead of being stuffy as one would expect it's quite grandiose, awash with Coverdale-esque sultry vocals and lots of lyrics about the night and the streets! However, this isn't some dodgy pastiche of better bands, I sense some intelligence behind its construction, nearly every track rates from very steady to very good, the band knowing how to craft a strong metal machine. 'Victim Of The Night' isn't just formulaic but instead comes across as a powerhouse of a track. I like this sort of stuff - metal that stands on its own two feet even without success. Good on Razormaid for havin' the balls to rock...

7/10

Black Ice - Hot 'n' Heavy (1986)

Nothin' smokin' about this EP from straight laced Californian metallers Black Ice, who like to surf the Dokken wave with elements of blues driven metal. Competent enough and deserves a whisper of a mention as it's pretty obscure and at times when the band chant "Heavy Metal Warriors" on the track, you guessed it, 'Heavy Metal Warriors', as a metal head teenager I would've probably fallen for it. Sincere no doubt but it was never going nowhere but it's always a buzz to dig this sort of thing out of the coffin.

5.5/10

Southgang - Tainted Angel (1991)

Bands like Southgang were not in the public eye long - grunge put pay to that. Whilst formulaic Southgang's 'Tainted Angel' boasted a meaty production and a handful of songs decent enough to wrench them from a million strong crowd of similar acts. Sure, it's all big hair and soaring ballads amidst the hip shaking rockier numbers, but when it works it works real well - the title cut a fine hard rock cut combining the more bolshy aspects of pristine Crue and beefier Warrant. It's a hot bed of gyrating acoustics and sultry electrics, especially on 'Aim For The...', a sweeping power ballad typical of the decade previous to Southgang's intervention. Not bad if you can look past the now seemingly dated image.

6/10

Creepmime - Shadows (1993)

There's something hypnotic about this complicated, down-tuned deathly cavern that calls itself Creepmime. Slots nicely alongside the intricate death metal brigade, a la Despair etc. It's all very bleak at times, doomy in fact as the abrasive guitars graze the face like a Brillo pad, and those hoarse, throaty vocals add extra chills, but deeper within the cess pit I'm hearing addictive echoes, in the same way I became so endeared to Darkthrone's 'Soulside Journey' with its windswept and barbed wire grooves. All slightly monotone and with hints of the cosmic, 'Shadows' is in fact a clever record that exists only as a half-hinted, almost extinct force that long ago slithered from under some rock and then vanished without a trace. All it left in its wake was a rusty residue. There's nothing spectacular about it but there's an awkward feel with those jarring guitars and frozen drums. Creepmime grate the soul then scuttle back into their creepy mine!

7/10

Crisis Party - Rude Awakening (1989)

During the late '80s Guns n' Roses spawned a thousand imitators - Crisis Party being one of those acts. Terry Date may be producer here but oh for the cheek of it - CP mimic G n' R in every aspect, right down to the Axl-esque vocal which, after the first track get so bloody annoying I'm wondering how on earth Metal Blade records gave them a deal. I understand how bands get caught up in trends and there are always record labels out there keen to cash in on a fad and I'm sure that some of these labels may well have been genuine in their attempts to find the next big thing, but at times this just takes the piss. Crisis Party lack sleaze appeal in every department, so it's no wonder they dissolved into nothing - not fit to lace Axl's boots and I'm sure if he'd left them out on his door step Crisis Party would have stolen them!

5/10

Morgoth - Resurrection Absurd (1989)

Amidst the waves of US death metal acts Morgoth came marching from the shadows like the spectral ring wraiths from a Tolkien fantasy - hell bent on proving that the dense, black smoke of death metal was not simply an American creation. Although owing a lot of its sound to the likes of Death, and even Possessed, Morgoth had the appeal to slot nicely alongside the Florida bands as well as carving their own niche for their atmosphere grind. This EP provides a handful of sturdy tracks which revel in their intensity and see Morgoth rise above the hordes to establish themselves as a class act. From the thick riffs of 'Travel' to the twisted chords of 'Afterthought', which rides on a clattering drum, 'Resurrection...' puts Germany on the map as a death metal force...cracking vocals from Grewe and cool cover to match the Gothic atmosphere.

