Mr Bungle - OU818 (1989)

Long before the dogshit funk metal brigade festered like an open wound, Mr Bungle were spinning dark, psychotic tales of porn, toilet humour and food. Previously t0 this there were other demo's, the band albeit a more comical death-fuzz-cartoon act, but 'OU818' was the demo that started the ball rolling and tongues wagging. Considered a collectible item, this precious jewel sees the band way out on their own, giving birth to this outrageous demo cassette which features five tracks if you exclude the spasticated intro, four of which made it onto the debut record. Put simply' 'OU818' and its contents do not differ from the album except to say that on the album the tracks used are shrouded in carnival atmospheres, comic capers, sinister overtones and surreal evil, whereas the demo cuts, being ''Squeeze Me Macaroni', 'Slowly Growing Deaf', 'The Girls Of Porn' and 'Love Is A Fist' are bereft of much of the atmospherics, but still provide the listener with a fatal overdose to the system. Of course, what the demo offers that the record doesn't is the eight-minute wonder 'Mr Nice Guy', your typical Bungle overload of epileptic weirdness...track this down if you're a real Bungle fan...if not, fuck off back to your Faith No More records.

8/10

The Distillers - Coral Fang (2003)

Too many so-called fans were quick to stamp on this release, claiming that The Distillers had sold out, the band opting for a bigger budget and cleaner sound, although this record was tragically to be their last. For, this is the finest Distillers records, and probably one of the best punk records ever released, even if it lacks that sheer volatile blitz of previous records. This is certainly more commercial, if you can call it that, I'd prefer to say that the band became better musicians and songwriters, and the luscious Brody Dalle found her ideal vocal approach, somewhere between razorblade angel and soulful punk bitch. The coarseness of earlier records is missing here, the band opting for a more melodic approach, however, it's hard to fault the tracks on this offering. 'Drain The Blood' is pure aggression, a punk anthem of the highest order in which Dalle excels herself beyond manly vomit and from here on there's not a duff track, 'Dismantle Me' is truly monstrous, 'Die On A Rope' goes straight for the throat but its the menacing doom of 'The Gallow Is God' that provides a real peak for the record, Brody's harsh chords scraping her throat into the superb chorus, and musically this is a fine record, Andy Granelle's drums batter and clatter throughout, providing a storm of anarchy. Sure, The Distillers now have a rockier edge, but their ability to create heavy yet catchy songs amid the chaos is frightening, one minute thrashing with the most aggressive and then slowing the temp ominously. The title cut is venemous but 'The Hunger' is one of the best songs The Distillers have ever crafted, albeit one displaying more of a mellow side with the introduction of an acoustic melody which soon catches on fire, meanwhile 'Beat Your Heart Out' is another punk rock classic. there's no denying that 'Coral Fang' rocks harder than a majority of alleged rock 'n' roll albums. In Brody Dalle we have one of the hottest voices...and bodies in heavy rock, just a shame they chose to disband, Brody forming her next act, Spinnerette.

8.5/10

London - Don't Cry Wolf (1986)

Here's a sleaze rock band that actually once featured the talents of Nikki Sixx, Izzy Stradlin, Slash and Blackie Lawless. Unfortunately, whilst these musicians went on to far bigger things, London dissolved after lack of distribution but there's no forgetting these guys, even if after a few spins you realise that it's a reasonably unfulfilling record when you consider the past of the band. Fronted by Nadir D'Priest, London thrash out a style of glam rock 'n' roll that is caught somewhere between Crue's 'Shout At The Devil' and 'Girls Girls Girls'. Anthems aplenty, Nadir occasionally off-key but the guitar of Lizzie Grey is worth the money alone. Side Two rescues the record big time as the band crash through 'Fast As Light' which reminds me of Crue's 'Downtown', whilst 'Put Out The Fire' is pure Fastway in my eyes. Maybe it's just me but the b-side seems to have more attitude, or maybe it's the tragic cover of Lennon & McCartney's 'Oh Darling' that turns the opening side into a damp squib, but when you hear 'Drop The Bomb' or 'Set Me Free' you'll realise that 'Too Fast For Love' this most certainly isn't, but if you can look beyond the band members that left, you'll still find a solid party metal album in 'Dont Cry Wolf', but it's bark is most certainly worse than its bite, although the opening riff of 'Hit And Run Lover' will have you frothing, just a shame about the almost timid, lipstick attack of Nadir D'Priest.

