Van Halen - 1984 (1983)

The only VH album I can listen to more than once. No denying the Lycra pomposity of frontman Dave Lee Roth or the wizardry of guitar god Eddie Van Halen as he lays down some seriously funky twiddling, and of course the album boasted a fist of hits, 'Jump', possibly one of metal's most known cuts blessed with that catchy keyboard and swirling guitar, and the images of DLR leaping high into the hair with tassels and sweat everywhere. '1984', despite the cheeky MTV vid hit 'Hot For Teacher' only plods in at around half an hour, but, like Kiss, VH have inspired and influenced millions and I'm not sure how. Van Halen have put metal into people's homes, they've created gargantuan boogie anthems of fun and yet it just grates on me time and time again. '1984' was to be the last featuring Dave, and I was never one to care. The melody of 'Drop Dead Legs' and riffing 'I'll Wait' pass me by with no effect. I find it all a bit lukewarm, and whilst I can acknowledge the musicianship I'm not the least bit interested, never have been a never will be. Sorry.

5/10

Firehouse - Hold Your Fire (1992)

I wonder what the grunge heads would have made of this ?! Pomp rock at its finest, Firehouse aren't afraid to wear yellow cowboy boots or to add extra hairspray, but of course at the time the look and sounded had started to wear thin. Yep, it's dated, but Firehouse still rock like so many of the '80s hair metal acts and great that they were still carrying the rock flag even in times of trouble. 'Reach For The Sky', 'Rock You Tonight', 'The Meaning Of Love', 'Hold The Dream', it's all middle of the road stuff drenched with harmony, occasionally getting funky. Of course it can be a bit mediocre, but you can't expect too much especially as these guys pretty much missed the boat when this type of hard rock was all the rage. Firehouse are very enthusiastic at what they do, and whilst it's not genius it still has its place.

6.5/10

Kix - Blow My Fuse (1988)

These guys released a handful of rockin' records, 'Blow...' is probably the best of the lot. It's an overlooked record that smokes, Whiteman's vocal delivery takes us back to the raw and meaty days of Vince Neil and Dee Snider, and coupled with a pretty heavy rock sound, 'Blow...' really does destroy fuses. I'm hearing a hot-bed of Twisted Sister, old Crue, AC/DC, and a steady collection of decent cuts, the ballad 'Don't Close Your Eyes' is one of metal's most underrated. This isn't just sleaze rock by numbers, far from it, indeed a collection of stompin' metal tracks that enabled the band to carve a half-decent career which took them into the mid '90s when this sort of stuff was considered prehistoric. Lookin' back however, I find myself endeared to 'Blow...' and more than happy to slap it on a good few times.

7/10

Railway - Heavy Metal Fever (1984)

Now, we all know that there's nothing better than having heavy metal fever and the mundanely named Railway have got it. Don't be put off by the name although I often wonder how old the child is who designs these type of album covers! There's a strong AC/DC influence here, as you'd expect in probbaly 50% of metal bands from that era, but there's also some solid, fuzzy guitars and some cracking upbeat rockers with equally rockin' titles - 'Screamin After Midnight', 'Out To Kill', 'Hell Soldiers' all pack a fair punch. I guess a modern version of these guys would be a band like Young Heart Attack, because it's pumping metal that just goes for the throat, no holds barred in its ferocity and lethal in its clawed swipe. Hell yeah.

7/10

Ded Engine - Hot Shot (1985)

Well, at times I think this sounds a little...just a little, bit like a mix of Ozzy meets Kiss. Maybe it's the pompous strut of vocalist Scott and searingly hot guitars which accompany his velvet tone. There's a bit of Fastway too and everything that's revved up metal to be honest, the title cut is a minor classic as is 'Young Hot' and frothing wildebeest ramble of 'Rabid'. Some cool riffs on offer, a few doom-laden lumps of metal too all mixed with a Kiss-type groove that makes this easy on the ear. Hits all the right spots and smokes as much...

