W.A.S.P. - Babylon (2009)

W.A.S.P. were very much part of my heavy-metal upbringing. They rebelled, they threw raw meat around, they strapped half-naked women to chairs on stage, and they rocked. Blackie and company were always glorious in their fiery rage. Naturally, over time, and despite sticking to their guns, the scene they became part of fizzled out and even they sought pastures new. A few concept albums and rock opera's, even a darker sound, but nothing beats that sexsonic groove they produced back in the day. Some would argue that such a sound is at once dated and riddled with cheese, but then again W.A.S.P. wrote some true metal anthems. Even their 'Helldorado' record of more recent times was a rocket up the arse, so where does 'Babylon' see the band venturing ? Well, there's alot of fire on this record....literally. 'Into The Fire', 'Burn', 'Babylon's Burning', 'Seas Of Fire'...and there's that familiar formula of many records gone by...and it still works. Maybe it was because I was there when they screamed 'On Your Knees', maybe it was because i got pulled in by the dark magic of 'Live...In The Raw'...maybe I just have a soft spot for W.A.S.P.

They don't break any new ground but I don't wanna hear W.A.S.P. teasing with industrial funk, I want real metal, and as long as it smokes then it'll continue to work. 'Crazy' and 'Live To Die Another Day' are a rattling good listen. Blackie's vocals may have started to weaken, but it's still that recognisable yelp. 'Into The Fire' is clearly another return to form, a companion to the awesome W.A.S.P. classic 'Sleeping In The Fire'. With metal it doesn't matter how much it's not 'in' anymore, or how big it gets, the factor is, it continues to rule, and mainly due to the fact that the classic bands refuse to die and continue to show the new kids just how its done. 'Babylon' is a real heavy metal album, what more do you want ?

7.5/10

Cheap Trick - The Latest (2009)

Okay, so I've been a bit of a criminal by not reviewing any Cheap Trick albums on this blog, but then again, there's always more to come. Here's a band, who, next to Enuff Z Nuff manage to use hordes of Beatles hooks and melodies but somehow get away with it. I don''t know how they do it, but 'The Latest' is a fantastic record that should see them filling stadiums, but which of course won't. Cheap Trick have always been underrated, their sugary rock all about sweetness and light, and the occasional tear. I don't personally think they are as mighty as Enuff Z Nuff but there's enough on offer here to suggest what we've always known, that most of the more successful bands in the world are crap and the coolest bands never get anywhere. Cheap Trick have been around for decades, but somehow they continue to evoke images of hazy days and love-filled summer's. 'The Latest' pines, swoons and dips its strawberry into the sugar, making you think you've heard every track before, possibly on a Beatles record, and yet somehow it still sounds new and refreshing. 'When The Lights Are Out' just sounds like a timeless classic of upbeat melody. It's hooks are in and you'll be humming it forever. 'Miss Tomorrow', 'These Days', 'Miracle'...utterly beautiful and majestic, evoking images of Lennon and Macca. It really is that good at times. Of course, the band can still rock, 'Sick Man Of Europe' and 'Alive' are big groovers, but again, it's back to those sweeping , soul-searching tracks which are born to be classics, if only in the minds of the metalheads fortunate enough to hear it. Gorgeous.

8.5/10

Church Of Misery - Houses Of The Unholy (2009)

When some musical genre's get saturated there are always a handful of bands who can oull you from the quagmire out into the light. The 'doom metal' genre has spewed out some cracking bands ever since Black Sabbath crawled out of their beds. A lot of these bands are imitators, some keen to jump on the retro bandwagon and shake their boogie doom. Other bands just try to be so heavy, but become tiresome in their plodding whilst other bands become 'stoner' and simply bathe all to much in the mighty weed. However, with Church Of Misery there's that simple motive - to pummel the listener. This isn't stoner, this doom rock 'n' roll...albeit serial killer obsessed. Sure, thousands of bands have glorified the sick and perverse ways of certain killers, but Church Of Misery seem genuinely seedy in their worship of sadists such as Albert Fish. Fused with samples of radio coverage and quotes from the actual killers, 'Houses..' is a monstrous record which provides a soundtrack to the extraordinary crimes that shocked the world. Those knowledgeable of serial killers will have heard of Richard Speck and Charles Starkweather, but it's the sheer dirtiness of the grooves that defies. Imagine Led Zeppelin only a thousand times heavier with a gritty vocal sneer...total doooomm! Church Of Misery aren't ponderous, but simply remove your teeth by vibrating the walls in their gargantuan riffage.

Forget the 'stoner' crap, this is the apocalypse right here, right now. Not for the faint-hearted or those offended by serial killers!

7.5/10

SIXX A.M. - The Heroin Diaries Soundtrack (2007)

Released on the back of his fascinating book of the same name, 'The Heroin...' sees rock god extraordinaire Nikki Sixx emerge with a sharp-shooting band with an unexpected twist. Wrapped up in a more polished and slightly Gothic sound, Sixx A.M., which is Sixx on bass, DJ Ashba on guitar and James Michael on vocals, are far removed from anything Sixx has done before. This is hip, modern, nu-metal laced at times, and dark but in an almost commercial rock way. Some would argue that James Michael's vocals are little too straight laced, but then again, Sixx has worked with a variety of stars and this time requires a voice to portray his emotions, fears and pains. This is the Sixx story on record, but does it reach the heights we expected ?

Well, at times yes. 'Van Nuys' is a dark epic of streetwise beats and crushing Gothic chorus, beautifully orchestrated, dramatic, theatrical. 'Life Is Beautiful' is an immense track, sweeping yet classic, that opening riff wouldn't be out of place on the latest Crue album, but the surprise once again comes in the vocals. James Michael certainly adds a sensitive side to the weight of sound, in fact vocally there is a lack of real identity here, but the chorus is immense, and the softness and hardness compliment one another perfectly. Ashba is a fantastic guitarist who has since joined the G 'n' R ranks, and 'Life...' is one helluva emotional track, a modern rock song for the airwaves.

'Pray For Me' is equally as cool, and it's here that James Michael excels himself. A crunching groove accompanied by his dark-laced vocal croon which builds to an immense chorus, and this continues with the superb 'Tomorrow'. Although having a strong commercial edge, the last two cuts show Sixx's ability to write on demand songs which aren't just about girls and sex. 'The Heroin Diaries...' is a deeply serious record, clearly drawn from painful experiences. However, I do have one complaint. 'Accidents Can Happen' is wistful enough to belong on a stage! And I'm not sure this is a good thing. Don't get me wrong, it's a cleverly constructed track, but again, this is where the problem lies with James Michael's delivery, a soft-rock crooner who remains hidden behind any barrage of riffage, but who soulfully floats above the more emotional strains of the tracks. 'Dead Mans Ballet' causes quite a rumble however, but the album does follow a familiar theme once James Michaels vocals interact with the subtle sound which he eases after the original blast. 'Permission' is quite 'Euphoric' as a track, lush in its arrangement and 'Courtesy Call' has a dark, Gothic edge that cuts deep. The album ends with 'Life After Death', and will probably leave most listeners compelled but not overly satisfied. But then again, I think this is a more personal album for Sixx, but despite the flaws of James Michael's delivery, there are some brilliant tracks on offer here and an album layered with emotion.