6.5/10

King Diamond - Them (1988)

You'll either love or hate the phantom screech of King Diamond, but one thing you can't knock on this concept album is the musicianship. Forget nice, catchy metal, this is dark, gothic and tight musicianship, a real forest of complex threads, branches and roots that tie this ominous tale together. When I first heard this album I was on the fence, at times it dwelt too much in the cheesy side of horror metal, but the sincerity is that Mr Diamond likes to tell a grim tale with every detail, and if that concerns having a cup of tea, then that's what he'll sing about...and then there's the screeching vocal which sends a shudder but may also have you clutching your eyes, but if you want to create a theatrical, Halloween atmosphere then 'Them' is perfect for you. The way King Diamond creates his characters and plays out his horror story is something akin to 'Psycho' the musical...if there ever was one...at times disturbing, very occult and as a metal record well polished and efficiently delivered. Andy La Rocque and Pete Blakk are wizards on guitars and the drums of Mikky Dee take this to a new level. It's not really thrash, but somehow King Diamond carves his own niche, a black streak of venom that provides a story as well as a solid, professional and at times masterful display of heavy metal. King Diamond was always one of the true innovators from his Mercyful Fate days, and although his style remains an acquired taste, his records appeal because of their darkness even if at times cheesiness creeps in and bathes the gothic menace in an untimely light.

7.5/10

Tesla - Into The Now (2004)

I never saw this beauty coming. After a ten year hiatus Tesla return with a supersonic rock 'n' roll that somehow slips into the present as if it was from a striking new act with balls. The sound is heavier and breezier, of course, Tesla will always remain universal, but there's an attitude this time round as the band swagger and swoon through a variety of well produced stompers. This is no regurgitation of past glories, instead the band up the anti, creating anthems aplenty but without any type of cheesiness, instead throwing out a ballsy rock groove that could actually stand alongside Beautiful Creatures, Saigon Kick, but more so Kik Tracee, although it doesn't have the sharpness of BC or alternative colours of SK, this is still a revitalising record. The middle section features two toned down jams which sway with acoustic splendour, but what you must really marvel at is the band's ability to remain in time, and I guess that's why the album is called 'Into The Now'. It's a bold statement from a band who have gone from being consistently good to now very cool. I'm sure this won't go unnoticed with the Tesla fans, but as always, the tragedy is, will the mainstream overlook such a decent record ?

8/10

L7 - Bricks Are Heavy (1992)

At the height of grunge mania, L7, a bullish female foursome, hit the charts with successive big bubblegum hits weighed down by a massive guitar chug and a sound good enough to get them a support slot on the Faith No More tour. Whilst Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Soundgarden took over the world, L7 proved that you didn't need to be overly serious to create waves on the metal scene, their brand of rock 'n' roll may have lacked the fuzz of say Mudhoney or darkness of Soundgarden, but here was a full-on female assault providing catchy hooks and bouncing melody. Opener 'Wargasm' is a great doom-grunge head-ripper but the album also managed to spawn several hits in the form of the 'Monster', the venemous punk of 'Shitlist', the stomping 'Everglade' and more sweeter 'Pretend We're Dead'. L7 proved to be wild children, I'll never forget the moment the lovely drummer on the FNM tour threw a sanitary towel into the crowd...L7 were a band who took no shit, and although their career stalled after this record, 'Bricks Are Heavy' remains an overlooked album from an overhyped scene.

7/10

Kingdom Come - Kingdom Come

I heard that Led Zeppelin had the lawsuits ready when these Swede's released the single 'Get It On' ! Big time imitation of the great Zep but as a debut album this self-titled rocker has enough swagger and sway and I'm not just talking about the big hair or the stench of Zeppelin. This is quality metal but the hooks of Danny Stag and Rick Steier are stolen right from Jimmy page and his scrapbook of creations. At the front we have Lenny Wolf, deadringer vocally for Mr Plant, attempting and indeed pulling off those sultry grooves, and everyone was talking about the 'Kashmir' steal of 'Get It On' the single that got the ball rolling and heads shaking, stirring the ego's of the Zeppelin camp. Even so, Kingdom Come know how to rock, this debut and the follow up 'In Your Face' were excellent hard rock records from a band who never quite made the big time but when you watch the steam rise from mover 'What Love Can Be' and hear the strut of '17' you'll no doubt snigger at the Zepp imitations, but there's no denying the band know how to write a riff and a big tune.