7/10

Mercy - King Doom (1989)

Wow, Sweden's Mercy used to be fronted by ex Candlemass morose monk Messiah Marcolin and they've been around since prehistoric times, and their brand of doom is as monstrous as the era they were born. Mind you, don't get all depressed thinking this is more walking in treacle doom metal, far from it, this massive beast knows how to quicken the tempo at times ('Darkness') and isn't afraid to make the listener afraid either - check out the chills on 'Sorrows', shudder. Fronted by Rick Wine, Mercy clearly have their finger on the pulse within a genre that all too often succumbs to slo-mo gloom for thrills. 'King Doom' not only creates a wondrously dark atmosphere, but the cover reminds me of some type of 1970s horror novel - think Dennis Wheatley. Some wicked guitar strums courtesy of Andrija Veljaca enable 'King Doom' crack the walls of your tomb.

7/10

Piledriver - Stay Ugly (1986)

I like this type of metal - a raw and rampant mix of WASP, Twisted Sister and Dr Mastermind, mainly of course in the whole leathery, shock rock image. Of course, it doesn't add up to equal any of the mentioned bands but its accomplished metal that suffers slightly due to its reliance on the whole facade, which some at the time may have classed as a fad. With titles like 'The Excutioner' and 'Metal death Racer' you can imagine this to be high speed blood and dirt in the face, and you'd be halfway there. Many years later this is a bit of an obscurity, but unlike many albums of the time this album doesn't sound like it was recorded in a stuffy basement, in fact quite the contrary suggesting some serious backing behind the band. However, because of the image issue it seems that Piledriver are more intent on staying ugly rather than getting down to the business they clearly knew but never realised.

6/10

Satan's Host - Metal From Hell (1986)

Some band names are just too tongue in cheek. This reminds me of when I once pretended to be in a band called Satanic Death!! This has been recorded in the shed of the dead if you ask me and it's mildly entertaining, equally obscure but strains too much in the vocal department. The title cut isn't too bad, even a tad hardcore but there's also a bit of Maiden in there too as there seems to be with so many bands from this era. It's the inept vocals which really let this record down making this album a bit of a thrash in the pan!

4.5/10

Desolation Angels - Desolation Angels (1986)

Oh my giddy aunt - this is big. Right, imagine a world - something akin to Middle Earth (Tolkien's creation for those not in the know) where the only bands rumoured to exist are Heavy Load, Kick Axe, Sabbath, Trouble, Witchfinder General, Pentagram, Cirith Ungol et al. Desolation Angels would also be part of that earthy clan of evil warlocks. The more I listen to this so-called New Wave Of British Heavy metal (NWOBHM) the more I start to think that it's this sort of sound that personifies the 'doom' tag. Forget the imitation bands trying to depressing and slow, let's just exist in the woods and play real heavy metal - the bands mentioned are real heavy metal, they are sincere, and genuine in their attempt to rise from their oaken throne and bang even the most sturdy and stiff of heads. Desolation Angels have that obscure air of mystery about them, the album cover and then - wwhhhooooaaaaahhhhh - where does that evil riff come from ? Desolation Angels built a basement in the darkest castle and crafted this album of what can only be described as mesmerising and real heavy metal. Epic with ease, it creaks like an ancient library of clandestine information. It smells like the oldest, yellowing book, and when the dust is blown off, dragons, goblins, warlords and demons come charging from within. From the monstrous yawning 'Spirit Of The Deep', to the doom-laden weight of 'Evil Possessor', I can only salute this monolithic record which exists in another realm - another time - it cannot live any longer because every second it excels itself and doesn't need to prove any further point. Like Trouble's self titled masterpiece, and their crustier earlier efforts, like Witchfinder General's medieval landscapes of rain, and like Sabbath's earth shattering brand of post Beatles evil, Desolation Angels create an equally ominous shadow on the horizon. The vocals are a war cry, the riffs are high on warrior fire, the drums are a bell of hell, but nothing drones, nothing labours, instead Desolation Angels wrench out a track like 'Death Machine' and then they shriek into the sky like some moon-sized crow, leaving their folklore to scare the villagers for the next million years. This is a mighty record that almost sounds out of place in the '80s, but because the Dark Ages never experienced record players, this self-titled juggernaut has to sit in the '80s but its shadow has been cast forever yonder. Responsible for earthqaukes all over the world....seek it out before you are crushed into nothing. Metal rules.

