Saxon - Call To Arms (2011)

Holy smokin' metal, this is Saxon's nineteenth record, that's unreal...and despite years in the grunge wilderness, they still keep hammering at the door, and someone has got to let them in. Saxon's last batch of records have been high quality metal, matching their classics from the times of yore, Biff is on steaming form and his band of young upstarts are keen to get down to what they do best - crafting solid frameworks of cold steel. You have no right to slag this type of album off, because with Saxon you know what you're getting, but this isn't the pomp of 'Destiny', this is a cry for war, a march into babylon, and indeed, a call to arms, from that slow burning serpent 'Back In 79' to the full throttle 'Surviving Against The Odds', a track which pretty much sums of the career of these dogs of war. I guess some cynics always saw these guys as the Status Quo of metal but that's not the case, 'Call...' isn't a plodding, dull as dishwater record, the superb 'Chasing The Bullet' is furious but check out the monstrous 'Afterburner' with its thrashing guitars and the doom-laden riffs of 'No Rest For The Wicked'. I'm glad Saxon exist and the beast is somehow getting stronger.

7.5/10

Evile - Five Serpent's Teeth (2011)

The leader's of the thrash revival manage to bridge the gap between Metallica circa 'Master...' and Slayer, producing a meaty, chugging, and at times ferocious thrash record. Evile are happy to pay homage to the past as long as their own brand of powerage works, the first two cuts on the record - the title cut and 'In Dreams Of Terror' certainly live up to expectation, but I'm finding myself bored by the Metallica, circa 'And Justice...' plod of 'Cult' and feel that Evile are better when the dynamics become faster and more complex, 'Origin Of Oblivion' bringing to mind the Bay Area fury of Exodus. I'm guessing many fans will see 'Five...' as a natural progression but I'd rather not hear Metallica imitation ('In Memoriam') and instead prefer the almost King Diamond melody of 'Descent Into madness'. For me, Evile are indeed the leaders of the new breed but I can take it or leave it, finding myself absorbed for certain tracks then bored by others. I often wonder how these guys would have fared if they'd existed back in the '80s, and whilst that's all rather hypothetical, I don't see hardly any of the modern bands truly encapsulating the '80s thrash dynamics. Evile's debut, 'Enter The Grave' was a much needed rocket up the arse for today's thrash metal, but this isn't as essential as many would have you believe.

6.5/10

Michael Monroe - Sensory Overdrive (2011)

Once a rock star always a rock star - shame Nikki Sixx couldn't have enlisted someone like Monroe for the Sixx AM albums, 'Sensory...' is a high octane glam rock n roll stomper as one would expect, no big thrills, just good, ol' fashioned balls to the wall metal, boosted by Ginger's driving guitar and a guest appearance by the mighty Lemmy. Monroe has always had the ability to produce batches of high quality and incredibly catchy tracks, no change here, 'Center Of Your Heart' and 'Bombs Away', classy, short tracks delivered to the maximum. Monroe has always been an underrated musician but his place in metal history was cemented long ago and it's cool that he kinda exists under the radar whilst always putting out strong records. Of course, Monroe shoulda been huge considering the amount of people Hanoi Rocks influenced, but as it is, get your glittery hands on this thirty-or so minute opus and you won't be disappointed. Cool cover too.

7/10

Crucified Barbara - Til Death Do Us Party (2009)

Good album title, and of course, if the band are on the cover it's gonna be a cool cover too! One of the best, or at least my fave female metal acts, who, like the monstrous Meldrum, have the ability to rock heavy with attitude aplenty and some monolithic riffs which kick straight in on opener 'Killer On His Knees'. Vocally, I love female vocalists who've got a bit of raw oomph and I can't knock Mia Coldheart's aggressive rasp. My only issue about the record is that it has a very clean modern feel, not a bad thing, but I'd love to hear these gals with a rawer, grittier producer who brings out the sleazier side. 'Creatures' and 'Jennyfer' prime examples of this, because although they are solid, heavy rock tracks, in their melody they exist as rather one dimensional, but I'm loving the straight laced, balls to the wall entries such as 'Can't Handle Love' and 'Danger Danger', and that's what CB do best. Always room for improvement, but they have crafted themselves into a nifty outfit.