8/10

Malice - License To Kill (1987)

Straight to the point but reasonably good metal without pulling any punches. The photo's on the band may give you an idea that Malice like to shred those instruments, and pouting vocal prince James Neal has a fair set of lungs. Surprised to see Megadeth's Dave Mustaine and Dave Ellefson on a few tracks contributing backing vocals also. This is certainly late night radio metal, when the parents are in bed and the headphones are on, light a candle and be taken away by the beef of those riffs and soaring vocals.

No real thrills to speak of , this is simply solid metal that would never dare veer from its identity, although some would debate as to whether it has an identity in a field of so many other accomplished, but middle of the road rock acts. Kinda like watery Lizzy Borden, or softer Priest, with that every American haze to its sound. It doesn't pound, mainly because it's lacking any kind of attitude in its corporate guise. Quite like the album cover although maybe it's their to detract from the normality of proceedings. Like I said, it's solid rock but lacking the grease and tends to go in such a formulaic direction without effect.

Quite liking the streak of darkness in that riff to 'Christine' but I'm not sure how I'm meant to be reacting. Even so, it's at times frustrating in its lack of image but it's still a metal record worth hearing, just don't pay too much for it!

6.5/10

Metal Church - The Human Factor (1991)

One of metal's most underrated yet wonderfully talented acts. Here's a band who've grown from their thrash roots to incorporate a classical metal stance, but still remaining as powerful and intelligent as say, Megadeth. Terrible album (possibly influenced by the sickly alterno-metal scene at the time ?) cover hides another clinical record of power thrash. Mike Howe's remaining one of the best and most diverse vocalists in the genre, this is extremely progressive metal for anyone looking for thinking man's metal. In fact the intelligence shines through because after reading the seemingly cheesy lyrics to the title cut, one would think it difficult to get away with such an all too honest set of lyrics.

Metal Church may lack the imposing arrogance of other bands, especially those who sell out stadiums, but this is equally as energetic and important rock music. The instruments fuse together to erect a huge wall of searing sound for Howe to Sneer through. Cool grooves, memorable choruses and no issue excluded. It's a if the messages left by Priest in the '80s which I ignored, have now been polished and re-presented to me by Metal Church. Highly technical, refreshing, cold steel grooves, just check out the almost funky strut mid-section of 'Date With Poverty', but it's done for keeps, no slacking, just burning metal. Lyrically a superb record, but so much to take in, those crisp guitars, the ear-shredding bass and rumbling drums, a headbanger's paradise but maintaining a complexity of beauty. Cutting edge metal, 'In Due Time', 'In Mourning' and 'Agent Green', all slice and dice the brain like wire across cheese.

Cool band in a very metal way.

8/10

Judas Priest - Defenders Of The Faith (1984)

A more hoarse Halford bellows and wails through that crotch-grabbing soundtrack 'Freewheel Burning'. I can see it now, leather-clad studs on big, bad bikes and frizzy haired harlots giving admiring glances over their lacy shoulders. Priest at their best are a formidable act, but at their cheesiest they often fall short. Thankfully 'Defenders...' shatters any fears as Tipton and Downing begin on volume ten. Sharp, clinical hell hath no fury metal meltdown. Back in the day I wasn't actually much of a fan and have found the band's recorded output slightly irritating, often lukewarm and patchy, but when on form they smoke. 'Defenders...' has all the perfect ingredients to be a soul destroying metal menagerie of raging beasts.

Full of fist-pumping and holocaustic headbangers, ya know what ya gonna get with 'Jawbreaker', Holland's rattling cymbals crashing through the night, the guitars leaving fire in their wake. Strangely as well, it seems that Priest's lyrics, which seem so terribly cliched, do in fact work so much better than thousands of other bands. I guess they were one of the first to get the metal pandemonium down to a 't', hell fires, raging storms, dead of night, you know the score, ripping flesh for the sake of burning metal. The message is simple with Priest because at times they had the power and intensity to deliver it. Admittedly, when they failed, they were a corny bunch, but when they succeeded they stoked the fires for the early days of metal like no other. It's no surprise so many bands were influenced by such chest-pounding, domineering and leathery rock 'n' roll.

Priest are vital to metal and when they staked their place, they made themselves fossils in the framework of the genre for all to see, hear and be inspired by.

8/10

Treponem Pal - Excess And Overdrive (1993)

Impure rantings from industro-rockers Treponem Pal, somewhat angry cult rockers who I've admired for years alongside Ministry and The Young Gods. 'Excess...' is the bands third opus, a clattering think-tank of grey smoke and buzzing rock angst. Vocal sneer courtesy of the brooding Marco Neves. Strangely, I put the more hideous streaks of Faith No More alongside this fiery bunch than any of the funk metal crap that emerged during the alterno-metal explosion. Just lose yourself in the horrifying rages of 'Out of Reach' and clanking strains of 'Pushing You Too Far', to appreciate the madness and iron void this band creates. This is real alterno-metal, forget the slabs of grunge for students. I'd much rather get a rusty hook in the cheek from TP as Sall's drums pulverize like some demonic march into the apocalypse. Far from the depressing plateau that some would have had you believe back in the '80s and '90s, this kinda stuff is gloriously Gothic in its vision, and deliriously punk in its venom.

Reminds me of a more orchestrated and genuine Swamp Terrorists, who I felt sampled too many riffs at times. 'Excess...' is a razor blade across the face invitation to the underbelly metal.

7.5/10

Trash - Watch Out (1984)

Well, the guys look pretty serious on the cover, and it's very European, but it harbours quite a groove. That opening cut is pretty full-on, and whilst slightly out of tune, vocalist Tony Roy Taylor is quite an imposing figure. Kinda classic hard rock mixed with a hint of sleaze and leathery pout. Reminds of Scorpions' Klaus Meine in the vocal department although by track four, albeit a decent rendition of Lou Reed's 'Vicious', I'm finding it a bit grating, simple as it doesn't go anywhere. Sure, there are bands, i.e. Riot, who can provide quality rock throughout without ever doing anything seemingly drastic, but Trash just lack that special something. Sure, 'Born To Be On The Top' is a pure rock 'n' roll anthem, and the title cut embeds itself in you like a chain to the face. I dunno, maybe I need to listen to this more in the dark, because for all of its effort and rolling grooves, there's something plain about it. Maybe I'm just not in the mood, but it's still worth a listen or two.