9/10

Steel Assassin - From The Vaults (1987)

And the vault is dust laden and musty! Great album cover, reminds me of Judas Priest and as that dense riff overloads the title cut I start to think it's going to be a doom laden record, but soon it spirals into a breakneck metal record. Escolas' vocal attack ensures this is going to be uptempo and fist pumping throughout although there's an almost low-budget feel to it all, but it can also strive to be epic giving it a Maidenesque quality, the highlight being the twin guitar attack. One of those records that would probably have been left in the racks but nowadays one of those records that all collectors would like to own.

6.5/10

Devil's Childe - Devil's Childe (1984)

Featuring members of Pentagram, Virgin Steele and Raven, Devil's Childe are a cavernous pit of morbid heavy metal, the type of album kids would have been scared to buy if they'd see this in the import racks. And they'd have a right to be scared - like Damien Thorne's bewitching 'The Sign Of The Jackyl', 'Devil's Child' boasts similar demons. The fuzzy guitars, and those hellish screams sound like this album was recorded in the very depths of Hades, doom-laden in every aspect, from the nightmarishly obscure vocals to the dungeon drums. The dense menacing fuzz of 'Beyond The Grave', the galloping thrash rhythm of 'Son Of A Witch', and the vampyric horror of 'Rain Of Terror'. Gothic and damp, Rocky Horror metal for those brave enough to frequent the graveyard on a dark and stormy night. Satan's legion would be most impressed.

7.5/10

Ripper - And The Dead Shall Rise (1986)

This is the type of record I wish I'd bought as a teenage metalhead - it woulda scared my parents and probably instilled a little bit of fear inside me too, and that's the point of this type of '80s metal. Blessed with a great album cover, Ripper are best described as a thrashing horror metal outfit, proper old school but drenched in fake blood. Darkly atmospheric, bewitching and of course extremely obscure, the band really knuckle down on side two, even with a decent cover of the Kiss cut 'Black Diamond'. Despite the image it's not all about ghoulish fun, Ripper, like Devil's Childe, have a knack of creating fierce, barn storming metal that only the '80s could have conjured up. As stuffy as a coffin and that riff on 'Metal Mission' reeks of Sabbath. The time of Ripper was brief but they left the Devil's mark.

8/10

Blackeyed Susan - Electric Rattlebone (1991)

Ho-hum! Considering this combo feature ex Britny Fox mainman Dean Davidson on lead vocals, I'm extremely disappointed and expected a lot more. Bad band name, bad album title, bad cover....can it get any worse ? Well, it's just all abit bluesy, sleazy in a Black Crowes type of way and I don't find this type of metal that interesting and can only handle it in small doses. 'Old Lady Snow' is probably my fave cut on the album, but I find myself skipping tracks too frequently, expecting something to at least slap me round the head rather than blow my socks off. It just doesn't go anywhere and seems content to sit on the porch and wonder if to make supper or not!

5/10

Eleven - Awake In A Dream (1992)

You can tell by the album title it's something whimsical, and you'd be right. This LA trio have a poor band name, but musically it's all quite floaty and nice and light, with a lot of soul and that sugary tinge which made Enuff Z Nuff so bloody great. Eleven aren't bloody great but they do provide the listener with enough sunshine to keep even the most glum of hearts warm. Extremely smooth going, the ears will be caressed for long after the and the honey tones of Alain Johannes will soak into the soul at ease. I'm not hearing Lenny Kravitz here but it does have that style of lazy, cool sway, in fact this album could have been a minor success with the right promotion, but alas, it was not to be Eleven, and so Eleven skip away into the heart of the chocolate forest contented in the fact they've made a few people smile.