7.5/10

Meldrum - Blowin' Up The Machine (2007)

Get this album any way you can - buy, steal, kill! The second album from Meldrum is proof that there's a female equivalent to Machine Head's 'Burn My Eyes' out there in metal land. This is one helluva furious slab of molten metal - one of the best metal albums in fact I've heard in the last ten years and certainly one of the best records to emerge this side of 2000. Meldrum combine melody and rage to great effect, mainly in the vocal prowess of Moa, a sultry demon who at once terrifies and intrigues, coupled with Meldrum's searing hot riffs this is how metal should exist and they should have been massive if you ask me. Meldrum's sad demise in 2009 robbed the metal world of a great talent but 'Blowin Up...' is a timeless reminder of what great musicians and talents lurk within a field that over the years has been dominated by far less talented hacks. The gargantuan nature of the riffs here is astounding, 'Bite The Pillow', and frothing opener 'Purge' are behemoth cuts, designed to hammer home a weight advantage yet somehow combining the sexual sweatiness of Brody Dalle, and Juliet Lewis. The doom sludge of 'Creme De La Creme' is staggering whilst the flexible 'Scar' sees the band move into a far more melodic state, maybe bringing to mind the jerking ska punk of Skunk Anansie. It's all filth and fury and with Moa gyrating at the front of the stage I see Meldrum as a truly magnificent metal weapon that blasts through walls and move from city to city like some wave of nuclear blitz.  At times devastating in its angst and weight, I'm not sure if to strip off, kneel and worship or run for cover as the human debris splats on the pavement around. Meldrum are monstrous and sexy as fuck too...

8.5/10

Meldrum - Loaded Mental Cannon (2002)

Hold on a minute, where the fuck did this bomb come from ? Meldrum is a mighty metal outfit consisting of a lethal sisterhood including founder member and stunning Michelle Meldrum who sadly passed away in 2009. Meldrum was once part of the bruising all female combo Phantom Blue but Meldrum takes up reins and boy you'd better be ready. This is orgasmic heavy metal straight from the volcano, taking no prisoners it equally grinds and exhales fire to match any record by say, Motorhead. This is one oily fuckin' record of amazing heaviness yet sultry sexiness, enabled of course by the fact that the trio of females present are absolutely stunning and if that's not enough then prepare to be slashed and thrashed by Meldrum's jaw dropping riffs and the dragon breath tones of Moa Holmsten. I haven't heard female fronted rock like this for a while, in fact it kicks like a metal mule, yet is able to present a variety of moods, the melodic 'Feeding The Hope' for example is classic metal but you can take your pick from a number of monsters here and you won't be disappointed. 'The Story Of Junk', 'Through Shattered Eyes' and 'Attackpa', featuring former Thin Lizzy guitar hero Brian Robertson. Don't let it put you off that Europe man John Norum pays a visit to - after all, he is Meldrum's husband. Metal suffered a great loss when Meldrum passed but what she's left behind is a furious legacy that deserves to be heard.

8/10

Malevolent Creation - Retribution (1992)

The second release from MC provides a wrecking ball to the house of metal and destroys it like it were a house of cards. MC took no prisoners, a battering ram of a death metal act who threw the thrills out with the garbage and decided to hit where it hurts the most - all over! Technically brilliant and truly monstrous, from the drum massacre of Alex Marquez to the sonic guitar attack of riff monster Rob Barrett, this takes all we know and love about death metal and simply screws it in the brain a little further. The brutally ominous 'Coronation....' and the Morbid Angel-esque slab of 'Slaugher Of... which comes with twisted riffs of total chaos. Malevolent destroy whether it's at a breakneck speed or a kid-tempo chug, 'Eve Of The Apocalypse' combining both, complete with piano intro and sadistic riff. Certainly one of death metal's finest acts who've existed through so many trends and yet continued to cast ominous shadows to remind the trendy folk that watching over them is a bewildering force. You can run but you can't hide.

8/10

Child's Play - Rat Race (1990)

Not sure if this is sleaze metal, it all seems a little too timid if you ask me, occasionally scratching at the back door like a leopard but when you peek through the cat flap it just turns out to be a moggy! 'Wind' may indeed get in your hair as a sultry candle burner whilst a blues injection seems vital for the band to make their record seem streetwise. Came at a time when metal was neither here nor there - Child's Play didn't really latch on to a scene and probably didn't have the ability or swagger to either. A handful of half-decent tracks, 'Day After Night' and the boozy 'Good Ol' Rocking Roll' might get the lads up for a jiggle but if bands like the mighty Love/Hate couldn't make an impact then Child's Play had no chance. Strange album covers almost suggest some lo-fi Brit indie record!

6.5/10

XYZ - XYZ (1989)

A slightly flaccid offering from a heavily influenced Dokken act who have the rather unfortunate name of XYZ - leaving them not only way down in the alphabet but also low down in the bargain bins probably. Well no, it's not all bad but this record lacks any sort of bite, drifting as an almost standard fare into the realms of mediocrity never to be heard again. Okay so the tracks often appear on You Tube but in today's age everything is on You Tube isn't it ? I think it's worth checking out any metal from the '80s even if this one passes by without effect - I'm hearing a hint of Scorpions in there too alongside the pomp of 'Maggy' and various other faceless cuts. All abit to simple - in fact as simple as A,B,C!