6.5/10

Mortal Sin - Mayhemic Destruction (1987)

I love the album cover, even if it's as predictable as the journey within. Admittedly, these were the kind of thrash records I existed on as a teenager. Solid riffs, often mid-paced, from the drum laden thud of opening instrumental 'The Curse', pretty formulaic, but I prefer 'Mayhemic...' to the more polished 'Face of Despair'. Looking back, I don't think there was such a thing as a corny lyric, because so many bands were aiming for the same atmospheres and imaginings. 'Women In Leather' is not the greatest thrash title, especially when you consider what bands such as Metallica and Slayer were thrashing out at the time. But again, I'll defend this kind of thrash, because its robust, its a healthy diet and intoxicating in its production because although it lacks originality, I simply find it endearing.

Australian thrash never got the credit it deserved but this sonic assault wouldn't be uncomfortable alongside the likes of Testament, Exodus and the likes. A relatively short record at eight tracks, again, this was the formula back in the day, and often hiding behind an artistic cover. 'Blood, Death, Hatred', 'Mortal Laughter' and the title cut follow a familiar vein, but it works for me. i don't think a majority of thrash dates, maybe it's because I was there to appreciate at the time as a big scene, but I like to think that bands like Mortal Sin were better than given credit for. Whilst they never had it in them to write a 'Reign In Blood' or 'Master Of Puppets', Mortal Sin still caused a reasonable level of ear destruction!

7/10

Electric Angels - Electric Angels (1990)

This kinda boozy, floozy retro rock 'n' roll is a touchy subject with me. I adore the Faces, Rolling Stones, etc, but it only works occasionally when replicated, i.e. Black Crowes, and quite a few British acts. Electric Angels rely too much on the thorny imitation, with top-hats perched on scruffy heads, paisley scarves and drunken anthems, it's all been done before, and so much better. 'I Believe' is okay, but by the time 'Rattlesnake Kisses' attempts to strut, but instead stumbles, it's a mess of a record. Maybe, just maybe these guys are authentic alley cats, but Hanoi Rocks, New York Dolls, did it far better, and I just can''t hear another sleazy bar stool number in ode to whiskey, cigarettes and lost love.

'True Love And Other Fairy Tales' almost crawls across the line as a reputable dealer in tattooed ecstasy, but nope, it might as well be Poison's 'Every Rose Has Its Thorn'. The Quireboys did a similar bar room brawl, but I just don't think these guys have a rock 'n' roll bone in their bodies. Sure, ya can dress up like Keith Richards and try to sound rusty in the vocal pipes, and getting Bolan and Bowie producer Tony Visconti in shoulda worked some magic. However, Electric Angels, who probably took ten seconds to think of their band name, lean on each other like beer buddies, but I just think there's too much water in the whiskey for yet another band of this ilk to work.

5/10

Roxx Gang - Things You've Never Done Before (1989)

I probably shouldn't like this record as much as I do. Back in the late '80s I may well have scoffed at such leather-clad and lispticked girly boys. However, whilst I expected this to be a lightweight and plastic sounding foray into glitter glam, I was totally wrong. Okay, it's not 'Too Fast For Love', but there's alot of grit here, especially in the riffs of Taylor and Hayes. In fact, Roxx Gang are a pretty decent looking bunch in a once saturated sleaze rock market which mainly comprised of huge hair, lots of make-up but little talent. 'Things You've...' has a darker side to its glam-slam thank you mam scenario's.

The darker side is boosted moreso by the drool of Kevin Steele who flits somewhere between AC/DC's Bon Scott and Faster Pussycat's Taime Downe. Big anthems and dirty licks don't elude here, the band seem to rather effortlessly compile a collection of pretty nifty sleaze rock stompers, all dealt with in an almost lazy grime. 'Scratch My Back' and the slower 'No Easy Way Out' will hook their claws in to your head, but this isn't a case of cliche and hairspray delight. 'Race With The Devil' burns up the road, 'Red Rose' is a slo-burning sexual gothic grind, but there's no corniness here, in fact, the album is bereft of fakery and cheese despite what you might immediately think when you read titles such as 'Too Cool For School' or 'Need Your Sex'.

7/10

Accept - restless & Wild (1982)

These German metallers didn't start off too good but by album four they were putting out a noise which all metallers back in the day would've craved. Imagine AC/DC meeting a volcano, and you'd have some idea of Accept's style of rock 'n' roll metal. 'Balls To The wall' was a very classy follow-up, but the dirt, grime and punishment dished out by 'Restless...' enables it a points victory. More than solid, straight from the soul and simply raging like a wild beast. Udo's vocal attack is fiery to say the least, the grooves are huge, the musicianship tight and inspiring metallers across Europe. 'Fast As A Shark', 'Shake Your Heads', 'Flash Rockin Man'...flames are burning bright in the darkness of the metal vacuum. Accept remain a strong act in the field, constantly producing fine metal, but during the early '80s when Satan beckoned, these German rockers pulled no punches. they may not have had the image of some bands, but their craft was admired, and their ability to write headbanging anthem one after another in such a stylish and hammering way, has kept them in good stead ever since.

Of course, even if bands of this ilk are able to continue to produce the goods, then great, but us traditionalists will always look back at the good old days and point out such monumental recordings which acted as guiding lights of the genre.

8/10

Fates Warning - The Spectre Within (1985)

Very good album for its time, and even today, Fates Warning were lumped in with the thrash lads, but what this band do actually do is write progressive metal. Think of a mix of Queensryche, Maiden, Priest, Rush, with a thrashy edge - huge cult act, although sales certainly didn't clock up for this type of techno-metal. Often alienating for your average metalhead, soaring vocals, cleverly constructed tracks, riffs and solo's all over the place, kinda like sitting in a dark room of cold steel walls. To some this is bewildering, perplexing yet brilliant..others may find it uneventful, self-indulgent and tricky. I'm not sure where I stand, it's not got the appeal of say Watchtower or Cynic, and I've never been a fan of Rush, Queensryche etc, but like Progressive Rock in the late '60s and early '70s, Prog' Metal is an acquired taste, but if you can sit through the twelve-minute 'Epitaph' then maybe this is for you. For me, I'm always searching for sex or Satan on a record.

6.5/10

Voivod - Nothingface (1989)

After the strange plateau of 'Dimension Hatross' comes another slice of Voivodian freakiness. 'Nothingface' continues in the vein of the previous record, the inclusion of Pink Floy's 'Astronomy...', an inkling as to what world's these band are aiming to conquer. How Voivod have evolved is truly incredible, their punky brash thrash now morphing into a weird psych machine. The clattering, jerking groove of 'Unknown Knows' has a funky flavour, and the robotic spasms of of the title cut will leave the headbangers retiring to their bedrooms defeated. Immense, cutting, shifting awkwardness, making Voivod one of metal's most original acts of violence, easily able to create bizarre soundscapes and concepts which in our reality have no right to exist.