7.5/10

Loud n' Nasty - Teaser Teaser (2005)

Okay, so a majority of glam/sleaze bands, especially those today, have godawful names, but in keeping with the '80s hair metal hullabaloo, Loud n' Nasty have kept this dirty enough for it to work. File alongside Crazy Lixx, Crash Diet, et al, for that seemingly sincere and understanding of all the hairspray acts that have gone before. There are some killer guitar solo's on here, all very much nodding to the weightier side of bands such as Crue. Naturally, it can start to grate and will have you putting on your original '80s records, but I've heard far worse and in this day and age of drivel and dross such as Snow Patrol and Coldplay, it's great to hear bands gettin' sleazy and also great that there's a scene too. The biggest issue with this type of revival metal is when it doesn't work - as in the case of so many watery thrash bands and glam bands who end up sounding too pop, but although these guys aren't exactly loud or particularly nasty, it deserves a few spins. Rock on boys...

6.5/10

Peep Show - Out For Blood (2009)

Hard to believe that these guys are from Scotland - with all due respect, and also hard to believe this is a fairly recent release and not something confined to the grim caverns of the '80s. 'Out For Blood' is a sweating bloodfest of a record that combines the glorious glam gore of W.A.S.P., and the strut of old leathery Crue, and all with elements of class and taste, without resorting to the cheese. This is a pretty heavy record, full of tough riffs, clanking drums and dense vocals, never once relegating itself to overt cliche, but instead being fired up by the true spirit of '80s metal. This sort of stuff seems to be popular in Sweden at the moment with bands like Crash Diet and Nasty Idols bringing it back from the dead as such, but these Scots rock too, pumping out the anthems with razor sharp intensity. 'I Want You', the title cut, 'Teenage Nightmare', and 'A Nice Night To Die' all hail the deadly dungeon master of classic metal. Vicious and venomous this is a debut for all you wicked worshippers who like their glam down and dirty.

7/10

Christy McCool - Lovelier Than The Queen Of England (1991)

Another early '90s funk-o-metal act succumb to 'badnameritis' disease! Mind you, Christy McCool aren't as bad as most of the funk metal acts I've heard, these guys at times opting for more diverse approaches and without too much cheese, but again, it's all rather light weight and sugary, but a nice touch with the female vocals which combine nicely with Tom Tree's awkward style. 'Mofo' has a breezy Scatterbrain style funkiness - not sure that's a good thing, but again, vocally there's variation from choppy raps to scratchy rasps, but I'm diggin' the dirty fuzz grunge of 'Neal's Deals...' and the mellow acoustics of pot-induced 'Leaves On Trees', whilst 'Mother Mary' plays out like some psych mantra. All good fun without grating on the nerves.

5.5/10

Scary Mother - Tai Laeo (1994)

Symphonic grunge anyone ? This is an obscure find, and a cracking lil' record if you can get hold of it. Something uncannily sinister about this weirdo-sty;e grunge that reeks of Alice In Chains, My Sister's Machine only with avant-garde orchestration and doom-laden vocals. 'Puke' combines strange, stirring, atmospheric keys with a sincere brooding, those gravelled vocals provide the uneasy edge as do the spooky dynamics. This band live up to their name with a record consumed by mystery - the superb 'Lord Of The Flies' has a killer quagmire doom riff, there are the ominous keyboards and the oddly catchy 'Who Are You ?'. Here is a band with a deep cauldron who like to stir it with an almighty stick, goodness knows what spells will be cast from this hocus pocus, toil and trouble, but witch cult leader Andrew Gillespie clearly proves that Alice In Chains were merely a wet lettuce, Scary Mother instead preferring to loiter in the murky depths of what we loosely call grunge, but instead of opting for the foppish fringe have decided on a dark cloud of English Goth and moody weight. Good stuff.

7.5/10

Powerman 5000 - Mega!! Kung Fu Radio (1997)

Look past the dodgy album title and the fact it emrged at a time when metal was six feet deep, also, if you're a die hard metal head then listen beyond the choppy rap-rock, and you'll discover a half-decent band who somehow manage to combine the groove monster riffs of White Zombie, the funk out chops and angst of Faith No More, the killer chords of Machine Head, and just about anything streetwise. This is bruising stuff that can lead you in by the way of a lazy, drooled vocal - '20 Miles To Texas...' and then batter you over the head with a barrage of urban angst. Diverse without going overboard, this would have no doubt pleased fans of say Biohazard, but as a record it was too cool to reach any type of heights, instead it wallowed in Coolsville, the place for all the best bands. This record smokes in so many ways, whether through its deep rooted power rock or its almost nonchalant ability to rap. Hard to fully pin it down because whilst it is happy as a beast to combine both styles, it's also more than happy to stick to one style for one track etc. This is the sort of album that would have passed me by if I'd been narrow minded enough to judge it by the image, but thankfully I got my hooks into it and don't find it half as bad as the year it came out suggested it should be. Mind you, it was either this or fuckin' Korn!