7/10

Slave Raider - Take The World By Storm (1988)

Imagine if Alice Cooper, W.A.S.P. and Twisted Sister got together and had a child, then Slave Raider would be the product. I think the five-piece were on to a loser as soon as they begun but I find something deep down to savour here. chainsaw Caine is the mad, bad vocalist who comes across like a less fleshy Dee Snider, and he's backed by a theatrical rock show that never quite delivers the fireworks, Nicci Wikkid is the fiery femme fatale who backs up vocals and rips out the guitars alongside Lance Sabin, whilst Letitia Rae and The Rock make up the rest of the freakshow, but there's no real sustainable weight here, and lyrically it's pretty groggy Too much "brain - insane, rude - crude", c'mon guys I know it's 1988 but surely within the recesses of your minds you could find something abit more meaty to say ? The title cut is catchy, 'Make Some Noise' WILL remain on the tip of your memory for at least a week, but it's still a watered down Twisted Sister that fell at the first hurdle, but I'm giving it a mention here because someone out there in glam land may really take a shine to it.

5/10

Incubus - Beyond The Unknown (1988)

US death/thrash that hooked me with the cover. Musically it's a thrashier Obituary during a time when death metal was making inroads and everything was being produced in Florida. Technically, some excellent music on offer here, no real thrills as such but it's a shame the band dissipated afterwards because 'Beyond...' is as good as most that emerged during the time, but I guess such an effort got drowned in the sea of familiar bands, as Nocturnus, Monstrosity, Obituary, Death, Morbid Angel, etc, etc, hit the scene. 'Beyond...' explores more of a death metal territory than the 'Serpent Temptation' debut, allowing its speed and gruff vocal delivery to take over the helm so if you're looking for quality, technical and well polished death metal then you could do worse then check out Incubus...shame that they share their name with a terrible nu-metal act.

7/10

Nuclear Assault - Game Over (1986)

A pure thrash attack from the New Jersey group. For me, 'Survive' was their most accomplished record, although Nuclear assault always remained mid-table in the major league, but can't be faulted for their energy and fast-paced rockin'. John Connelly's vocals can sometimes grate but on 'Stranded In Hell' the band find a happy medium, blitzing the ears with infernal thrash but slowing down when the time is right. Nuclear Assault were certainly popular during their time and 'Game Over' has alot of qualities which made early Metallica, Megadeth etc so classy, but for some reason the four-piece couldn't shift into first gear but thrashers will find much to savour here, even if the band will insist on injecting silly humour, but then again the thrash scene was known for such tomfoolery! Musically frantic, somehow refreshing, you know what you're getting with Nuclear Assault and let's face it, their name says it all. A quality thrash sleeve by Repka also.

6.5/10

Defiance - Void Terra Firma (1990)

Hey, I like this record. Sure, it's Bay Area thrash but it has enough meat to really get your teeth into. This would no doubt have slipped by the wayside back in the day, the Bay Area scene produced a veritable feast of quality bands, and upon looking back it's a shame more never made it big. Defiance slot in just behind Testament, keeping it real and heavy, especially in the vocal department of Steve Esquivel whose growls are consistent and certainly more layered than you'd expect from most Bay Area thrashers. There's a big Anthrax chug on 'Checkmate', and whilst there's an air of familiarity on the record, this being the band's second release, the musicianship is accomplished and I've heard far worse. It's important that bands such Defiance existed, proof that no-holds barred thrash could stand the test of time because listening to 'Void...' many years later, it still sounds good.

7/10

Bolt Thrower - In Battle There Is No Law (1988)

When first introduced to metal I was bewildered by the many sub-sections of genre within the fray. Power metal, thrash metal, sleaze, glam and doom metal...but once you're in for the ride little do you realise just how complex these categories are...in fact, despite the elastic nature of the metal genre, it still attempts to restrict by pigeon holing anything and everything new that comes along. Back in the '80s when the storm clouds gathered dark Britain produced a style of aggressive music that carved its own niche. Back then it was called hardcore, but this is where it gets confusing. The thrash/death metal genre spawned so many spin-offs, from speed metal, to grindcore, from black metal to thrashcore, speedcore, industrial blah blah...Bolt Thrower, who hailed from the Midlands in the UK lead a pack of hungry contenders to a throne that was vacant, and so hardcore was born. Listen to this superb record today and I'm sure you'll agree that it could fit into several of the genre's already mentioned, but at the time in the UK there were alot of independent labels out there producing fine and extreme bands such as Napalm Death, Unseen Terror, Defecation etc, who simply had a sound that couldn't be restricted as such. Hardcore somehow described a style of primitive sludge that could have pace, yet it wasn't thrash, it was grey and battering, but not industrial despite its vision of satanic mills and crumbling industry, and it certainly wasn't clean or tight enough to be classed as death metal. Grindcore was certainly a bracket that may have enshrouded a band such as Bolt Thrower whose debut album still remains a horrifying cult release. From its black and white sketch cover to its doom-laden sound, you can tell its pure British filth, rubbing shoulders with punk, touching on a Sabbath outlook, poisoning and smothering like toxic waste but something so different from say bands such as Slayer.