'X-Ray' is film noir meets techno suspense, these guys were alterno-metal even before Faith No More decided to rip up the rule book. Soaring choruses portraying purple clouds of Lovecraftian monstrosity. Voivod, one moment punky, the next funky with a blend of '60s surrealism, and that shuddering bass of Blacky still evident as Away patters the skins. If you were there back in the thrash days, you'd appreciate Voivod's alarming progression...no such form could stand still or remain within a genre, but in doing so they've constructed a weird planet for themself, and although many have attempted to take the ride, it remains the most awkward of journeys for those not in the Voivid bubble. It must be said also that Voivod boast possibly the best album covers in metal...created of course but drummer Away.

8/10

Warrant - Cherry Pie (1990)

I tell ya the problem with Warrant...they're just ugly. I can take hair metal with a pinch of salt especially when occasionally the genre produces some quality bands, i.e. Spread Eagle, even Kik Tracee etc. 'Cherry Pie' was a big record (Warrant's second album)...for me it's just a lush lump of ice-cream. Five scrawny guys who probably watched too much porn, shagged too many ugly bimbo's, it's the same old bombastic tales of lost love, found love, dirty love, innuendo, acoustic rambling,...ho-hum! Tries to be the younger brother to Crue's 'Dr Feelgood', musically it's adequate although there's something manufactured about this...five scrawny guys with women's hair and no dress sense telling stories we don't wanna hear anymore. Those lovely choruses, Jani Lane attempting to pout...well yeah it works when you look like a fish...I dunno, where these kind of guys bullied at school and think that by forming a rock band will make them hard ? Oh, I'm such a cynic. Sure, the songs are catchy, the production is big and clean and cushioned, courtesy of Beau Hill, but is there any difference between this and say Bon Jovi's housewives-only rock dross ?

Guess 'I Saw Red' is five scrawny guys trying to write a cool rock ballad, but it's just not real is it. Five scrawny guys in cowboy boots flicking their hair about, questioning their love as every video sees some satin-laced porn star draped over a vehicle as the wind blows her tresses, oh so sexual...apparently the bands next opus 'Dog Eat Dog' moved away from the gushing..I'm sure the women loved 'Cherry Pie', fuck knows why because if I was a bird with a brain I'd have as cool taste as me!!!!

Five scrawny guys who should have taken a leaf out of Tesla's book. 'Bed Of Roses'...come on, where do they get these titles ? The Mills & Boon of metal.

5/10

Motley Crue - Theatre Of Pain (1985)

Nope, I don't know what happened either...more hairspray and lipstick than a trannie's boudoir, the band look good, but the metal is turned down considerably and the sleaze has been disinfected. Sixx clearly thinking it's time to hit Hollywood big time, and whilst 'City Boy Blues' attempts some kind of crash bang wallop, Mars' guitar seems sharper, cleaner...there's a polished feel and look about the whole record...and two tracks in and we're already associating our mood with the mask of tragedy on the front as the dire 'Smokin In The Boys Room' filters through. Coupled with Twisted Sister's 'Be Cruel To Your School', this has to be one of those anthem's to drag a whole genre down. Sure, us kids were at school but in bands like Crue we wanted attitude, sleaze and Satan, not bloody songs about being naughty at school. And that's the problem with 'Theatre...', despite it having a small place in my heart, it slumps dramatically from the bands first two records, paling considerably in comparison, reminding me more of Ratt with its squeaky nature and the anthem's just refuse to rock...'Save Our Souls', 'Raise Your Hands To Rock'...what's going on! And sure, the scarf waving anthem of all anthem's, 'Home Sweet Home' is a bona-fide Crue classic nowadays, but such a lightweight track seems to only inject more prettiness and dampness into the record. A saviour does come in the raw 'Louder Than Hell' which would seem more suited to 'Shout...', finally Vince breaks from that girly warble and gets a bit of rust in the throat, backed by Mars' cutting guitar and Lee's solid drum attack, but these highs are so short-lived, because turning this record up to ten just doesn't have any effect...I dunno, maybe it's the production, maybe it's Crue's direction into the velveteen world of drugs, spandex, lycra and porn, but 'Theatre...' reeks of pain, but it still, deep down has the ability to strut, fuck and pout like no other, I just wish the band had stayed in league with sleazy Satan, instead of moving out of the dungeon into a penthouse...

6.5/10

Bitch - The Bitch Is Back (1987)

Good name...good cover, showing singer Betsy posing like some Page Three model. I'm looking at the titles, 'Do You Wanna Rock', 'Hot & Heavy', 'Head Banger', Turns Me On', ooohh...and 'Skullcrusher', sounds like It'll be an in your face metal bonanza.

Released by Metal Blade Records, Bitch play pretty standard metal, but hey, what do you expect with those titles ? Admittedly, I'm rather charmed by the album, maybe it's Betsy's slightly off-key wails, and of course that album cover which would have enticed many a young metal head, but the good thing with Bitch is that they actually do rock. So many female fronted acts of the '80s tended to blurt out rather soft metal, but Bitch attempt to gallop along, and the backwards record effect of 'Hot & Heavy' may well have had a few naive metallers scrambling for their crucifix, in fact it's a pretty decent metal anthem. Dingy, fantasy-driven, abit like watching 'Sword & The Sorcerer', and that's where this album aims, at the testicles of every young metalhead in his room illuminated by the glow of candles and leered at by those sullen sockets of plastic skulls.

There's a lot of standard metal around, and a lot of it actually works by being just that. You only have to look at the muscular frame of the pretty boys behind Betsy and check out those hairy chests, to realise that Bitch are gonna be fun. The more I glare at that cover the more I'm entranced by Betsy's qualities, of course, it could be her half-nakedness causing the stir, but enough of that, let's think of metal and not her petal...

6.5/10

Smashed Gladys - Smashed Gladys (1985)

Pretty convincing glam-sleaze, Sally Cato on vocals does indeed have a cat-scratch fever, only downside being their rendition of 'Metal guru'. I'm a Bolan worshipper so even a good cover if his work will not be praised by me...call it religious naivety. Anyway, Smashed Gladys play a pretty raw groove, bolstered by Cato's rawk-rawk, the band probably playing the drunken rock 'n' roll star vibe a bit too much, but I'm sure alot of mascara was smudged in the recording of this debut. Meatier than Kiss, more fulfilling than L.A. Guns, rather predictable but good time party metal. A shame that these kind of bands always seem to base their entire look on Marc Bolan yet remain bereft of panache or glitter despite the pouting and big hair.

