The Last Vegas - Whatever Gets You Off (2009)

Seeing as Beautiful Creatures seem intent on releasing infrequent albums and Young Heart Attack have dissolved into my pool of tears, I've been searching for a modern band to heal the pain. Buckcherry have filled a gap, and now we have The Last Vegas. I saw that DJ Ashba and Nikki Sixx had their names connected to the band so thought I'd check 'em out and I wasn't disappointed. The problem is of course, it's a difficult game being rock 'n' roll without sounding a) corny, b) completely unoriginal. Once you've heard Zeppelin and the Stones, you know that anything after is gonna borrow heavily from one or both of these. Even so, blood, sweat and tears rock 'n' roll can still work, and The Last Vegas appear to have got it right. 'Whatever Gets...' has all the traits that endeared Young Heart Attack to me. Okay, so there's no sultry female vocal attack, but we do get something that maintains its energy and never falls into a retro plod. The title cut is a stormer which reminds me of AC/DC mixed with the Stones, pure swagger in Chad Cherry's vocals. Refreshing, in your face...a bit like a modern Fastway, especially on 'I'm Bad' whilst Aerosmith and Crue get a nod on the swaggering 'Love Me Bad'.

Many would argue that it's all been done before, but that's not the point. If it causes a shake then I'm game. 'Apologise' is straight up '80s hair metal ballad, partly penned by Nikki Sixx and DJ Ashba who it seems are to blame for finding this superb band. The album is capable of breathing arrogance, walking with pout. Cool riffs, ballsy anthems, nothing to boozy or monotonous. Certainly the easiest comparison to make would be Buckcherry who've made a career out of AC/DC riffs and sexual swagger, and that's what matters when it comes to playin' stripped down rock 'n' roll.

Leave the kids to the Green Day shite, and get yourself a dose of The Last Vegas.

8.5/10

Blackfish - Blackfish (1993)

Mmmm, where do we start with this lost gem ? Well, the early '9s were a bad time for anything heavy metal. Real, hard-hittin', Satan suckin' metal was out the window, thrash had disappeared underground, and every mug that wore denim was now either cowering in a cave or selling their soul to cut-off trouser grunge. Alterno-metal had died a quick death, better to burn out than to fade away I guess. Blackfish certainly fizzled out fast, but this debut album is another of those records that can be filed along so many other cool and cute alterno-metal records.

There's nothing really alternative on offer, but the thirteen tracks have that lost feeling. It flirts with a light grunge, it appreciates glam, and it straddles bubblegum party rock and power pop. 'Fall' is a little sleazy with a Mother Love Bone edge, vocally uplifting, all quite summery, cheerful, breezy and cool. 'I Don't Care' and 'The Only One' folllow suit into obscurity, making little whimpers as like so many other cool rock bands, they crawl back under the stone they originally emerged from. Blackfish could be sons of Cheap Trick and Enuff Z Nuff, especially on the light-hearted 'As Easy As Saying Goodbye', and the lighters come out for 'If I', and the wafer-thin groves of 'Down For The Count' and 'I Wanna Know', won't quite get you bemused like some alterno rock bands, but after a few listens you'll be glad you came across this sugary, uptempo rock record.

7/10

Black Sabbath - Dehumanizer (1992)

Proof at last that the early '90s weren't a complete grunge shambles. Sadly, anything other than grunge in the early '90s seemed dismissed so easily by critics. The reality is, when you find the heart to look back over that period, you'll seem some incredibly under-rated albums which were criminally ignored. I for one can be blamed for not giving '90s Sabbath recognition. Ronnie James Dio was back in the fray, and 'Dehumanizer' was a cracking heavy metal album that didn't sound out of place and stomped on the skulls of Pearl Jam and the likes who were boring me rigid with their non-metallic rock.