'In Battle...' is one of the best UK extreme metal records, it pours a blackness into the ocean, a grinding, droning, marching plague of negativity that somehow offers so much in its warfare. I guess it could be punk, but it's too stark, and it could be hardcore, but it's too heavy, it's just British. Imagine some vile creature from Lovecraft's most appalling setting, rising from the wastes and obliterating a city already high on nuclear power and coated in grey. Bolt Thrower have always produced a big sound, dirty, rolling, clanking and somehow remain original in a genre of sub-plots, spin-off categories and pigeon-holing. Grindcore, hardcore...it doesn't matter, Bolt Thrower covered the lot on this monster, a titan of a record that ripped the lid off the drains and puked sewage all over the scene. Only the UK could produce something so real...

8/10

Darkthrone - F.O.A.D. (2007)

This is it. The bands finest record since those pitch black early days when extremity existed in under-produced forest dwelling evil. 'F.O.A.D.' takes us back to the '80s when anthemic destruction was on the cards, bedrooms were draped in vampyric and satanic influence and "Fuck Off And Die" was the spirit of metal. Fenriz and Nocturno have finally, after many attempts by many, many bands, to reenact that pure, energized time of dark excitement. Celtic Frost, Bulldozer, Venom, traditional metal, the NWOBHM, it's all here, a murky, yet accessible time warp of a record that exists on regression but remains the final word in Darkthrone's reign. No other band in the modern era could get away with tracks such as 'Canadian Metal' or 'Raised On Rock'. Motorhead have spewed such oily manifestations for what seems like centuries, but on 'F.O.A.D.' the Norwegian kings have found that icy grave that metal had almost neglected, that time when metal was real, when posers were set fire to, and parents ran back to their dining room worried about their son's infatuation with alleged black magic. 'F.O.A.D.' is no imitation, it's still Darkthrone, and the fingers they stick up to the commercial masses are as big and black as ever, but musically this is a fantastic black thrash assault, mid-paced grimness that thrives on vile yet monstrous vocals, some amazing buzzing, nihilistic riffs, and the wonderful percussion from Fenriz. 'These Shores Are Damned' shows the band at their finest musically, Nocturno producing a tight, Celtic Frost inspired claustrophobia whilst the rank, ominous plod of 'The Banners Of Old' brings back those apocalyptic memories of when I first realised that something deeper lurked behind the seemingly vicious facade of Slayer.

'F.O.A.D.' is a tribute to all the great bands of before, early Voivod, Destruction, Bathory, old school thrash and epic power metal. But it's still very much Darkthrone as they soar beyond the shoulders of giants and exist in their own gloomy realm of arrogance and impurity. Check out that riff on the title cut and the warrior cries, it's the kind of album that hopefully will captivate many new metalheads as they seek something extra through the fog.

Darkthrone are not black metal, they are true heavy metal, capturing the spirit and cavernous power of the genre. Blessed with a great album cover also, the gruesome twosome even list a selection of essential great metal records on the inner sleeve. what more can you ask from the masters of metal.

9/10

Warlord - The Best Of... (1993)

Admittedly I don't know alot about these guys but they released the 'Deliver Us' EP in 1983 and then a live debut in '84, so this record groups together the bands alleged finest moments, a distant chasm of heavy metal which will appeal to fans of the NWOBHM and possibly stuff like Witchfinder General in that Warlord possess an uncanny ability to grind out phantom music from the deepest caverns. At times you can smell the naivety of the early '80s here as the act sift through various devilish topics, the vocals often monotone over the impressive guitars, waves of density come ashore, 'Child Of The Damned', 'Black Mass' and 'Lucifers Hammer' are not as corny as they sound and tracks such as 'Lost & Lonely Days' have an Ozzy feel. It's strange stuff without ever roaming into far and distant places although I'm pretty sure Warlord recorded these tracks in dense woodland...

6.5/10

Vicious Rumours - Vicious Rumours (1990)

Always remember their albums in the magazines and never got round to fully appreciating the power metal splendour, but the self-titled opus really does reek of Metal Church via 'Blessing In...' so that's fine by me, Carl Albert's vocals crystal clear, the riffs chugging along mid-tempo, the album harbouring alot of beef. I love the thrashy 'Dont Wait For Me', the chanted chorus, a genuine attempt at real heavy metal and some mighty fine guitar work courtesy of Thorpe and McGee. 'World Church' is a little predictable, let's face it, how many metal tracks in the world have an, "All for one...", chorus ? Too many. However, 'On The Edge' really tramples and 'Down To The Temple' is a wicked brew of metallic heaviness and polished musicianship. This is a gem of a record from a band who I imagined at the time were massive when the reality was, they simply weren't, probably cos' they were too damn sincere and no holds barred to follow trends.

