Agony Column - God, Guns & Guts (1989)

Oh boy, this is some serious backwater hostility. Unsure how to categorise this gem of a record, but it digests classic metal, gorges itself on deathly growls, chokes on thrashy chugs, and chomps down on a few Motorhead riffs. Add to this wonderful concoction everything from White Zombie, Slayer, a bit of punk, a slab of grunge, a dose of hardcore and a pounding garage blues, and you may have some idea of what Agony Column are. Of course, descriptions aside, Agony Column play a fiery breed rock 'n' roll that grooves, thrashes, rages and stomps. 'Snakebite' is truly immense, completely unexpected in its drag-racing go-go strut, C.O.C, White Zombie and buckets of oil, but where is this strangeness coming from and going to ? Only Faith No More really served up such aggression and coupled it with subtlety and wonder, but Agony Column do a fine job of combining hot-metal, an almost ZZ Top-esque boogie (halfway through '4x4'), and a Guns 'n' Roses sleaze. Big sounds abound here.

'Fiendish Plots' almost pokes fun at the graveyard metal stomp of yesteryear, a mutation of AC/DC , The Cramps and Misfits with its comical buzz, and yet somehow...somehow...this is all so serious and rocking. 'Cars, Sex & Violence' chugs like Anthrax, but Richie Turner's warble twists and turns through the molten riffs. 'Walk The Night' begins akinto some Joe Satriani guitar wank, yet remains blessed in tattooed darkness and then there's that head pounding chug, could that be Exodus ? Priest ? Or maybe that groove is pure Hollywood sleaze chained up in a dingy castle!

'Blackjack' finds itself years ahead of anything else, a funky strut of a tune that comes from out of nowhere. You'll be perplexed, but always coloured by this hot-potch of monster groove and daring rock. Always aggressive in its motive, but sexy as it writhes like some multi-coloured serpent. A strange brew indeed. Track this one down.

8.5/10