7/10

The Beautiful - Storybook (1992)

Something on the bleak horizon twinkles like a star - yep, it's alterno-metal at its finest. An obscurity if you ask me, because let's face it, do you know who these guys are ? It all adds to the mystery, and of course it imploded pretty rapidly like a falling star, burning out into the darkness but embedding itself in the memory. The Beautiful are out of time, out of place, and probably from outer space. Imagine a mix of Jane's Addiction at their most wistful and the broody flowery sway of Saigon Kick. Ultra-cool without having to try, it manages to glint but always remain exquisite from a far and is happy to lace its edges with darkness. From the odd swing of 'Cocaine' the band launch into unpredictable stratospheres, combining melancholy with the most uplifting grooves imaginable. Of course, your mind will rarely stretch to such charmed plateau's which is why we always needed bands like The Beautiful, Saigon Kick, Liquid Jesus, blah blah....a circus of trooping fairies who jig from one stone to the next with their cauldron of secret sounds that no-one else is allowed to have. Never destined for radio, never destined to make money, bands like The Beautiful almost don't exist in any realm except their own. Special as well as beautiful. Come on in...

8/10

Vampyr - Cry Out For Metal (1985)

These guys are dressed like complete idiots, but they have a killer album title and play straight edge metal for keeps. Not bad considering it has such an amateurish feel, i.e. 'Warriors', but the record is saved by the guitar attack, quite dense and molten but lyrically and vocally all so inept. Trouble is, joke band Bad News probably modelled themselves on records like this. Always worth owning but to be played once every millennium!
5/10

Vyper - Afraid Of The Dark (1985)

This obscure EP has all the hallmarks of a minor masterpiece. Well produced and refreshing for a straight edged metal act, reminding me of Fastway's 'Trick Or Treat' with its atmosphere and pomp but graced with fantastic musicianship, the title cut an instant yet unknown hit if you ask me. 'Time Flies' features squealing guitars and tumbling drums and there's enough melody alongside meat to appeal to all headbanging freaks. Something so metal about it all and made even more mystical by the fact the band faded away like a great dream...

7/10

Sanctuary - Into The Mirror Black (1990)

Although vocal god Warrell Dane went on to greater heights with Nevermore, it's a real travesty that Sanctuary only made two albums. 'Into The Mirror...' being the latter of the two, their debut 'Refuge Denied' played a big part in my metal upbringing and 'Into...' sees the band progressing once more into icy waters, fusing classic metal with searing power thrash with a gothic edge. This is epic, clever metal that cuts like Metal Church, circa 'Blessing...', with the scathing riffs, Dane's shrill vocal attack and wonderfully crafted song structures. Sanctuary took metal to new heights if you ask me, always ahead of their game and without limit their brooding atmospheric style appealed across the board. Sanctuary never dated, were never out of time and yet didn't seem to get the credit they deserved but their two album legacy although brief, is mightily impressive.

8/10

The Force - Possessed By Metal (2008)

Sounds like old school metal but this recent affair attempts to bring the glory days back, as many thrash and modern metal acts are trying to do now. These South American's have a foot firmly in the past although the cover art is atrocious, musically this is a hybrid of Sepultura, Obituary (especially in the vocal department), old Slayer and old Death, but never once does it hold a candle to any of these. It's very much hyper mosh throughout, 'Thrash Til We Die', 'Overhand', have their formula's but there's nothing of any real note to enable this band to stand on their own two feet. It's great to have influences and to wear them on your sleeve but we don't need an imitation of the past because most of us would rather listen to our old albums rather than play this type of modern mimic. Decidedly amatuerish I'm afraid.