I am an Ozzy purist who believes that Sabbath's records back in the day are unsurpassable, but I was so naive to think that anything they released after Ozzy was a negative. I'm more appreciative now of the Dio-fronted Sabbath records, and 'Dehumanizer' has all the hallmarks of another very admirable Sabbath record. 'Computer God' immediately proves as to why Sabbath are still relevant during a time when kids were casting true metal aside. Dio's vocals have always had a magical quality and there's proof here that it's not always about goblins and dungeons! The riffs are as true as steel and match anything from 'Mob Rules' and 'Heaven...', and the sheer weight of some of these cuts will leave the room shaking. Check out the monolithic 'After All...', and solid 'Letter From Earth'. 'I' is another chugger of the highest order.

Ten quality heavy metal tracks make for a real slab of an album which varies in temp, but never loses its focus. The closer 'Buried Alive' would have, if recognised, left the '90s as a pile of ash, but due to the ignorance and the creation of 'scenes', this type of stuff was made to seem dated, even though it sounds as fresh now as it ever did, whilst a majority of grunge bands couldn't fill an album.

'Dehumanizer' is not only a fine heavy metal record, it's a fine Black Sabbath album, and that's a great thing to accomplish.

8/10

Melvins - The Bride Screamed Murder (2010)

The Melvins veer to the left of metal, but remain almost as heavier as any doom band in their twisted world. For those of you who are familiar with this act, you'll find it a very decent opus, but for those of you who aren't, you still may find something dirty to savour. Imagine a combination of the grimiest grunge band, a superglue C.O.C., a dirty Sabbath, and a bit of black thrash surrealism thrown in. 'Inhumanity...' is a metallic face-ripper, 'Evil Never...', a quicksand virus, and 'I'll Finish You Off' straight forward cosmic sludge.

The Melvins have worked with some of rock's most innovative people, and they are regarded highly. However, it's not metal as such, but they are a band which occupy some remote cabin far in the woods where only few dare to tread. not strictly weird, but obscure in its meaning, yet at times monolithic in its riffage. It will leave your ears smouldering and your backside melted to the chair, because it's well soiled, oily, black and ill-fumed rock 'n' roll that'll leave you coughing up moss.

7/10

Vince Neil - Tattoos & Tequila (2010)

An open letter to Vince Neil: - Vince. We love you in Crue, however cheesy you are. Your solo career isn't all that good, but why oh why release an album of cover songs ? Sure, it's cool when artists are influenced by lots of bands and they want to give them a nod, but a whole album of cover versions just isn't my thing, and judging by this record, it's not your thing either! We know you like Cheap Trick, Aerosmith, blah blah...but I really don't want to hear you singing 'Who Will Stop The Rain' or 'Viva Las Vegas'. I'll give you credit where credit's due in that you've made a few tracks seem like your own, or should I say, Motley Crue b-sides. 'He's A Whore' and 'AC/DC' are passable, and the title cut is okay, with typical Vince vocal whine, and bubblegum rock riffs, even the Sixx penned 'Another Bad Day' is okay, well it should be as it's a discarded Crue track, but whether this is a personal record or not, it still has to be reviewed. there's nothing here that makes me want to play this album more than once, and the first time is a struggle enough.

It's hairy, hairsprayed, loungin' by the pool, Hawaiian shirt-wearing Vince rock....and that ain't a good thing. You belong in Crue where your voice fits, I don't want to hear songs (and not all of them being decent tracks anyway) covered to death. Rod Stewart and the likes do it, and it usually means you're over the hill but yet something deep inside (ego?) tells you that it's possible to recreate, or cover with adequacy the originals. But as is evident here. It doesn't work....sorry dude. It's Dave Lee Roth all over again!

4/10

Ozzy Osbourne - Scream (2010)

Okay, so Ozzy finally reaches his tenth studio record. His life is pretty much a soap opera, but then again most famous rock stars lives are. 'Scream' is his first album for ten years, and at the time of writing he is putting on an Ozzfest...but oh no, what is happening, Korn, and Murderdolls are slapped on the support list which gets me wondering. Is Ozzy simply existing as a manufactured start, all too eager to please the Kerrang! readership who have pretty much never heard of metal, but instead follow these sadly, watered down bands ?