7.5/10

Tesla - The Great Radio Controversy (1989)

A step up from 'Mechanical...', this opus sees the band pumping harder and the licks coming stronger from the off. Relatively safe as houses but tighter than a duck's arse 'Hang Tough' grooves smoothly into the mix, the hips are shaking and the fire is burning even if it's just melodic metal for the masses. Love the riff of 'Be A Man' even if the track itself is a little cheesy but it's well produced arena rock that never actually filled too many arena's, probably because they'd all been taken up by the likes of Bon Jove and Kiss but Tesla do a far better job at swinging rock. 'Did It For The Money' shows the band have a surprisingly heavy streak and 'Makin Magic' provokes images of the metal daze that was slowly fading and Jeff Keith is a real belter when it comes to bashing out the vocals. The album has its quieter moments, you have to expect that in late '80s rock but 'Flight To Nowhere' builds wonderfully and 'Love Song' drifts by leaving a tear or two.

7/10

Urband Dance Squad - Mental Floss For The Globe (1990)

At times these Dutch boys are electrifying, fronted by the rappin', rockin' Rudeboy here's a band for all ya'll who went on to dig the likes of Fishbone, Mordred, 24-7-Spyz etc. This is cool, dynamic funky heavily fused crossover rock, unpredictable, catchy and thankfully sincere unlike so many other bands from the time. Humour, politics, streetwise visuals, cool bass lines, scratchin' and attitude. Nothing cheesy about UDS, just a shame they never really made a mark but as soon as the flame begins to burn on 'Fast Lane' you'll be climbing the walls. Elasticated rock at its finest I guess but always with a limited shelf life, unless of course you still own a copy or read this and go and find one...they deserve the recognition so put the Chili Peppers crap down and listen to some real crazy rock.

7/10

The Young Gods - TV Sky (1991)

Hypnotic Swiss industrial which breezes in on the Doors-esque 'Our House' but soon melts into road movie rust with the oily 'Gasoline Man' . This is the bands fourth album in a peculiar yet stirring career. This record rarely left my turntable when I purchased it, a dark grey mechanical cloud of oddness that clanks, drives, fizzes and buzzes as much as any Ministry album whilst spewing forth a kaleidoscope of psychedelia and electro remoteness. 'Skinflowers' is wonderfully serene bleeding into the thrashy strains of 'Dame Chance' but for me it's the final two cuts on the record which offer so much beauty. 'She Rains' pictures a monolithic Jim Morrison character underneath an electrical storm as the band brood and groove in a 'Twin Peaks' nightmare and the final cut, 'Summer Eyes' has a gothic tinge. This is dark poetry in motion that at once rains, shines and bleeds onto the floor, making you want to dance but also wallow in some other place that The Young Gods are able to create with only the use of voice, samples and drums. Excellent.

8/10

Ministry - The Land Of Rape & Honey (1988)

Wow, what a sound. As the electro buzz of 'Stigmata' kicks in it's clear that Ministry are just a fraction away of bridging that gap between metal and industrial mayhem. Of course, such a pathway would not be created until the fantastic 'The Way To Succeed...', but 'The Land Of...' was the big one for me, a tormented, frantic minefield of barbaric machinism. The disturbing 'The Missing' pounds like anything dark in metal, Al Jourgensen becoming one of the most maniacal frontmen ever with his hoarse bellows amidst the wiry soundcsapes. Somehow wonderfully catchy in its extremity, four years later of course Faith No More would reinact such absurdities on 'Angel Dust', but Minsitry have always been the kings of such robotic rage, thrashing with the likes of Voivod but also constructing booming dance rhythms ('Destruction') and techno-punk ('Hizbollah'). There aren't many industrial bands who can lay claim that they started a riot, but in a genre where rust often outweighs the accessibility, Ministry rise like some Lovecraftian gargoyle, the title track an immense behemoth of barbed wire menace. This sits nicely alongside the video nasty samples of Swamp Terrorists and grey angst of Treponem Pal and is a must even for the purist metaller.