7.5/10

Po'Boy Swing - Lite & Sweet (1994)

I think these guys have been listening to too much faith No More, especially the vocalist who seems to spend most of his time aping the vocal genius of Mike Patton, circa 'The Real Thing'. Unusual to hear funk metal past 1993, and for some reason however much I want to get annoyed with this....I can't, it's actually not bad, but completely lacking originality. The funk-o-metal groove is very much Mordred, Chili Peppers and of course FNM...in fact it's so FNM I can't really write anything else, 'Not Fade Away' has the Patton sway, complete with trigger funky bass, metallic drums aka Gannon Hall and lashings of soul rather than silly moments. Even so, there are the irritating moments, Jamiroquai bubblegum funker 'Baby Make Me Feel', but despite the imitation the guy has a nice sultry tone, but can you handle it ? If this had emerged in the late '80s or around 1990/91 I'd have probably sicked my guts up, but as it exists away from the funk fad I'm willing to give it an extra mark, but there's still no reason for it to exist.

5/10

Poison - Look What The Cat Dragged In (1986)

Seems a long time ago these lady boys hit the scene and I still think this is their best record although I tend to play 'Open Up...' alot more. Now considered one of the most important glam metal acts ever, if not the most important, back in the days thrash metallers and death-heads spat venomously at this hairspray hokum, and yet these guys went on to sell out arena's and sell millions of records, and not just based on image alone. Sure, it was a little lightweight at times, the bubblegum pop vocal twang of blond bombshell Michaels, the rather watery axe attack off C.C. and those alley cat scratching, glam rock poppin', cowboy boot leather struttin' lipstick swaggering song titles. Big on the cheese at times, I much preferred the raw, clattering attack of early Crue, but Poison would spawn a thousand imitators and not many, if any could match the soap opera these guys created. I admit that I still have to turn this up to 50 on the stereo before I start to get any type of oomph, but then again the albums that followed seemed even weaker, which is strange considering this was the bands most toxic in regards to hairspray fumes. 'Talk Dirty To Me' the teenage anthem of backseat love!

7/10

Steel Panther - Balls Out (2011)

For me, novelty music, in any shape or form, never has the legs to last, but in the case of Steel Panther this, for the moment anyway, is a beast running wild in the streets. In support of Motley Crue and Def Leppard they blew minds, and their brand of '80s inspired party metal is going from strength to strength, and for what it produces in gimmicks, thankfully doesn't outweigh its ability to rock. Steel Panther are funny guys, heavy metal comedians, they have the look and the stage act to woo the girls and rock the boys - made it's more than just Spinal Tap and their success story keeps on raging. They exist as the ideal band to open up a party or any big metal gig, and they can write songs to, but naturally with a huge nod, and the occasional borrowed riff or melody from '80s bands such as Bon Jovi, Def Leppard etc. The lyrics as always are crude, the choruses hair-metal heaven and the image 100% nostalgia, but beneath the cheeky smiles are decent musicians who are not just happy to exist as a joke band. 'Balls Out' is the bands latest offering, party metal to the hilt, boosted by hilarious power ballads, killer riffs and that wicked sleeve. All in all ya kinda know what to expect, but hey, some '80s bands made a living outta this sort of stuff and were nowhere near as good - give me Steel Panther over Warrant or Ratt any day. '...Tiger Woods', etc will rock your cocks off!

7/10

Electric Boys - Groovus Maximus (1992)

I always enjoyed the sultry, chocolate-covered rock of Electric Boys, but anyone who has words such as 'Groovus' or uses the word funk ('Bad Motherfunker') in song titles needs a reality check. The Electric Boys often produced quality slabs of slightly alterno-rock, one part Aerosmith swagger, the next a touch of say Extreme, and the terribly titled' Groovus...' is no exception. 'Mary In The Mystery World' is a fine example of Beatles-esque swirl, and the best cut on the platter, and with Bloom's voice at the helm it's always going to be a wholesome experience, but at the tail end of metal's reign bands of this ilk were surplus to requirements, the funk metal fad had disappeared up its on arse and any band, such as EB, were always a fading star. As I said, these type of bands always constructed half decent tracks and filling albums, but it's not the sort of stuff you'd play time and time again, or even a few times a year, the funky overdose and its eagerness to mix colours made too many metalheads giddy and those daft album covers drove one too many nails in metal's coffin lid.

6.5/10