I don't know if Ozzy's even capable of writing songs anymore, let alone singing them, although we all know that the guy is far different on stage than he is on his sofa. The trouble is, Ozzy is a household name for all the wrong reasons nowadays. I remember the days when parents were terrified of the alleged bat-biting Satanist, but now it's just cute ol' Ozzy, managed by his wife. The last Ozzy album I really liked was 'No Rest For The Wicked', since then it's been patchy, nu-metal influenced, manufactured rock. 'Scream' is no different. It begins with a chug-fest, courtesy of Gus G, but when you listen back to the glory days of 'Blizzard...' and 'Bark...', you wonder why Ozzy would go down this more cleaner, bereft path, instead of getting in a brilliant guitarist for one more jaunt.

'Fearless', 'Let It Die', and 'Soul Sucker' try oh so hard to be heavy, and in a way they are, but the dynamics reek of a coldness, and lack the smoking fire's of Ozzy evil we once became accustomed too. Like so many tired bands, Ozzy has failed to re-invent himself, and whilst W.A.S.P., Motley Crue, continue to rock, without sounding tired, Ozzy continues in his attempts at keeping the nu-metal kids happy. There are no metal anthems here, and token lighter-waver, 'Time' just bores. For God's, or Satan's sake Ozzy, get back to what you know best because one day it'll be too late. To be honest, I'd rather Ozzy just tour the old hits to death, because let's face it, anything he's released in the last ten years just doesn't stand up to the classics.

We love Ozzy dearly, but the guy probably has everything written for him, gets in the studio, and vomits a few vocals, which are clearly layered and full of effects, and we get a similar sounding records to the last one. 'Down To Earth', 'Black Rain', 'Scream'...it's one long Ozzfest but one which plods along for the sake of it. 'Let Me Hear You Scream' is the token first single, and it's dire.

So, 'Scream' is as I expected, but as usual, I had to hear it for my self. We know Ozzy is over the hill, but he's a genuine guy who changed our lives. However, he's being paraded like a puppet. It's enough to make you want to scream...

5/10

Danzig - Dethred Sabaoth (2010)

Evil Elvis is back, and this time...it's still dark! Adorned in another semi-comic Gothic sleeve, 'Dethred...' is sharper, and less dense than recent fave '...Satans Child'. The chaotic opener 'Hammer Of The Gods' sees the band caustic, and tight, messed by the punkoid chorus, and there's a feeling here that Mr Danzig is up to his old tricks, recalling the glory days of the band with an oily approach. The Devil's music indeed! Somehow countless bands attempt to conjure demons with their wicked ways but oh so effortlessly, and time and time again, Danzig digs deep into the closet of skeletons and brings forth another cauldron of blasphemic sleaze. 'The Revengeful' isn't too far removed from old Danzig, and Glen's rather hoarse vocal wheeze has gone, this time the king of darkness returns to the slick, black tones of the debut record which now seems so long ago.

Slow-burner 'Rebel Spirits' is a deadly nightshade of a track, and musically the band concoct dark fairy tales and devilish comic-book graphics, all the while their leader spins a planchette over a freshly made Ouija board. This is real heavy metal, black leather, overtly Gothic, and confirmed by my fave cut, 'Black Candy'.

Hard to fault the guy really, despite what purists may say, this is what we except from a Danzig album. Sure, in the past some experimentation has taken place, but the guy has every right. The black country twang of 'On A Wicked Night' has a rural eeriness to it whilst the album closer 'Left Hand Rise Above' wouldn't seem out of place on a David Lynch movie soundtrack. It's all dust, cobwebs and dried blood...

Danzig create gloomy pits which echo to the sound of their creeping rock 'n' roll. Tighter than a nun's vagina, 'Dethred...' is perfect Halloween fodder to keep the trick or treating kids from the door.

At once menacing but still hip-shaking in that special unholy Danzig way. My only quib being that at times the vocal mix appears too loud for the musical backdrop, although known Mr Danzig, this was probably on purpose, because as we know, Satan does like to make himself clear.

8/10