8/10

Lynch Mob - Wicked Sensation (1990)

Well, it's alright. Of course, I can't leave the review at that but this is more middle of the road metal, not as cringe worthy as the likes of Steelheart, Lynch Mob having more balls than alot of late '80s, early '90s rock acts but already suffering at the hands of metal's new inventors being the likes of Faith No More, Soundgarden etc. Featuring George Lynch of Dokken fame, 'Wicked Sensation' is straight down the line good time rock, not as soulful as say Bulletboys but catchy all the same, 'River Of Love' is a bit of a stomper even if 'Sweet Sister Mercy' sounds more suited to Def Leppard, but it's accessible and doesn't leaving me eating my own hair. Bereft of any creativity, Lynch Mob exist on some reasonable choruses, albeit tracks which seem to lead the same way in their formula, but at least when we get to the anthemic bit it's not too much of a let down. A nice up-tempo record that doesn't require thought.

5.5/10

Steelheart - Steelheart (1990)

These guys were about five years too late, bringing their brand of big, bombastic hair rock to the stage just as the likes of Faith No More were wrapping rock around their little fingers. Steelheart is good if you like the leathery yet altogether soft-rock tones of pouting Whitesnake. Sure, the vocalist has a fair voice but you can tell what's coming in the song titles, 'Cant Stop Me Loving You', 'Like Never Before', and two of the most atrociously titled tracks ever in 'Everybody Loves Eileen' and 'Sheila'. Of course, after you succumb to the soft lovin' of Steelheart you'll realise that not everyone likes Steelheart...in fact, I don't really, but it's one of those records you may have bought by mistake but never took back but occasionally threw on whilst the light was dimming, candles were burning...and there was nothing else to do...of course, if you're one of those people, you really need to strengthen your record collection because Steelheart are probably rated one-billion in regards to essential listening, but hey, it's all metal.

5/10

Tesla - Mechanical Resonance (1986)

I criminally missed Tesla in the racks for so long, too devoted to my satanic lords and thrashing messiah's, but if there's a band that sum up 'universal music' as such then its these guys. 'Mechanical...' wasn't a mind-blowing debut, if anything a soft-walled rock record to laze around too instead of truly rock out, but the band would become far better, far tighter and somehow cool. 'Mechanical...' seems cliched and yet also sincere in its bleatings, 'Ez Come Ez Go' kicks in on a big riff, pure American rock but from here the band become at once sleepy and summery, '2 Late 4 Love' grooves big but the band also flitter between a Def Leppard kind of wall of sound. Tesla please big crowds 'We're No Good Together' throbs like an old fashioned '80s hair ballad should, 'Little Suzi' hides behind a slushy acoustic whilst 'Love Me' thrusts itself into the commercial limelight. much preferred to the hairy stageshow of Kiss, 'Mechanical...' is a nice record and nothing more, but the band would offer far more in the following releases than just pomp.

7/10

Candlemass - Tales Of Creation (1989)

The mightiest doom band once again creating a monstrous castle to rise so solemnly above the grey clouds. Candlemass create fantastic visions of bleak fantasy without ever fully depressing the ears, instead their grim fairytale is often one of awe-inspiring dark magic and forlorn glory. Messiah Marcolin, one of the finest voices of melancholic metal drives the band on through the rainy forests and frosty landscapes as behind him his warriors of metal dish out layers of thick foggy doom, leadweight guitars that nod towards Sabbath but carve their own unique pathway. Tale upon tale echoed by the bells toll, the chills sweeping through the passages and solitude and mourning loitering behind every door. Candlemass are poetic doom, never relying on the dreary to enable their brand of metal, this is simply a wonderful piece of gloomy architecture constructed of eleven beautifully crafted songs which rarely plod but mesmerise in their unfathomable shadows. Candlemass are one of the chosen few bands who play this type of music and master it with ease. The mighty do not always fall...

8/10

Rage - Perfect Man (1988)

There was quite a buzz about these German metallers in the '80s, the band spewing forth a dark, technical almost classic metal dirge with speed-metal edge although never really flirting with razor thrash, but Rage certainly know how to cut the flesh. This is very precise power metal that brings to mind the likes of Priest in its well engineered pace, blistering guitars, war marching drums and the searing, soaring vocals of Peavey who also supplies the jarring bass lines. Imagine a cold fusion of Priest, Maiden and Coroner, a technical, icy plateau of frosted layers, angled inclines and unusual cave systems giving the whole record a futuristic but possibly inaccessible edge to your average metaller. Often fascinating stuff, explosions of riffs and solo's, fast-paced drums which have a trigger effect on the ears and somewhere deep down a catchy chorus or two if you give it time. Rage have carved themselves an interesting career but don't imagine this topping the charts but I'm pretty sure that many clubs across Europe appreciated this highly talented trio who certainly know how to crank up their style on intellectual metal.