6/10

Brutality - Screams Of Anguish (1993)

After the Florida scene blew up in the late '80s and early '90s, death metal became a major force in propelling the heavy metal scene to new, murderous levels. Brutality were a fine technical death metal act who were rather underrated despite coughing up this bloody pile of sonic metal which at once had the ability to not only decapitate but also experiment. Chesty vocals accompanied by a mid-tempo pounding groove always works well within this scene but it's not long before the band up the anti with those trigger drums and crushing hyper riffs. 'These Walls Shall Be Your Grave' and 'Spawned Illusion' tear the flesh with ease, but like so many bands of this ilk Brutality, despite the severity of their name, drift effortlessly into cosmic voids too - 'Spirit World' is a haunting acoustic instrumental that would, no doubt, lead your listening grandmother astray before battering her senseless as another bout of aggression lurks around the corner.

Decent death metal indeed, now go and clear up grannies flesh from the carpet.

7/10

Circle Of Soul - Hands Of Faith (1991)

Circle Of Soul kinda emerged as the last embers of funk metal and alterno-metal had dissipated in metal's dying black sky. Thankfully, those who got to listen to COS would have found much to enjoy as the funk trend pretty much spiralled out of control and most of the bands disappeared up their own cartoon arses due to pulling too many silly faces. Circle Of Soul never resorted to the comedy side of things, but instead carved out an almost sultry style of soulful rock that combined the acoustics of '80s hair metal and the more sublime slink of Lenny Kravitz, Living Colour and to a lesser degree the Red Hot Chili Peppers. This was a relatively obscure record never fitting into any trend - not because its content defied musical categorisation - but simply because there was no real interest in this stuff anymore and so it slipped by the wayside. There's a subtle appeal to this record which comes to fruition in the half hinted freshness of a track like 'War' or the breezy hair metal crescendo of 'One Kiss'. Couple that with a Living Colour strut, of say 'Stone In My Shoe', and one finds themself endeared to COS while it lasted.

7/10

Vain - Enough Rope (2011)

Davy Vain was one of the coolest rock stars never to play stadiums. Vain's debut album 'No Respect' never got the praise it deserved and so what seems like aeon's later, Davy returns with another glam rock punch to the mid section. 'Enough Rope' doesn't need to nod to the late '80s and early '90s because that's where it originated from, a throbbing glam rock dynamic boosted by Jamie Scott's searing guitar work, coupled with Vain's sensual, sexual and sleazy vocal sneer. Effortless rock 'n' roll that proves how this stuff can still exist without being laboured or nostalgic. It's all about the attitude and Vain have it by the bucket load, carving out glittery grooves that lube up the tightest of holes for heavy metal insertion. Motley Crue, Hanoi Rocks, The Cult, it's all here, that pure swaggering feel that some bands are just born with - from the lipstick oomph of 'Cindy' and the sweltering 'Hot Stage Lights', evoking images of strip clubs but also a more intelligent structure. Vain were more than just image, but let's hope that this time they keep the fire burning and carve a career out of those razor sharp anthems. Ratt weren't half as good and yet Vain for some reason always remained in the shadow of weaker acts....but this is their time. Hopefully.

8/10

Reckless Love - Animal Attraction (2011)

Since the dawning of Steel Panther - a band which I never thought I'd appreciate but do in droves - there seems to be a few acts trying their hand at a cheesy style pomp rock. Some of the bands are doing it for a joke - all well and good but many aren't as musically adequate as SP - and are falling flat on their faces - whilst some of the bands are doing it straight, Reckless Love could be perceived as one of those acts. The trouble is, such a lightweight journey leaves me begging for Steel Panther's...er...steely growl, because Reckless Love have leapt on the Def Leppard bandwagon and are refusing to get off. 'Animal...' is their second opus and it reeks of Leppard, circa 'Hysteria' etc. It borrows so heavily, and also likes to steal one or two Van Halen grooves too, that it becomes a puffy mess of powdery pomp. Vocally it's just the Lepp's Joe Elliot swooning over a collection of fragile mid tempo plodders, from the synth driven 'Hot', the dreamy 'Fantasy' and 'Dirty Dreams' which sounds as though it's stolen various '80s rock ideas. Steel Panther may be crude but they still know how to rock, and if I wanted music like this then I'd simply go and put a Def Leppard record one. Why oh why do bands mimic so heavily ? I guess this sort of stuff doesn't deserve to be on this blog - and alongside so many formulaic and yet allegedly current 'thrash' bands, I'm finding all this 'paying homage to the '80s' metal rather vomit inducing.

