Diamond Rexx - Land Of The Damned (1987)

Another of those forgotten glam sleaze acts who had an incredible edge with those weird vocals and fuzzy kinda basement riffs. Sure, there's lipstick, leather and hairspray but the real glam rock knows how to headbang whilst being dressed up in sickly sweet perfume and bloodied rags. Diamond Rexx play the sort of sonic sleaze that Celtic Frost boldly attempted on the twisted 'Cold Lake' record, the anthemic and sickly 'I Wish I Was Rich' belted out over a black riff, clattering drum and OTT vocal. Sneering and spiteful at times, but too obscure and scum-ridden to break it big. Album cover probably didn't help either!

6.5/10

Witch - Damnation (2008)

The wonderfully named Witch were a riff heavy '80s sleaze band clad in leather - albeit torn leather - who hardly released a thing and so 'Damnation' belatedly puts together their 'The Hex Is On' EP and a few other choice, rare cuts to make a 20 track compilation that's certainly worth checking out. Goodness how many similar cool bands were overlooked in the '80s whilst lesser talented and certainly more polished and lightweight 'brands' made a headway. I like the obscure nature of Witch, particularly Allen's gargoyle vocals and those fuzzy, dense riffs which give a sinister edge to the sleaze. Some cool tunes on offer from 'Cinderella (In Black Leather)', 'Wet n Wild', to 'Bewitched' and the clanking, Motorhead glam rock puke of 'Blond Alert'. Certainly the sort of band who woulda been quite happy to have smeared lipstick, powder, paint, blood, vomit and shit on the mirror for added effect. All hail the forgotten bands of sickly glam.

7/10

Ignitor - The Spider Queen (2009)

Mmmm, so, Erika, the queen of vocal pipes flees the nest and now ex-watchtower and metal journeyman Jason McMaster is at the helm - maybe it's Ignitor's way of showing they mean business. Somehow this doesn't seem as effective as the 'Road...' record, but it's still powerhouse metal, this time more inspired by Dio and the runic mayhem of Skyclad. All very mystical and musically sharp, eager to thrash at times, the band clearly experienced at this sort of thing, so the fires are raging hard, but I can't get Dio's wolfen glare out of my head. Something incredibly nostalgic about Ignitor but I can't see it lasting, my lack of faith simply based on the fact that McMaster doesn't seem to stay anywhere for too long but we'll have to wait and see...but I'm more interested in what Erika is doing but it wouldn't surprise me if she's off crooning on some Nordic cruise ship! No prizes for the terrible album cover...nice bum though!

7/10

Agony Column - Way Back In The Woods (1995)

And so it came to be, like some sprawling yet unseen backwoods terror Agony Column's final record of an absorbing trio ascends from the oily black sky, coats the landscape in fetid filth and is never seen again. This time however, the travelling circus has mellowed - still of course finding time to infect the skin with their brand of deathly rock, but also leaning towards a somehow more sinister yet more laid back country twang. The black humour drenches the record as the twisted hillbilly jog of 'Small Black Toad' bewitches the wife, and 'Flying Sorceress' drenches the bath mat with its grunge infested doom. A few of the tracks are quite welcoming even as they drag on for over 8 minutes a shot, and believe me, these shots don't go down too easily - instead they claw at the back of the throat like some super strength ooze straight from the river bottoms of nowhere. 'Silver Spoon' has a bayou twinge whilst nine-minute chugger 'When The Dark Clouds Return' reminds us why we don't trust Agony Column. The band flirt with the sinister and also the comedic effortlessly, because the laboratory they own is one of macabre yet almost humorous specimens. Riff's can batter you but then caress, lead you astray, into quicksand where the insects are huge and the thought of life is worse than death. Agony Column could probably be friends with Danzig, Masters Of Reality and to some extent White Zombie but the difference with these guys is that they are schizophrenic, quite capable of a boogie but quickly followed by a bludgeon. Don't go in the woods...