Okay, '17 Goin On Crazy' is wham-bam-thank-you-mam glam rock, played simple, and it certainly works better with Cato on the vox instead of drafting in some pretend glam god-cum-ladyboy, and the trademark Kiss stomps do intervene once too often. But...but...there is a charming quality to Smashed Gladys, I'm just being picky for no reason because it's clear that these kind of bands only exist to be rock 'n' roll, even if the authenticity is often questioned, but you know what you're gonna get so just take a swig and crash the party...and then go home and play New York Dolls instead.

7/10

Ratt - Reach For The Sky (1988)

A rather artsy-fartsy cover, but better than seeing the band once again all spread eagled under the bandanna's...oh, that's inside. 'Reach For The Sky' is a more lush outing, but inevitably the band continue to remain in the huge shadows cast by bands such as Crue. This record coming just as metal was becoming slightly alternative, and when put next to records by Love/Hatea few years later, this may well not exist, but that would be cruelly dismissive. Ratt have been there and done it, even if lacking the quality, although the sales have suggested some kind of popularity...with the girls maybe! Okay, 'City To City' is a typical nosedive into Ratt's cauldron of sleazy rock and that guitar intro to 'I Want A Woman' kinda tells me why Ratt have never scaled the heights. Pearcy's vocal sneer reminds me of a young Alice Cooper, but the tone lacks the oomph, as does the music, it's like Twisted Sister without the drama. Possible lack of personality within the band seems a focal point for critics, because despite some of the tunes on offer being above the standard, Ratt, just like in their videos, may have a liking for the satin and cloudy, but we've seen and heard it all before. Crue's Vince Neil is no vocal good but someone his cheese enables Crue's leathery sleaze and stadium rock to work, Ratt on the other hand attempt to strut ('Way Cool Jr') and swagger into the arena but I'm just not convinced. At times I want to be, but maybe it's the image and lack of bite that leaves me a little numb.

Those crisp and squeaky riffs the epitome of mid-'80s pompous rock. Made for MTV, played by college kids who get drunk on two beers.

6.5/10

Riot - Fire Down Under (1981)

I may never be able to get to grips with the album covers this band opts for, reminding me of mid-'90s rock, but their sound is an instant success. These guys have been around a while, and this slab has been considered one of, if not their best opus, opening with the rip-roaring 'Swords & Tequila', this is all-out metal, snappy, sharp and fizzing, Guy Speranza's enigmatic howls and wails riding on the waves of superb guitar licks, aching grooves and ten free-burning cuts. Classic heavy rock which once again failed to attract the masses, but let's face it, it's too cool anyway for the major labels. 'Feel The Same' struts through the darkness, building into an orgasmic Zeppish groove, never sounding dated, always maintaining the magic. I admit to being introduced to this band rather late, but I always recall the album covers which probably put me off at the time, but once lost in their maze of hot grooves, I can't get enough. The name Riot just about sums up the nature of the band, giving us an almost British inspired platter of cool as steel rock 'n' roll, timeless in its soul, and rendering the likes of Whitesnake as lifeless in comparison. Gargantuan yet effortlessly cool. Cutting edge American rock needing not the aid of lipstick and ego to bolster its strut. 'Fire Down Under' was born beautiful..

8.5/10

Anvil - Forged In Fire (1983)

there's no mystery to Anvil, they are just quality heavy metal that belong in the collection of every denim-clad metaller. That opening riff to the title cut couldn't be out of place on a Slayer record, it's immense, it's dark and the sparks are already flying off the record deck. This the bands third record, a true slab of monster metal, slot nicely alongside the best efforts of Judas Priest and Sword, the latter being one of my favourite metal acts and so criminally underrated. Anvil display the same effortless, monolithic thunder, vocally 'Lips' just cruises through these doom-laden epics, backed by the weighty grooves of his own lead guitar and fellow fretster Dave Allison. Ultra cool in its power to decimate, Dickson's bass cracks the pavement and the drum assault of Robb Reiner embarrasses all competition. The band shift with ease between slo-mo heavy rock to hyper, hysteria, raising the flames, stoking the fires, congregating the armies of sweat and blood. Pounding, and wonderfully-executed heavy metal at its finest...Anvil becoming somewhat of a cult act who never reached the big time which should have called by the time their second album 'Metal On Metal' had emerged.

If you're after full on , raging, stomping, fist-pumping metal then you'll find yourself engulfed by 'Never Deceive Me' and 'Winged Assassins', oh and one other thing, any band who can make a song called 'Butter Bust Jerky' sound cool, must be doing something right.

8/10

Bitch's Brue - We May Not Be American But Still We **ck (1989)

I expected this to be an awful weak glam rock imitation from the UK...how wrong was I. Bitch's Brue may have a terrible name, the album cover may attempt some kind of Americanised hairspray pomp, but inside that black wax actually lurks a good little angry record. Fronted by the raven-haired Fiona Clarke, who also plunders through bass, this foursome actually grind out a leathery disc which acts as a cousin to Motley Crue's 'Shout At The Devil'. This ten-tracker may have the worst album title of all time, maybe the band were going for controversy, but not when we find out that the '...**ck' in the title simply means 'rock', but even so, these are petty quibbles for an album that really tries hard to make itself heard. 'Let The Boys', 'Jack Back Into Rock', etc, etc, are anthems of poverty metal, screams from British soil which never caught alight in regards to the Hollywood glam fad. A shame that Bitch's Brue would have been swept up under the carpet, because this is quite a raw record featuring some adequate guitar work and bassy sound. Not mind-blowing but it's always nice to come across records that slap you in the face when you least expect it.

I don't know a thing about Bitch's Brue, and I'm sure the band members are probably working in a garden store nowadays, but lend your ear to their sound, you could do a lot worse, because this has more attitude than a god deal of US-based fakery.

7/10

The Rods - The Rods (1981)

The band picture on the front and the back doesn't leave a lot to be desired...are these guys builders on a tea-break ? The Rods play a solid slab of hard rock, a watered down Motorhead with a few AC/DC boogie riffs ('Music Man'), a bit of later The Who...especially in those curly locks! Straight forward bluesy, truckin', cliche'-laden rock 'n' roll. It tries to be serious and I guess it can be taken seriously, but it's so middle of the road, the look, the clenched fists and tight denim...and so many do it better, but I have a soft spot for the record. When things are cranked up...like on...um...'Crank It Up', it's all quite pleasant. 'Get Ready To Rock 'n' Roll'...it's standard fair, but the reality is, when I am ready to rock 'n' roll, I need something more than The Rods.

5.5/10

Mordred - The Next Room (1994)

When I heard that Scott Holderby had left the band, it was as if someone had died. When you’re a teenager wrapped up so heavily in music, and in certain bands that you take on as if they are your own, band changes effect you also…it’s bizarre. I rang the London Noise offices who kind of smirked at the split. I received a letter from drummer Gannon Hall who claimed that Scott had been involved in fisticuffs with one magazine reporter, but worst of all was when I heard that they were carrying on without him. Now, don’t get me wrong here, but bands can remain cool with new members but Scott’s style was very much what Mordred were about in the same way Pause had become part of the furniture as such. And when you release three records with that person it’s not easy to replace them, especially when that person had a real originality about them, and stamped themselves so effectively upon the career of the band.I heard the Acrophobia ‘single’ and threw it up the wall!