4/10

Gama Bomb - Survival Of The Fastest (2006)

These Irish 'retro thrashers' continuously pay homage to old school thrash with their mediocre brand of chugging speed. Sadly, as I'm finding myself saying time and time again - if anyone is listening - why the fuck is the new scene so vital when it's simply so dire in its attempts to mimic the past ? The humour is here for all to hear, zombies, sci-fi, blah blah, and the usually global warming issues wrapped up in a tepid style of thrash that comes across as a bad version of Exodus, Nuclear Assault and countless others before. I guess if you've never heard thrash before you'll find this great - but for anyone who owns records beyond Metallica this will hit the ears as a rather lukewarm homage to all that's gone before, but why spend forty minutes of your life listening to this bland moshing when you can slap on Nuclear Assault's 'Survive' and thrash real hard. None of this revival makes sense in the slightest, unless it acts as a way for new fans to realise how dire the new breed are compared to the original guys who, in some cases are still going and doing it much better, harder and faster. By keep repeating myself I'm beginning to sound as dull as the riffs that litter Gama Bomb's debut record. It's just not funny anymore...I was there in the '80s, you guys weren't so get the fuck over it.

5/10

Kix - Hot Wire (1991)

Kix were a reliable band, deserving of the recent album box set release I guess, although I could've thought of loadsa cooler, even thrashier bands who deserve their own box set. Even so, this cheeky mover does it's best, once again, at combining AC/DC ('Girl Money'), sleazy glam ('Luv A Holic') and '80s hair metal pout ('Tearin Down The Walls'). Okay, so vocally it begins to grate after half the songs have settled in - at times it borders on Cinderella for tonsillitis rasps, but it makes the perfect soundtrack to any teen metalhead's bedroom, with enough rebel yell for Hell, albeit slightly out of time by 1991.

6.5/10

Sixx Am - This Is Gonna Hurt (2011)

Nikki Sixx is my hero, and Sixx Am seems to be a very popular project with music fans in general. I, sadly, can take it or leave it, because whilst I can acknowledge Nikki's songwriting talent and DJ Ashba's guitar wizardry, I'm continuously left cold by the vocals of James Michael. The band's debut was very good in parts but I always struggled to get my ears around Michael's all too subtle - weak, anyone ? - tones. So many times a tune would kick in with killer guitars, a heavy drum, a crushing melody, and then it would be flattened by Michael's almost 'nu metal' croon, and this time around the vocals have just destroyed my faith in Sixx Am. Sure, this is an emotional trip, and Mr Sixx would probably say, well, if you don't like it then fuck you...so fuck me it is, because put another vocalist on this and Sixx Am rocks, but as it stands Michael is a watery mess that brings to mind a cliche of emo bands, his emotional subtle tones just killing every killer riff, grating on my nerves as he soars to the top of the charts...put James Michael in front of My Chemical Romance and his vocals probably work, but not here...not for me. There's no doubting the strength of the songs, 'Lies Of The Beautiful people', 'Live Forever' et al, are good, solid rock n roll tracks, but it's oh so pristine, the edge blunted by the predictable holier then thou vocals from a man that has a voice which suits only some mediocre middle of the road band, and I never wanted Sixx Am to be that type of band, and musically they aren't, but vocally it irritates so much that I just can't sit through another listen. This probably won't be the last we hear of Sixx Am but all the while James Michael is at the helm, I'll have to pass....this really does hurt, and there's nothing more painful than a band whose vocalist sucks. Sorry.

5/10

Anthrax - Worship Music (2011)

I for one, welcomed back Joey Belladonna with open arms, so lost was I by the bands John Bush meanderings. Judging by sales and reviews, 'Worship Music' is what everyone hoped for and more, the band stomping the stage as part of the Big Four and ready to thrash again. Should we believe the hype ? Well, in most cases yes...it's Anthrax, and for me 'Spreading The Disease' and 'Among The Living' are two of metal's greatest records, even 'State...' and 'Persistence...' were decent affairs, and now we've come full circle, thrash metal is back in a big way, there's lotsa fresh new talent (albeit too many bands paying respects to the past with their sound) and so we always hope we'll never be let down by the original masters...Slayer have always stuck to their guns, as have Megadeth, whilst Metallica for me anyway, have been a disgrace since '88, but can Anthrax enable us to worship the scene again ? There's no doubt that Anthrax aren't just here to make up the thrash numbers, the mighty riff attack of Ian and Caggiano is one that reduces houses to rubble. If there's always been one band known for its chug then it's Anthrax, but this time round there's a refreshing, melodic, yet pummelling chug bolstered by the startling Belladonna and a renewed set of pipes....there's no jokes, no gimmicks, just pure cranium carvery as the five piece hammer home a weighty affair that clearly finds no purpose in reminiscing on the days of mosh! 'Earth On Hell', and the mighty mayhemic 'Fight Em Til You Can't' propel Anthrax back to the top of the league, blessed with amazing melody, this could easily be Sabbath circa Ronnie Dio, and Maiden at it's most sublime, with added velocity. Bello's bass is, as expected, of earthquake standard and Benanate's drums raise the levels of the boom, and that guitar sound is so punishing, lead weight, crushing, devastating, and crisp and clear. Anthrax 2011 isn't necessarily a thrash band - 'Worship...' simply concretes their legend without the need to resort to tried and tested ways. The monstrous 'Judas Priest' and album closer 'Revolution Screams' are titanic in structure whilst 'I'm Alive' is destined to become a timeless metal anthem, the melody an absolute killer. As the album progresses the band does tend to slow, but as I said, Anthrax have no need to thrash anymore, but instead have crafted an album of highly polished metal anthems that never once require bermuda short buffoonery but instead take the classic, cold steel energy of bands such as Sabbath (circa Dio), Priest, Maiden, and their own sense of knowing, to construct a dark rumbling beast. 'In The End' a prime example of how a band such as Anthrax need not worry about the wave of pretenders that have saturated a field they once ruled. Anthrax will always rule, in what ever form they take, but the skin they seem most comfortable in is one that within its fold includes Joey Belladonna. Metallica - listen to this and weep.