5/10

Krokus - Headhunter (1983)

Krokus have been around forever and have released about a million albums and not all of these are memorable, but 'Headhunter' is one of their essential records. Full on and steaming heavy metal with sizzling guitars and Marc Storace's almost thrashy Bon Scott vocal delivery delivered straight down the line. The cover alone symbolises what this record is all about, pure fire and ice at the same time, and guest appearances from Rob Halford aof priest and Cobra's Jimi Jamison. 'Headhunter' immediately slices into the brain with the impressive shredding of Von Arb and the rattling drums of Pace, and the band continue this pulsating metal for the next eight tracks. 'Eat The Rich', 'Screaming In The Night', 'Night Wolf', 'Stayed Awake All Night' you know the score...Krokus play hard metal and whilst other albums may not have exhibited the same high voltage style, 'Headhunter' provides the entertainment that all metal albums should. "Eat the rich, eat the rich...don't you know that life is a bitch", what more can you say as the band shuffle into an AC/DC mode of bluesy fused metal making 'Headhunter' for more orgasmic than one would expect.

8/10

Laaz Rockit - Nothing's Sacred (1991)

This is a pretty immense thrash record that rages far harder than anything by early Testament, Overkill etc. The chugging guitars of Jellum and Sargeant are the album highlight although the crushing thunder bass of Dominguez also rattles the skull. Coons' is far angrier vocally, the album lyrics touching heavily upon political issues, but what the band did better than most at the time was thrash really, really hard. Album opener 'In The Name Of The Father...' is a monster, fearsomely constructed and containing some great solo's, in fact the chunky groove reminds me of Mordred circa '91 with its grey and harsh atmosphere, think 'Falling Away' for ghetto thrash. Strangely this band passed me by at the time, mainly due to the fierce competition but listening back I find this to be really meaty and far more aggressive than one would imagine. Consistency is the key word and Laaz Rockit take no prisoners as 'Greed machine' and 'Suicide City' prove. Produced by Michael Rosen, you can imagine how crisp and crystal clear this sounds. 'Nothing's Sacred' is a very underrated thrash record that sits alongside Testament's 'Practice What You Preach' as a real dynamic experience that epitomises such a great time.

8/10

Damien Thorne - The Sign Of The Jackal (1986)

Damien Thorne is metal from the most claustrophobic basement. Thrashy, gothic, rattling, clanking and dark that exists as some type of dazzling hybrid of Mercyful Fate, Sanctuary and any evil blob that dares to scurry from the crypt. Maybe it's the cool lyrics, searing guitars and distinctive high vocals that give this record such a satanic edge, I dunno, but in its sincerity it paints such a pitch black picture amid the clattering drums. 'Escape Or Die', 'Fear Of The Dark', and the title cut are so obscure in nature but brilliant too, writhing from under the cemetery gates like some noxious fog that the world left behind. Justin Fate's vocals simply add to the eerie atmosphere. Reminds me of those other geeky weirdo's Deliverance in the way it simply exists as some type of clandestine force never to be discovered my man. Gloomy but in a good way.

7.5/10

Heavy Pettin - Rock Ain't Dead (1985)

Terrible band name. Awful album title. Bad cover. Is it the soft focus ? Or the fact the guys on the front look like the type of metaller you'd rather slap than want to be. Musically it's pretty much the same although I won't be too harsh. Heavy Pettin' play a mediocre, lightweight metal which if anything would kill rock and not fight for it. It's half decent at the best of times, Def Leppard with a bit more energy I guess, 'Walking With Angels' quite uplifting and 'Soul Survivor' adds some pomp, but vocally there is a slight strain on the ear. Considered new wave metal at the time, but the last band you'd want fighting your corner in the name of rock.

5/10

Mass - Metal Fighter (1983)

C'mon and rock German style. More obscure metal from the golden age. Cuts such as 'Fire From Hell' deserve to be introduced into the metal hall of fame, but so many bands of this ilk would have faded into obscurity. Now, I know that Maiden, Priest, Kiss, made metal huge, but it's stuff like this and Cobra, Vyper, etc, which provide the obscure foundations which us curious metalheads seek down in the gloomiest pit time and time again. At time this is volcanic metal with balls of steel that deserves so much more than being confined to some collector's shelf. Even the low budget 'High Hell Thrills' packs a punch that few bigger bands have possessed. This is hungry, atmospheric, genuine and powerful metal that never reached the masses. This one of those bands whose albums were worth the money even if just for the cover!