Sure, this is all about opinion and I’m sure the sound on The Next Room may well have gained the band a few more fans, because in a nutshell, this opus is power-grunge-metal, something akin to Corrosion Of Conformity’s mighty 'Blind' and and also Alice In Chains records…only nowhere near as good, and that hurts to say that. So, in came new vocalist Paul Kimball, a throaty mover of some power which is great if you like Pantera and the nu-metal breed of vocalist, but this just doesn’t work. This wasn’t Mordred, despite Gannon Hall saying this was his best drumming performance or whatever.

Mordred meanwhile had become stream-lined, more metal, less thrash, and far less cool, with any kind of experimentation sounding almost awkward next to power metal riffs. Was this a way of attracting a metal audience ? Whose idea was this ? Yet, for over almost an hour I had to sit there thinking, “…what the hell is this all about ?”. 'The Next Room' is bland, despite some decent lyrics and experimentation, but Kimball’s vocals are extremely dull despite their power, Pauses’ scratches mundane and predictable and the tracks are forgettable, despite such ridiculous titles such as 'Rubber Crutch' and 'Murray The Mover'. Are you serious ?

Tracks such as 'Lo-Cal, Hi-Fiber' and 'Skid' skip by without effect, at times Kimball seems to slip into a Holderby mode, it doesn’t work. There’s even a track called 'Crash', yet it has nothing to do with the original the band recorded. It seems to have a hangover from 'Vision' in its slo-mo approach and it’s pointless, and by this time you’re left wondering what direction they are taking. 'Splinter Down' is run-of-the-mill metal, nothing more, a mediocre six-minute ramble that never changes pace, and then we have Aaron’s contribution, a jazz-club special called 'Shut' that doesn’t fit onto a record bereft of coolness. It’s actually better than 'Close Minded', sewn together by a wailing sax but ruined by Kimball’s non-descript vocal yell, which pretty much drowns the whole record, as well as the samey riffs of mundanity. Shall I go on ?

'Pauper’s Wine' sounds like the hideous mess that is Nickleback, suggesting an almost polished grunge feel, 'Acrophobia' is okay…for another band, at times catchy, with a chorus that suits Kimball’s voice, but it’s regular stuff, the same formula through-out, and on 'Murray The Mover' things get a little embarrassing, Kimball’s gravelled voice just not accustomed to singing what are an attempt at ‘groovy’ lyrics, enough said. 'In A Turn' is another soulful cut naked without Holderby’s execution, 'The Trellis' is bland, 'The Next Room Over' a drab instrumental affair, splashed with the almost now predictable scratching and the final track, 'Rubber Crutch' begins like some ‘80s metal anthem and never shifts gears from its tiresome routine.Even if you judge this as a separate rock record, 'The Next Room' is a tired affair, lacking most of Mordred’s unpredictability, class and soulful innovation. And even the band must have known this, which is why this opus was the last record, but one which most certainly disassociates itself from the others like some ugly sister.

And don't get me started on the album cover...

4/10

Jellyfish - Bellybuton (1990)

This being the bubblegum power-pop debut from this criminally underrated yet influential band. This certainly slipped into the altern-rock bracket despite lacking any weight to consider it even hard rock. But hear these songs just the once and you'll be hooked by this magical mystery tour of psych-pop and wonderful, blissful harmony. 'The Man I Used To Be' and 'That Is Why' have that hooky, Enuff Z Nuff meets the Beatles meets Cheap Trick via ELO, purely magical, sugary and ridiculously catchy. I recall 'The King Is Half Undressed' making a few noises back in the day, but I can just imagine the talent of these guys being overlooked and swamped by the hordes of bands at the time screaming "Alternative!!!!"

'The King...' begins with a 'Revolver' backwards drum-loop, summery chorus, 'I Want To Stay Home' will have you asking, "Have I Heard This Before ?". Truly inspiring, sad, emotional, supplying the same magic that, dare I say, Mother Love Bone could provide, only this time this is certainly more '60s influenced. Think Crowded House also. Ten tracks of scrumptious, genial music, not really for the metalheads...but who cares, especially when we hear Saigon Kick, Enufff Z Nuff etc, striving for similar bamboozlement.

8/10

Kill City Dragons - Kill City Dragons (1990)

A short-lived rock 'n' roll troop, formed in '89 and fronted by the oddly named Billy G. Bang...but don't let that put you off. This is lipstick 'n' leather, struttin', sweatin' and fuckin' rock, a cool, hard mix of Faces, The Stones, New York Dolls, Hanoi Rocks, Crue, blessed with the superb 'I Don't Want Anything From You', and in Mr Bang, a rough 'n' ready set of pipes who can go from sickly sarcastic glam kid to full-blown, hoarse and screamin' cat.

Hard to actually put this shang-a-lang romp down. Grab a bottle and take to the floor, get wasted, collapse...come back for more. The stompin' 'That Aint No Lie', cool sleazoid grooves courtesy of Steve Von Saint's guitar licks, some super-funky rock 'n' roll struttin', hugely memorable, 'Devil Calling' digs its claws in deep, 'Fastest Way Down' provides glam rock saxophone, a party anthem of hairspray and Jack Daniels.

Something so tragic about the band, maybe it's the desperate rasp of Bang and the fact that this was all the band really did in the studio, yet what a good time was clearly had by all.

Oh no it's only rock 'n' roll...but I like it.

7/10

Bar 7 - The World Is A Freak (2000)

Formed by Tesla members Jeff Keith (vocals) and Tommy Skeoch (guitars), this is ultra cool bluesy hard rock of typically memorable, soulful tunes. Opener 'Freaked' rumbles in like Crue, but 'Four Leaf Clover' is a level-headed slo-burner which melts into the beautiful 'Got A New Life', which really showcases the wondrous talent of these guys and explains as to why Tesla are so cool. This huge track is pure sleaze with a catchy chorus, although the initial chug of 'No Show' suggests Bar 7 are anything but a light weight and cheery rock band. 'No Show' is a sticky sweet rocker, in contrast 'Love Is Such' makes a move like a feline lover.

There's no telling where Bar 7 are going with their lush sound. This is no mere exercise of ego for Keith and Skeoch, but instead a big sounding, swaying and breezy hard rock record. Probably just a one off but another of those must-hear records that caters for every mood.