8.5/10

Souls Of We - Let The Truth Be Known (2008)

Also known as George Lynch's Souls Of We, this four piece are the brainchild of ex-Dokken fret-master George Lynch, and fronted by ex Brides Of Destruction warbler London LeGrande, and what a corker of a record it is. One could imagine this drifting through the air waves in 1992, as it has that type of alternative vibe but it also packs a punch, mainly due to Lynch's rather surprising doom-laden and grunge infested guitars. Admittedly, LeGrande has never had the strongest set of pipes but his rasp someone slots in amongst those swampy guitars, making Souls Of We a pretty infectious debut that weaves a dark path through sweaty bayous and gnat-infested swamps. I was shocked at how instant this record is, and whilst I thought initially that fourteen cuts would be way too long, I became absorbed by the voodoo vibes and startled by how catchy and clever it all is, especially as Lynch's twiddlings do their own thing amid the murky backwater blues. This somehow evokes the likes of Alice In Chains and a more swampy Mindfunk, but it's huge on the grooves and LeGrande is more than happy to provide the swagger - check out the venomous yet languid 'January' with its soaring chorus. At times it's as thick as quicksand but it continues to pull itself free with surprising choruses of infectious quality - 'St Jude' is mesmerising, and almost original as rock tracks go, but the sheer weight the band offer is the biggest and most pleasant surprise - Lynch drags the likes of 'Skeleton Key' and 'Sorry To Say' into Sabbath-esque caverns, but each time the band rescue themselves from the treacle by way of a cool hook or catchy chorus. I never thought I'd find Souls Are We so fascinating, and the well packaged cd, complete with candy skull artwork is a joy to the eye. Hats off to them, I just hope they get some success, because any band that can remain so heavy and yet so cool deserves another shot at glory. My guess is that Souls Of We will just fade away, but if you can grab this record then let yourself become immersed in the sludge because this is fragrant ooze!

8/10

Heaven's Edge - Heaven's Edge (1990)

There were a lot of people in the metal world who felt that Heaven's Edge should have been massive and that their fire was quickly extinguished by the wet flannel known as grunge. Although I'm of the opinion that Nirvana and many of the dire grungeheads did indeed put a pay to metal in the early to mid '90s, I'm not sure if Heaven's Edge would have been huge, despite the fact this is a quality debut record. When I first about these Philly guys I thought they were gonna sound pretty weak, but I was wrong - this debut is a bolshy affair that has a considerable weight alongside a set of stomping anthems which may have seemed a little out of time. Think Crue's 'Dr Feelgood' for that distinctively crisp production and put together a set of big haired metal acts who never quite made the grade, but give it all a lethal injection of sonic guitars and bombastic drums and Heaven's Edge are the monster you'll come up with. If this had emerged around '86 then things may have been dfferent - if Heaven's Edge had surfed on the same wave as say, Skid Row, or Extreme, then they'd have got the kudos they deserved, but despite some rockin' reviews, this debut scarf waver fizzled out in the Seattle rain. Yes it's hair metal, but it's so huge in its sound and so damn talented, just sit back and be scorched by the guitar attack of Steven Parry and Reggie Wu. And there's those massive sounding drums from David Rath, flying high on a cosmic riser, and fronted by the immaculate Mark Evans, who, with puffed out chest took metal yells to new heights. It's not an album that's rough around the edges - far from it, some will hear a little Bon Jovi, especially in the vocals, whilst others may hear some Dokken fury in those chords, but it's the bands' ability to write a catchy hook that impresses most. 'Play Dirty', 'Skin To Skin', 'Bad Reputation', 'Is That All You Want ?' are all smoking tunes which sound fresh today, but would have surely hit bigger times had the band existed, or released them a couple of years earlier. It's great the album has a reissue because any fan of melodic metal will surely find Hraven's Edge heaven sent, and for the sceptical hard metallers out there, even they'll be surprised by the beefy ingredients this album has to offer. More stomp than pomp...