7.5/10

Celtic Frost - Emperor's Return (1985)

What a great sleeve! Pretty much sums up '80s metal for me, those remote wastes beyond the mainstream which lurked in the rack like sinister gremlins. Celtic Frost, one of the true greats of the macabre and bizarre, 'Emperors Return' may only be a five track record but it's still a must-have for any collection, featuring the classics 'Circle Of Tyrants', 'Morbid Tales', 'Dethroned Emperor', 'Visual Aggression' and 'Suicidal Winds', pure black metal weirdness for the most peculiar of places. Can't knock such an influential band who've inspired so much inner metal evil over the years and remain the true innovators of European metal. The reality, or should that be unreality, is that Celtic Frost remain the darkest form of metal.

8/10

Mekong Delta - Mekong Delta (1989)

More thrashing weirdness from one of my favourite oddball groups. This debut record is a jarring record that brings to mind, especially on opening cut 'Without Honour', the killing speed of Bay Area thrashers Violence, but that's where the comparisons end, Mekong Delta instead exploring far deeper cosmic regions with their avant-garde offerings. Always something alien about these Europeans who reviewer Martin Popoff described as, "...all too much to cope with in one lifetime", proving the band's at times inaccessible quality. Dazzling guitar work, exceptional melodies amongst the speed, and far from being your average mosh-out, this is from a void very remote, possibly the same cyber-vacuum once trodden by Voivod, Anacrusis, Atheist etc, where incomprehensible atmospheres are conveyed, sometimes seeming to lack emotion due to the complex arrangements. Defiant of any trends, imagine if Anthrax decided to mingle with Primus and you might at least be shed a light light into the world of Mekong Delta, a strange place for strange people. In other words, abit like walking backwards with one leg.

7.5/10

L.A. Guns - L.A. Guns (1988)

These guys shoulda shared the same limelight as Guns 'n' Roses but it never happened. A whole career as a good rockin' sleaze band but nothing more, 'Sex Action' snaps at the heels of Motley Crue, the spiralling 'Electric Gypsy' is certainly where Love/Hate came from, and there's no doubt that Tracii Guns, who founded Guns 'n' Roses with Axl, is a talented guitarist, but this kind of poppy, one-dimensional rock 'n' roll leaves a bitter taste. Predictable choruses, the occasional swagger ('Bitch Is Back'), the lighter-waving anthem ('Cry No More' leading into 'One Way Ticket'), it's all here, but it's not enough for me, lacking the sheer leathery menace of 'Too Fast For Love' and overall quality of 'Appetite For Destruction'.

In the end, it's still sincere rock 'n' roll I guess but it leaves me feeling empty.

6/10

Bulletboys - Bulletboys (1990)

Sure, rather predictable party metal, somewhere between AC/DC and bombastic sleaze rock, but it's good for the hips and lips. Fronted by the soulful croon of Marq Torien, Bulletboys had the ability to shake things up although back in the day such a record would have swept by the wayside as acts such as Kik Tracee and Love/Hate destroyed the field of pretenders. Even so, this has a refreshing quality to it even if its not mind-expanding music. Opener 'Hard As A Rock' is as expected, straight down the line rock 'n' roll and the terribly titled 'Smooth Up In Ya' is hair metal at its most hairsprayed, but the musicianship is sweet, the production big, and Van Halen would have been worried about a few of the imitations! Certainly too much of this kind of stuff is noneducational and actually vomit inducing, but if you have the occasional day when your brain needs a rest and body simply requires a good shake, then 'Crank It Up' and 'Badlands' will provide a quick fix.

6.5/10

Buckcherry - Buckcherry (1999)

Whilst lacking the shining class of the '15' opus, this debut caused a slight stir in the US, but was completely ignored in the UK which is understandable considering this kind of bar room rock 'n' roll was invented here many decades ago. Even so, this record is still worthy of inclusion, containing more swagger than Velvet Revolver, Guns 'n' Roses and all the other bloated rich boys, fronted by Josh Todd who really has a sexual growl worth hearing. The chorus of 'Lit Up' is one for the censors as Todd bellows "I love the cocaine", and whilst the track kicks in good and proper it's not until the fourth track, 'Dirty Mind' that the band get low down and dirty, an oily semi-ballad, whilst 'Borderline' is pure Black Crowes twanging.

Buckcherry do have a knack of hitting the big chorus lines which makes the band more the fun and more the accessible. Too many other acts appear to have a forced swagger but as debut records go, 'this self-titled rocker will appeal to the tattooed ladies and whiskey drinking men, but if anything, it's more bubblegum rock ('Get Back') and middle of the road hard rock ('Baby') than all out drunken brawl.