7.5/10

Katmandu - Katmandu (1991)

Any band fronted by the sultry-piped Dave King, will get my attention. A magic voice, born from the Robert Plant school of hip-shaking vocal chords. Katmandu is King's venture after many years with Fastway, and it was this guy's fiery throat which got me into metal after the 'Trick Or Treat' soundtrack which turned my world upside down. Katmandu is less evil, naturally, but still ultra cool, 'The Way You Make Me Feel' is a sexual boogie strut, 'God Part II' shimmers and slithers across the floor and the next ten tracks follow a similar rip-roaring vein. Bluesy and pumped up guitars, plenty of electric soul, finger-snapping coolness.

'Heart & Soul' begins like pure Zep, and 'Only The Good Die Young' is more Zep for the mind...but this is too cool, too laid back and too real to be considered a poor mimic, instead Katmandu offer a suave and casual blend of slinky rock and blues-based meanderings. I just can't fault the guy's voice, a distinctive rasp which played such a huge part in my metal initiation. So, for me, Katmandu, like Fastway, have halo's perched on their heads.

8/10

Various - Thrash The Wall (1990)

Metal compilations used to be great...often these odd releases would introduce many a metaller to so many cool, unknown bands, so it was always a little confusing when volumes were released featuring mostly known acts. In this case, label Roadracer give us another terrible album title and cover, something they did with the weak 'Stars On Thrash' compilation, but thankfully most of the tracks are decent. Not sure why Motorhead's 'Eat The Rich' is on here, and King Diamond's 'Sleepless Nights' isn't one of his best, but Running Wild's 'Raging Fire' is a decent fist pumper, Sodom's 'Remember The Fallen' is mid paced, cleaner and more melodic than you'd remember Sodom for being, but for me it's the Mordred-esque Paradox, Rage and 'Invisible Horizons' and Atrophy who steal the show. Cool thrash which stands up well alongside the big boys of the album, such as Obituary, Sepultura Annihilator and the rather painful Helloween.

A good fun compilation.

6.5/10

Thee Hypnotics - The Very Crystal Speed Machine (1994)

Hell yeah, check this one out. Thee Hypnotics are a genuine rock 'n' roll experience, if this had been released in the UK after the second coming of Oasis, then I'm sure great things would have been aimed at these guys. A drugged up, sleazy, bluesy mini-masterpiece that mocks The Black Crowes and reeks of Hendrix, Rolling Stones, and Primal Scream. Very cool, psychedelic, lava-lamp loving honky-tonk, bitchin', badass rock 'n' roll. Ignore the occasional instrumental doodlings, and stand aghast at 'Caroline Inside Out' and its dreamy, kaleidoscopic veil, or become as one with the blood, sweat buzz of 'Tie It Up'

Thirteen cuts, (well, eleven without the pissing about tracks)...hammond fuelled, soulful, magical uprising...probably created over a mammoth spliff or two, 'Look What You've Done' is a lost classic, pure bluesy anarchy, this album just has class written all over it without even trying. I hope the band realise how cool they were. Mind you, whilst browsing on Amazon I was rather pleased to see that the people who'd purchased their album had also bought The Front, Bakers Pink and Beautiful Creatures...proof in the coolness.

A stunning record that spends most of its time stoned on its own ego, and that's what makes it such a fine experience. Angels with syrup on their wings.

8.5/10

Tesla - Bust A Nut (1994)

One of the only cool bands to keep the rockers going through the '90s as the grunge wave swamped all. Tesla, a band you can count on for quality songs, consistent rock, hair metal...and the unexpectedly sinister rumblings of opener 'The Gate'. 'Solution' reminds me of that Enuff Z Nuff arse shakin', typically underrated, worth every penny and never corny. 'Try So Hard' may have sounded awful back in the '80s when so many other bands were preaching from their porch, but here the sincerity is huge, and Tesla create a wondrous skyline and also gulf from themselves and countless other acts. With ease able to rump shake, to jive, to swish and to sway...sleaze, glam...hell, the opening strains to 'She Want...' could be Guns 'n' Roses in '89, and 'Need Your Lovin' wipes the floor with Mr Big, who make similar sounds so cringe-worthy despite the shredding.

Tesla play good time rock 'n' roll, smoothly executed, rounded and moreish. A nod to the '80s glam/sleaze scene, but constantly giving the listener something fulfilling, fourteen cuts, so much to offer, from the Aerosmith bump 'n' grinds, and Zepp blues. Easy on the ear, and just nice.

7.5/10

Hallows Eve - Monument (1988)

I love bands like this. Metal thrashing mad, 'Speed Freak' isn't rocket science, it's a head smashing thrash track, at times bog standard, and slowed on 'Sheer Heart Attack', but this doesn't have enough in its locker to even crawl up to the premier league of thrash titans. I'm much preferring the tones of Holy Terror or skate-mosh of D.R.I.

Finally, a thrash album I'm not gonna rave about, although I really liked 'Tales Of Terror'. Very '80s in its style, rather dated unfortunately and bereft of any bite. Awful cover too..

4/10

Sword - Sweet Dreams (1988)

The cover alone got me excited...a delicious skull wrapped by a snake, rather cliche, it looks all the world like so many horror books of its time, but then again, that's the metal magic flowing. Not as bruising as 'Metalized', 'Sweet Dreams' is ten rip-roaring tracks, all of a consistent level but seem to lack the bite and energy of the previous record. Still big sounding, emerging from the mundane and bolstered by beefy musicianship, the thrashy chug of 'Until Death...' would have made for a great live number, whilst mid-pacer 'Life On The Sharp Edge' makes the second half of the record a real joy.

Bombastic power metal which goes out with the bang of 'State Of Shock'. Cool band who can be slotted alongside Meliah Rage, as acts who with ease seem to produce modest work but probably knowing full well that within a fire waiting to burn the place down.

7.5/10

Holocaust - The Nightcomers (1981)

There are certain bands and records which invoke the very essence of what '80s metal, or metal in general is, or was, and should be. 'The Nightcomers' is one of those unintentionally black records, from it's Sabbath-like musings to its New Wave Of Heavy Metal stirrings. Better than Diamond Head and Angel Witch, exhibiting evil and class in one mighty cauldron. That rusty riff of 'Smokin Valves' is pure Glam Rock dirt, the drums intoxicating the eardrums,but wait til' you've heard the crashing riff 'Death Or Glory', or the doomy 'Mavrock'. Holocaust sound so fresh, it's an album that baffles upon each listen, pure rock 'n' roll rebellion that for any unassuming kid at the time would have been quite an experience, especially when you consider the power of the album today. Criminally overlooked, 'The Nightcomers' is a poisonous concoction of sleaze, doomy plodding and mega-metal arrogance. A landscape in itself, a bleak horizon almost as huge and unwelcoming as the industrial anguish created by Sabbath.