8/10

Magnum - Kingdom Of Madness (1979)

I'm sulking because the cover here is nowhere near as great as my vinyl copy - Magnum once again enticing the listener into an alleged realm of fantasy - even if the album on the whole lacks the magic one would expect and succumbs to too many wanderings down keyboard drenched pathways. Sadly, the electronica bestowed upon the album prevents it from being even a half-decent rock record, the band clearly talented and effortlessly churning out gargantuan epics, but it's the more simple cuts such as 'Baby Rock Me' which remain refreshing, driving the same type of strut as a hard edged Queen whilst side two opener 'All That Is Real' I've often described as a bright and breezy pile of niceness! For me this is watery rock, with added cheese, 'Lords Of Chaos' a prime example as another no good piece of funky bubbly soup. Strong guitars are all too fleeting, the band opting for the wistful and at times too quirky to have any effect. I guess Magnum are not every one's cup of tea but I'd rather drink tea than sit through 'Kingdom Of Madness' again, because like 'On A Storyteller's Night', this flatters to deceive and hides behind a fantastic cover when the reality is it's like sucking a sponge full of water!

6/10

Masi -Downtown Dreamers (1988)

What the hell does opener 'God Promised A Paradise' remind me of ? Is it a metal version of Belinda Carlisle's '80s pop hit 'Heaven Is A Place On Earth' or some Bon Jovi-cum-Dave Lee Roth hair metal vomit ? It's all kind of mesmerisingly bad! Full throttle on the guitars - courtesy of said guitar wanker Mr Masi - vocally the chap named David doesn't have the beef as Bernie K who impressed on 'Fire In The Rain', but it's all still the same straight '80s metal evoking images of city lights and distant highways. 'Thunder & Lightning' - can it get more cheesy ? is enveloped in frazzling solos, a watered down Dio to some extent, and as Coverdale mimic Fefolt croons "I'm a lover...", and some sad decaying bimbo runs her fingers through his jungle of chest hair, we are reminded why this type of metal made the '80s so great but also why metal eventually got left behind when the serious grunge heads invaded. 'Foggy Day In Hollywood' showcases Masi's talent - just in case we'd forgotten, whilst 'hellraiser', 'State Of Rock' and 'Movin On' are token rockers perfect for every '80s metal pool party.

7/10

Deep Purple - The House Of Blue Light (1987)

I feel like I should downgrade this record just because it's a mundane, late '80s DP record - so fitting of its time, I can just imagine this being promoted on Tommy Vance's Friday Rock Show! So, it's not a masterful record, and if you ask me none of their records were genius despite the acclaim given to some of the early records - and I've always found Gillan's voice soothing rather than hellbent on metal fury, but, there are some very cool moments on this record, for one, the killer riff to 'Hard Lovin Woman', pure Blackmore magic. The organ drenched 'Mitzi Dupree' showcases the smokey, blues atmosphere we've come to expect from the band over the years whilst 'Dead Or Alive' is a galloping rider of the darkest night! At times there's a maiden feel, and it's always typically mid to late '80s in its feel which is fine by me, and whilst I've always taken DP and their records with a pinch of salt, on certain nights of the year 'The House...' can be quite an absorbing experience.

7/10

Saxon - The Eagle Has Landed (1982)

Yep, it's Saxon and it's a live album. So what ? Ten tracks recorded across the valleys of Europe in 1981, showcasing the bands finest moments, 'Heavy Metal Thunder', 'Wheels Of Steel' etc. Not many live metal albums were spectacular...this isn't, but then again we don't expect gimmicks from Biff and company so if you like Saxon then just listen to it, and that's that. Bye!

7/10

Virus - Lunacy (1989)

A bruising slab of mosh metal that combines the hard hitting attack of early Suicidal Tendencies with a more urban, downbeat toughness. Heston's strained vocal delivery adds extra gravel to the baseball bat effect this record has on the bones - Anthrax on steroids ? Massive chugging assaults on opener 'Seeing...' followed by the Testament-like construction of the title cut, bolstered by McFinlay's raging guitar and those clattering Kaylor drums. 'Lunacy' doesn't set out to dazzle but as long as the kids are going mental in the pit and the sweat is flying then you know Virus have made a solid record.