8.5/10

Stonewashed - Way Of Thorns (1995)

Can anyone tell me anything about this band ? The cover suggests a band far removed from metal, in fact during the mid '90s I wouldn't have been surprised if this had been some bloated indie or grunge record. Metal had lots its shine back then and so many cool acts slipped by the way side - not sure if Stonewashed fit into that category because there's such an air of mystery here. A number of tracks breeze in on almost poppy melody that the listener could be forgiven for turning it off should they expect a metal album, or even a hard rock album for tat matter, but give it a few minutes and suddenly Stonewashed are a fully fledged leather winged monster. It's a hybrid of a chugging Iron Maiden fuelled by exotic grunge - nothing truly weird, just a record out of time and place with anything - I'll slot this alongside The Big F, not because it sounds alike, but because it defies completely, existing on its own - not as a weird project, but as something that doesn't add up. Many a beautiful melody slips into juggernaut rock, the soaring 'Jeannie' doesn't allow the listener to peak into what's coming next, 'Train To Nowhere', 'Outta My Brain', et al, what are they ? is it metal ? Course it is, but it's the type of record that would slip by even though it probably features major characters from metal's past - I dunno, I'm just guessing because Stonewashed keep me guessing. It's a good record, but the '90s have carved off its identity and allowed it to slip away...don't know what else to say. It's hard to fathom so give it a listen on You Tube because you'll be hard pressed to find an original.

7.5/10

Ignitor - Road Of Bones (2006)

When I saw the album cover I thought these guys were from the '80s, or early '90s. I've read several reviews which state that Ignitor come across musically as a mix of chugging Anthrax and Overkill, and in some cases I'd agree, but when the vocals of Erika kick in this is clearly a different metal machine. 'Scarlet Enigma' is a moshing monster but there's an air of mysticism about Ignitor in the classic metal sense. Tales of forgotten lands and magical languages, strange creatures and fiery corners. 'Demon Slayer' is a demon of a track and the crystal clear energy of it all reminds me of Nevermore, especially as the band thrash out a handful of the songs. Sadly, Erika would only last this record - some saying that her vocal style did not suit the metal world, but I disagree. The leather clad maiden more than a match for some of the metal guys out there and great to hear '80s style metal wrenched into the modern ans given a few twists to make it all fit.

7.5/10

Agony Column - Brave Words & Bloody Knuckles (1990)

Welcome again to the hellbilly cult we call Agony Column, a brutal, warped mixture of so many other bands yet still creating its own hole to reside in. A truly unhinged combo of craziness, the beautifully named Bat Lord, Crow, Redwing Viper and Devil Chicken, somehow reaching a peculiar level of seriousness on this record as they belch out a full metal wallop of a record that nods to everything and nothing else. Somehow the title track buzzes like insane Trouble perched on a Slayer riff like some predatory vulture waiting to strip the flesh from your gnarled bones. 'Crime & Punishment' has a dark thrashing riff and insane vocal sneer whilst White Zombie are left squirming in the oily backwoods wake of 'No Time To Kill'. 'Brave Words...' is an orgy of the damned, a procession of the whacked out and zany but still the band manage to have an accessible appeal, but it never lasts, the listener unsure whether to attempt to last the pace or run and hide behind the garbage cans. Agony Column aren't startlingly original, they just have a knack for the weird and wonderful, and the uncanny ability to inject themselves into the soul like some lethal drug that makes you feel oh so good. White Zombie attempted to put the 'Texas Chainsaw massacre' onto record but they failed due to repetition. Agony Column somehow infect the bloodstream like a video nasty, dragging you in on those maniacal riffs before chewing you up and spitting you out for the dogs.

Half a decade later the band would record their strangest venture yet, but alongside their debut 'God, Guns & Guts', 'Brave Words...' is a formidable record without category and yet one which reminds me of a classic thrash record recorded by the cast of 'Deliverance'. Dangerous and bruising.

8/10