7/10

Saxon - Destiny (1988)

When this opus emerged I felt the urge to avoid it - maybe it was the non-metal cover and the polished sound. It was as if Saxon were aiming for the US market with this almost pompous style of rock, littered with keyboards (or do they call it synth guitar!!) and Biff's almost strutting yet corny vocal style. Some big anthem's here blessed with those pouting choruses, the steamy 'Ride Like The Wind' not exactly the new 'Denim & Leather', 'Destiny' sounds like it was with late night American radio in mind. Strangely, I find the band more compelling than ever now but back then they soon became a laughing stock - not sure why - maybe it was tracks like 'Song For Emma' which put the metalheads off, and as thrash, death metal and alterno metal waited round the corner, this type of rock seemed to stiff big time. I guess Saxon couldn't have won whatever race they'd run, their almost old fashioned denim rock was dated, and their new brand seemed to hint at the commercial - but more than twenty years later 'Destiny', like all their other albums, somehow refuses to date in my opinion. It's straight down the line rock, just check out the driving 'Where The Lightning Strikes', although some may argue that all of this is somewhat laced with a softer edge, and they'd be right, but Saxon have stood the test of time, and many of these times were harsh, and they've emerged as a bit of a British metal institution, and god bless them for it.

7/10

Britny Fox - Britny Fox (1988)

Britny Fox didn't exactly make waves when they came out of the sleaze metal traps. I always liked the cover for some strange reason, even if it's just a whole lotta hairspray and pout. Put aside the image and Britny Fox do play a vibrant brand of hard rock which revolves around 'Dizzy' Dean Davidsons almost harsh vocal delivery which brings fellow glamsters Cinderella to mind. Musically it's more than adequate, amid those anthems ('Girlschool', 'Kick n Fight') there are some sterling guitars courtesy of Michael Kelly Smith and whilst the lyrics have an almost naive qaulity to them, the songs are still well structured even if it's all rather formulaic. The cover of Slade's 'Gudbuy T'Jane' seems a little pointless considering there is only ten tracks on the record anyway, but the rest make for pretty decent listening. The band know how to write a catchy tune, 'Long Way To Love' has hints of G 'n' R (especially the vocal) and the strutting leather of say Whitesnake. Of its time indeed and yet a couple of decades later it still sounds good on the ears. Mock 'hair metal' all you like but some bands and their songs were actually built to last and Britny Fox were one of them.

7/10

Helix - Wild In The Streets (1987)

'87 was a great time to be involved in metal, whether as a fan or as a band. Party metal was at an all time high, and Helix delivered in that department. Imagine a crotch-grabbing mix of Twisted Sister, with elements of Crue and slot a bit of Van Halen, Kiss etc, alongside it and Helix might just get you by the pool with a Martini. Not as corny as you may think, there are some really catchy numbers on here, the title cut, the drivin' 'Shot Full Of Love', the rattling 'Kiss It Goodbye' and anthemic 'Never Gonna Stop The Rock'. Yeah it's all a bit cliched but I'm not gonna loose sleep over that because bands like Helix are clear in their direction and statement. The cover of 'Dream On' is halfway cool but the whole album is beefed up by the rather fiery vocal rasp of Brian Vollmer and kick ass axe attack of Doctor Doerner and Paul Hackman. 'Wild...' will naturally sound a little dated many decades later but the fact it's very much of its time gives us metalheads a great nostalgic trip to when music was all hairspray, fireworks and chicks, and that's how the kids always imagined it. Helix won't change her your life but it makes me happier having them in it. Quality, albeit typical '80s metal cover.
7/10