7/10

DBC - Universe (1989)

Long before I listened to DBC (Dead Brain Cells in case ya don't know!) I always thought they were some type of moshing crossover act in the DRI vein, but after just one listen of this record one can't help be blown away. 'Universe' is a complex concept album of cosmic proportions that sounds as fresh today as the time it was made - a riveting experience with titles alone that suggest a mature, intricate dosage of jerking thrash. Opener 'The Genesis Explosion' wouldn't seem out of place on a Voivod record - DBC shock the ears with their almost original brand of technical moshing that mostly bewilders but always stays fresh in the mind. Dakin's choppy vocals make the listening experience even more jarring as the band pulverise the senses with myriads of rhythms and sprawling webs of intrigue - the jagged guitars of Shahini and Oullette take thrash to new levels, hardly headbanging material as it cavorts like some star-crossed dragon in contorted flight. This may appear somewhat alienating to those without an ear for such mesmeric meanderings, 'Heliosphere', 'Estuary' and 'Phobos &Deimos' all complex slabs of metal mastery that take more than a few listens to sink in. When I first heard this record many years ago I didn't expect the masterclass of precision metal that bewildered every sense - the perception and experimentation of the band enabling them to slot alongside Anacrusis for magical yet at times isolating listening. The Gothic swirls of 'Primordium' create visions of celestial stardust, DBC create their own universe not a million miles away from the dabblings of deathsters Pestilence or Voivod. 'Universe' may well have been one of the records the government employed as part of their space programme in order to contact extraterrestrials. How the fuck bands come up with this sort of stuff is beyond me, but if you want further proof that nu-metal shite like Slipknot is music for children, then grab a copy of 'Universe' and experience the equivalent of musical alien abduction. Brain frazzling!

8/10

Stevie Salas Colorcode - S/T (1990)

As the funk metal wave swept through metal city, far cooler bands carved their own soulful niche. Fishbone, Living Color, 24-7-Spyz and Stevie Salas were more than just imitators or cartoon punks. They never attempted to be metal - they weren't, but their hard driving levels of funk and soul just happened to get noticed by those fans eager to snap up the latest rock trend that was far removed from death, glam or straight edged metal. These bands seemed to deliver fresh messages although their words were fleeting. Stevie Salas and his band of merry funksters had enough funk to even make the likes of Prince proud, and then there's the lashings of Parliament, Lenny Kravitz, and that Hendrix groove going on. And not forgetting the darker stains of Living Color. Packed full of promise, this is a debut that rocks hard and cavorts like a serpentine mother ship, hell bent on simply creating dynamic funk with cutting guitars and steely chorus lines. There's so much sunshine soul on offer that any self respecting fan of bands ranging from Thin Lizzy to the already mentioned Prince, will find much to freak out to, or simply laze in the rays of this groover if you wish. 'Caught In The Middle' is pure pop rock, 'The Harder They Come' is cool funk with a Chili Pepeprs twist and personal fave 'Indian Chief' reeks of Hendrix. However, when one throws so many cool bands (okay, not including the Chili Peppers) in the mix, the influences are naturally going to shine, so if you fancy something far removed from '90s metal but still hard edged then this is a record to take you there.

7.5/10

Skyclad - The Wayward Sons Of Mother Earth (1991)

After his shock departure from UK thrash gods Sabbat, Martin Walkyier set up his stall at the carnival bizarre with Skyclad. Another truly brilliant and mesmerising thrash act of medieval stature and with the wise nature of an ancient owl, essential not only for Walkyier's demonic growls but those amazing structures, filtering through a menagerie of instruments from flutes to violins, all the while encased within a speedy, sinister cacophony of thrash. Way ahead of its time, very British, oaken and majestic, and every bit as poetic. All one needs is a roaring woodland fire and an imagination, because Skyclad is every bit as fantastic and elven as Sabbat, casting grim spells and spinning a myriad of yarns. Not once falling for cliche, this is the perfect background to Tolkien's march of orcs. This is pure molten metal but it exists beyond the dreams (and nightmares) of a majority of other bands, so gifted is it its medieval madness. 'The Sky Beneath My Feet elevates Walyier as a songwriter, placing him in his own magical realm, untouched as those guitars speed around him like Gothic doves. 'Our Dying island' and the spectral 'Mongleam And Meadowsweet' are like nothing I've ever heard before, so intricate and interwoven by melody and fantasy, one hardly gets time to drawn breath before they are enveloped by another gleaming forest glade or entangled in the crawling roots of a vampyric tree.

I still prefer the first two Sabbat records, but Skyclad and Sabbat are two very different bands,  and to them, annually we must forever offer a gift in worship.

