L.A. Guns - L.A. Guns (1988)

These guys shoulda shared the same limelight as Guns 'n' Roses but it never happened. A whole career as a good rockin' sleaze band but nothing more, 'Sex Action' snaps at the heels of Motley Crue, the spiralling 'Electric Gypsy' is certainly where Love/Hate came from, and there's no doubt that Tracii Guns, who founded Guns 'n' Roses with Axl, is a talented guitarist, but this kind of poppy, one-dimensional rock 'n' roll leaves a bitter taste. Predictable choruses, the occasional swagger ('Bitch Is Back'), the lighter-waving anthem ('Cry No More' leading into 'One Way Ticket'), it's all here, but it's not enough for me, lacking the sheer leathery menace of 'Too Fast For Love' and overall quality of 'Appetite For Destruction'.

In the end, it's still sincere rock 'n' roll I guess but it leaves me feeling empty.

6/10

Bulletboys - Bulletboys (1990)

Sure, rather predictable party metal, somewhere between AC/DC and bombastic sleaze rock, but it's good for the hips and lips. Fronted by the soulful croon of Marq Torien, Bulletboys had the ability to shake things up although back in the day such a record would have swept by the wayside as acts such as Kik Tracee and Love/Hate destroyed the field of pretenders. Even so, this has a refreshing quality to it even if its not mind-expanding music. Opener 'Hard As A Rock' is as expected, straight down the line rock 'n' roll and the terribly titled 'Smooth Up In Ya' is hair metal at its most hairsprayed, but the musicianship is sweet, the production big, and Van Halen would have been worried about a few of the imitations! Certainly too much of this kind of stuff is noneducational and actually vomit inducing, but if you have the occasional day when your brain needs a rest and body simply requires a good shake, then 'Crank It Up' and 'Badlands' will provide a quick fix.

6.5/10

Buckcherry - Buckcherry (1999)

Whilst lacking the shining class of the '15' opus, this debut caused a slight stir in the US, but was completely ignored in the UK which is understandable considering this kind of bar room rock 'n' roll was invented here many decades ago. Even so, this record is still worthy of inclusion, containing more swagger than Velvet Revolver, Guns 'n' Roses and all the other bloated rich boys, fronted by Josh Todd who really has a sexual growl worth hearing. The chorus of 'Lit Up' is one for the censors as Todd bellows "I love the cocaine", and whilst the track kicks in good and proper it's not until the fourth track, 'Dirty Mind' that the band get low down and dirty, an oily semi-ballad, whilst 'Borderline' is pure Black Crowes twanging.

Buckcherry do have a knack of hitting the big chorus lines which makes the band more the fun and more the accessible. Too many other acts appear to have a forced swagger but as debut records go, 'this self-titled rocker will appeal to the tattooed ladies and whiskey drinking men, but if anything, it's more bubblegum rock ('Get Back') and middle of the road hard rock ('Baby') than all out drunken brawl.

7/10

Nocturnus - The Key (1990)

During the late '80s and early '90s alot of American death metal bands sounded the same, bolstered by the production of Morrisound Studios, a time when the scene was saturated with similar sounding bands, meaning that anything worthy usually became lost in the sea of imitation. Nocturnus are best listened to now, instead of back then. Despite the usual death metal trademarks, and the fact that the band somehow managed to look bloody awful on the inner sleeve in comparison to most of the other bands. Also, the keyboards peppering the record originally didn't make for good listening, but a few decades later 'The Key' has stood the test of time, a raging slab of a record akin to a more cosmic Morbid Angel, kickstarted by the horror synth opening and chug-a-go-go of 'Lake Of Fire' which is Slayer with a UFO sound effect as the riffs break through, all the while laced with a strange buzzing from the keys. This pretty much sums up 'The Key' a reasonably heavy death metal record from another Florida-based band, but with some decent effects to smother the blandness. Drummer and vocalist Browning is reasonably hectic over the guitar twiddlings of McNenney and Davis, and the complex structures certainly make the album far more interesting than a majority of bands from the time. Unfortunately hidden behind a rather dour cover, 'The Key' still rises above mediocrity.

7/10

Ratt - Dancing Undercover (1986)

Ratt broke big after 'Out Of The Cellar' but disappointed on 'Invasion Of Your Privacy', in fact, their whole career was one of underachievement, the band slinking out of the West Coast like glam-rock spiders, but never reaching the success of Motley Crue, but instead remaining a watered down, always unfulfilling experience. 'Dancing...' hardly kicks in with the polished 'Dance', pretty boy Stephen Pearcy gets no marks for his pouting, and 'One Good Lover' may have been perfect for the ladies at the back, but the swagger, or should I say lack of, is evident as the outfit swish through ten tracks without causing any hotel room damage. 'Body Talk' attempts some kind of aggression but the chorus is appalling, and I'll be forever condemning the band and their almost naive outlook. Of course, Crue were as easily to blame as 'Girls Girls Girls' and 'Theatre Of Pain' made the band look traitors to their early classics, but for me Ratt never got off on the right foot, but they deserve a place because as a kid I remember seeing their records everywhere and that should have influenced me to become a fan, but it didn't. What it did do was make me realise that no-one in the UK was falling for such pussy footin'.

5/10

Limbomaniacs - Stinky Grooves (1990)

Oh no, more funk for ya trunk. Limbomaniacs were hot on the heels of fifty-million other funk-metal acts in the early '90s, chowing down on the slap bass tickle, the skuzzy jerk flip-flop guitar work and of course, the white-boy antics courtesy of frontman Mirv...all rather familiar, stupid lyrics aplenty, lotsa props given for the Peppers, Bootsy Collins and all manner of funk boy fury, but this has to be one of the most dated of metal genre's, even the grim, non-sound of evil black metal remains more progressive than this sickly carnival. Limbomaniacs served up a dish that tasted quite sweet at first but after a few seconds you'll be begging the waiter for a refund. Fans of the funk-metal fiasco often wondered why the trend never lasted more than two years, well, the answers is because of bands like this whose ideas were more suited to a cartoon strip than a record. Awful band name, awful album title, awful cover.

4/10

Spiders & Snakes - Melodrama (2007)

Don't really know what to make of these guys to be honest. Often, and once touted as rock 'n' roll's next big thing, it's taken years, and several albums to do nothing at all, and upon hearing 'Melodrama' I can't help but feel this is a band with talent, but too much corniness in their sound to really be appreciated. Vocally, it's almost out of tune with the music which is a hybrid of summery '60s melody and hard rock, the band producing several numbers that bring to mind The Rolling Stones, but if you want your music retro yet still touching then try Enuff Z Nuff. It's a fine line between influence and imitation, and I can't see what Spiders & Snakes are doing here, in the UK a track like 'Shoot Me Down' would be cast aside as pop candy, and the strut of 'Yesterdays Hero' is awkward, the band offering up something akin to '80s cheesy glam mixed with The Sweet, probably the only band who could get away with such glittery massages.

I'm aware of the band's catalogue, but there's just too many songs here all too eager to steal from the '60s swagger but in the case of 'Kicks' or shuffle of 'Friends Like You', I'm detecting a rather embarrassing element to it all, as if the band want to believe they are true rock 'n' rollers but all I'm hearing is cliche. This is more '80s Alice Cooper circa 'Trash' than New York Dolls and the finale of 'Forever' is like a bad tribute to The Beatles. Get another singer.

4/10