7/10

Nocturnus - The Key (1990)

During the late '80s and early '90s alot of American death metal bands sounded the same, bolstered by the production of Morrisound Studios, a time when the scene was saturated with similar sounding bands, meaning that anything worthy usually became lost in the sea of imitation. Nocturnus are best listened to now, instead of back then. Despite the usual death metal trademarks, and the fact that the band somehow managed to look bloody awful on the inner sleeve in comparison to most of the other bands. Also, the keyboards peppering the record originally didn't make for good listening, but a few decades later 'The Key' has stood the test of time, a raging slab of a record akin to a more cosmic Morbid Angel, kickstarted by the horror synth opening and chug-a-go-go of 'Lake Of Fire' which is Slayer with a UFO sound effect as the riffs break through, all the while laced with a strange buzzing from the keys. This pretty much sums up 'The Key' a reasonably heavy death metal record from another Florida-based band, but with some decent effects to smother the blandness. Drummer and vocalist Browning is reasonably hectic over the guitar twiddlings of McNenney and Davis, and the complex structures certainly make the album far more interesting than a majority of bands from the time. Unfortunately hidden behind a rather dour cover, 'The Key' still rises above mediocrity.

7/10

Ratt - Dancing Undercover (1986)

Ratt broke big after 'Out Of The Cellar' but disappointed on 'Invasion Of Your Privacy', in fact, their whole career was one of underachievement, the band slinking out of the West Coast like glam-rock spiders, but never reaching the success of Motley Crue, but instead remaining a watered down, always unfulfilling experience. 'Dancing...' hardly kicks in with the polished 'Dance', pretty boy Stephen Pearcy gets no marks for his pouting, and 'One Good Lover' may have been perfect for the ladies at the back, but the swagger, or should I say lack of, is evident as the outfit swish through ten tracks without causing any hotel room damage. 'Body Talk' attempts some kind of aggression but the chorus is appalling, and I'll be forever condemning the band and their almost naive outlook. Of course, Crue were as easily to blame as 'Girls Girls Girls' and 'Theatre Of Pain' made the band look traitors to their early classics, but for me Ratt never got off on the right foot, but they deserve a place because as a kid I remember seeing their records everywhere and that should have influenced me to become a fan, but it didn't. What it did do was make me realise that no-one in the UK was falling for such pussy footin'.

5/10

Limbomaniacs - Stinky Grooves (1990)

Oh no, more funk for ya trunk. Limbomaniacs were hot on the heels of fifty-million other funk-metal acts in the early '90s, chowing down on the slap bass tickle, the skuzzy jerk flip-flop guitar work and of course, the white-boy antics courtesy of frontman Mirv...all rather familiar, stupid lyrics aplenty, lotsa props given for the Peppers, Bootsy Collins and all manner of funk boy fury, but this has to be one of the most dated of metal genre's, even the grim, non-sound of evil black metal remains more progressive than this sickly carnival. Limbomaniacs served up a dish that tasted quite sweet at first but after a few seconds you'll be begging the waiter for a refund. Fans of the funk-metal fiasco often wondered why the trend never lasted more than two years, well, the answers is because of bands like this whose ideas were more suited to a cartoon strip than a record. Awful band name, awful album title, awful cover.

4/10

Spiders & Snakes - Melodrama (2007)

Don't really know what to make of these guys to be honest. Often, and once touted as rock 'n' roll's next big thing, it's taken years, and several albums to do nothing at all, and upon hearing 'Melodrama' I can't help but feel this is a band with talent, but too much corniness in their sound to really be appreciated. Vocally, it's almost out of tune with the music which is a hybrid of summery '60s melody and hard rock, the band producing several numbers that bring to mind The Rolling Stones, but if you want your music retro yet still touching then try Enuff Z Nuff. It's a fine line between influence and imitation, and I can't see what Spiders & Snakes are doing here, in the UK a track like 'Shoot Me Down' would be cast aside as pop candy, and the strut of 'Yesterdays Hero' is awkward, the band offering up something akin to '80s cheesy glam mixed with The Sweet, probably the only band who could get away with such glittery massages.

I'm aware of the band's catalogue, but there's just too many songs here all too eager to steal from the '60s swagger but in the case of 'Kicks' or shuffle of 'Friends Like You', I'm detecting a rather embarrassing element to it all, as if the band want to believe they are true rock 'n' rollers but all I'm hearing is cliche. This is more '80s Alice Cooper circa 'Trash' than New York Dolls and the finale of 'Forever' is like a bad tribute to The Beatles. Get another singer.

4/10