8/10

Onslaught - The Sounds Of Violence (2011)

In the '80s British thrash was given a hard time and never reached the dizzy heights of the US and some of the European bands. Now however the UK scene is a real force, and veterans Onslaught, with their last two albums, this, and 'Killing Peace', have really found their niche and simply blow away anything the new wave of US thrash acts are doing at the moment. There is something so monstrous about the strains of 'Born For War', and the nuclear 'Hatebox', a furious mix of clear production, fiery guitars and aggressive vocals. If this was an American band it would be up there with the last batch of Exodus and Overkill albums, the monolithic 'Code Black' showing how Slayer should have thrashed in the '90s, hell, even Pantera sneak into a few of the riffs and vocal growls. It's great to hear the bands of old showing the new kids how its done, and that initial groove on 'Godhead' is pure maniacal magic with a lashing of thrashing Slayer. Violent sounds indeed. "Children of good you're fucking eviiiilll.....AAARRRGGGHHHH!"

8/10

Hour Of 13 - Hour Of 13 (2007)

For those of you who've been fortunate enough to experience the cult that is known as Pagan Altar, may find similar spells cast by Hour Of 13. Imagine a more polished Ozzy, over a buzzing, grey riff, and you might have an idea what Hour Of 13 are about, but of course, it's much more than that. Hour Of 13 create spooky gloom by their simplicity, providing great atmosphere and lyrics which the likes of Ghost could only bore with. the massive 'Call To Satan' evokes images of strange shadowy figures and fog-ridden graveyard's, always hinting towards the Sabbath megalomania, but then again, it's so hard not to, but the tone and tempo is then lowered for the grimoire 'Hex Of Harm'. Hour Of 13 are a pair of warlocks happy to reside in some dusty woodland cabin and conduct clandestine rituals whilst a dirty, stormy riff directs proceedings from the distance.

7.5/10

Vektor - Black Future (2009)

Well, this is a turn up for the black books. Vektor, like Bastardator, have no time for the retro thrash revival, instead they seem intent on crawling back to the toxic lair of Voivod, Destruction, and the likes and creating a mind boggling factory of black fumes and intricate evil. fans of Anacrusis and the likes will lap up this formidable assault of black thrash, propelled to even greater charcoaled insanity by the vocal rasp of DiSanto whose throat must be shredded after this! Rumour has it these guys are immense live, the black and white sleeve hinting at what holocaustic nightmares of thrash these guys can construct. Complex indeed, nothing simple on offer, just an array of jerking rhythms and jolting structures which paint pretty little pictures of alien worlds besieged by chaos and murderous frenzy. Some may find the violent dynamics of the title cut a little too 'black metal', and the parched 'Oblivion' has no interest in trends, marching through the ash-caressed streets like some armour-plated dog of war hellbent on thrashing beyond comprehension. The punkoid noise is refreshing on my eyes, the wondrous 'Destroying The Cosmos' drips into the room like oil seeping from a sunken rig before those jarring guitars trigger epileptic drums of grim fury. Immense stuff that blisters the fingers in its unrelenting arrogance. 'Black Future' buzzes like a titanic pylon in a world ending storm.

8/10

Gothic Slam - Just A Face In The Crowd (1989)

No joke thrashcore from New Jersey laced with angst toward a depressive society, which comes across in the pretty furious, albeit slightly mundane music, except for those punchy choruses and heavy guitar crunches. Certainly not a stereotypical mosh assault, the angry 'Who Died And Made You God' being the album 'hit', although personal faves being the mellow 'Demented Obsession' which leads into a mid tempo chuggernaut, reminding me of Metallica, and the five minute 'Battered Youth' which gallops in on a thunder bass and heavy riff. Somehow this type of stuff was so appealing and I find myself even more intrigued by it many years later, maybe it's the hint of groove and the sincerity of it all.

7/10

Noisy Mama - Everybody Has One (1991)

Terrible album cover and name, doesn't really enable the listener to grasp what this is about, but delve beyond the flaws and you'll find this a cracking little sleaze album, elevated by the oomph of the vocal wheeze. Sounds like Faster Pussycats Taime Downe with a bad case of asthma! The superb 'Long Way From Home' is a lazy, bluesy stroll through the desert, reminds me of War Babies in its effortless glide, cool stuff indeed. 'Little Brown Jug' starts with a Zeppish jig, supplying the ears with a Black Crowes/ Rolling Stones swagger and a most definite nod to AC/DC, whilst 'Dirty Dog' and 'Heart Of Stone' keep the bluesy metal flag flying. So many bands have tried this party rock and usually end up a pale, watered down version of their heroes, but Noisy Mama, despite the dodgy cover and band name even give Dogs D'Amour a run for their money with that gravel voiced drunkenness. All a bit of a mystery to me, but so sownright infectious, it'll make one want to smash up a few hotel rooms. Sadly, almost out of its comfort zone, but again, like War Babies, kinda stands alone. I wouldn't trust these guys!

7.5/10