8.5/10

Tank - Power Of The Hunter (1982)

Dressed in a rather un-metal cover which could've dragged the band back to the '70s, thankfully, as soon as you give the disc a spin you're overpowered by the stench of pubs and motor oil. Tank once again prove they are hard as nails, grinding out their Motorhead-esque drinkin' metal for the masses. No real thrills, but the Zep strut of 'Some Came Running' is just wicked, and the road-worthy 'Used Leather' fills the nostril with the smell of burning rubber. Not keen on the cover of 'Crazy Horses', but the gravelled approach of 'Set Your Back On Fire' and the skull thumping 'Red Skull Rock' will have you flailing with reckless abandon, but it's the title cut which slices flesh, causes engines to roar and leaves tyre marks scorched on to the soul.

A rollicking record...as expected.

7.5/10

Raven - All For One (1983)

A band whose recorded output over the decades has been very disappointing to say the least. I owned the watery 'Nothing Exceeds...', but if you're going to purchase one Raven record then make it this one. Like an untamed, punky, speeding bull in a china shop, this has more brawn than brains, and remains the bands pivotal release. It's pretty fun metal, 'Take It Away' struts and licks, but Raven are a band who've embedded themselves into metal but who've never been considered notable. Some cool guitars on 'Mind Over Metal', but I really don't know how Martin Popoff gave this record 10/10...bizarre! It's fist pumping, but give me the pounding strains of Sword, Anvil and Tank any time.

7/10

Memento Mori - Rhymes Of Lunacy (1993)

Woe me...woe you. Memento Mori must be great for they feature the monk-like form of chief doom warbler Messiah Marcolin, who made Candlemass such a deity. Once again this is pure Gothic doom, none of that slo-mo' sludge crap, but perfect metal fodder for those who require a crane to lift such heavy records onto their decks. So elegant and flowing, clean sounding, but just so grey and punishing like the inner framework of an empty church. The album is a tapestry of superb guitars, Mike Wead cranking up to ten and pounding the fret boards to produce vast echoes like those in the oldest of monasteries. The drums of Snowy Shaw beautifully epic, and with Marcolin at the helm beneath that frizz of a hairball, Memento Mori ease out of the water like some black dinosaur ready to unveil its unstoppable path of destruction. 'Morbid Fear' is more glorious than Candlemass, the cavernous riffs accompanied by orchestral strains, whilst 'Forbidden Dreams' is technically gorgeous, taking doom metal to new extremes beyond the tried, trusted and crusty ways of the past. Technical yet still epically morose.

8/10

Anthrax - Sound Of White Noise (1993)

No longer interested in moshing, skateboarding or wearing Bermuda shorts, Anthrax move with the times, i.e. a period saturated by the grunge invasion where metal dropped from the hearts of teenagers. Suddenly, Joey Belladonna is out of the band and the New York chuggers are messing with their sound, but was it for the good ? Well, the recruitment of ex-Armoured Saint frontman John Bush was a surprise, but admittedly, the guy has a good, deep bellow, but where does that leave Anthrax ? Not many expected the once gurning, stomping thrashers to hit back with '...White Noise', a slower, far darker, deadly serious and dare say it, grungier record. Dave Jerden, who made his name mixing various records for many an alterno-rock band, is twiddling the knobs here, forming a densely layered, certainly more cutting edge slab. No longer are Anthrax writing comedy tracks, '..White Noise' reflects everything from urban decay to human outrage, it's clear that the band want to go into the '90s with a venom, to be put alongside the likes of Pantera, C.O.C. etc, as a true metal band. Problem is, I'm not wholly convinced but then again, that's my fault for loving 'Spreading The Disease' and 'Among The Living' so much. However, slap this record alongside the likes of Soundgarden, Alice In Chains, etc, and it wouldn't sound out of place and I think the boys knew what they were doing on this opus.

Many reviewers have said this album is under-appreciated, I think it's more a case of fans not sure what to make of it. Yep, occasionally there are the trademark guitar chugs, but the album is drenched in an almost fuzzy logic of industrialised grunge, from the moody 'Black Lodge' to the heavy weight opener ' Packaged Rebellion'. Bruising stuff but possibly too far removed from the days of old ? Again, this is about evolution and the '90s were a huge turning point for countless bands who were made to look rather silly next to the leviathan grooves of say Soundgarden. Anthrax stepped up to the challenge, and probably passed the audition, but I wasn't there to experience it, and I'm thankful of this. Looking back many years later, '...White Noise' smells of a band wanting to be cool, wanting to fit in to survive, and that has to be commended and I guess Joey and the shorts just had to go. I think the cover sums up the album in a nutshell - blurry!

6.5/10

Harem Scarem - Voice Of Reason (1995)

These Canadian rockers have been about...their previous recordings nothing more than lush, but very middle of the road rock...love rock, power ballads, swishy and sweeping but nothing out of the ordinary...and then 'Voice Of reason' hits...and what's happened ? Well, the '90s were a wake up call for metal, many bands, reliant on their satanic imagery basically bit the dust, whilst other bands decided to alter their sound. To some fans this may have been considered a sell-out, in fact some fans would be correct, but there were some bands who had evolve or die a gory death at the hands of grunge. And so, Harem Scarem, after too many sick-inducing radio friendly moments of boredom, went all alternative on us to some extent, and good for them. If anyone has seen the video for the cracking 'Blue', you wouldn't think it was the same band, who originally looked like something from a catalogue with their cropped haircuts, dodgy facial expressions...surely hair metal needs hair ? Anyway, Harem Scarem, albeit for a short time, seemed willing to trade punches with the likes of Enuff Z Nuff, and had echoes of the wondrous Saigon Kick, as the big, bolshy guitars caress the sweeping pipes of Hess. This isn't innovative, but it's sugary and this time the rumoured big songs have some weight and depth, again, 'Blue' shines through (backed by a wonderfully odd video).

Harem Scarem were never alterno-rock but as a step forward 'Voice Of Reason' made all the right moves to keeping in time, and whilst I often croon about so many bands who seem to borrow heavily from The Beatles, Harem Scarem, for a short time could have been one of those lush acts. It didn't last however, but this is an album worth checking out even if it lacks the supreme innovation and catchy wonder of so many other bands before.

7/10

Mercyful Fate - Don't Break The Oath (1984)

Utterly possessed. King Diamond's old band belt out true black metal, not afflicted by the reaching for under-production for shock value, this is sharp, dynamic metal for the kids who truly want to worship the horned one. At once creepy, grim, nightmarish and yet oh so professional, this exists on a diet of blood and candle wax, the King screaming, screeching and grimacing through the Gothic caverns. Echoing through the speakers are demonic wails, searing guitars and drums which sound like phantom hooves entering the passageway.

When I first got into metal I thought King Diamond was some kind of gimmick until I heard the fiery yells of his constructed hell. Forget Judas Priest, this is real metal for the occult-obsessed lunatics. 'Come To The Sabbath' creaks like one of those Dennis Wheatley novels your dad used to read, meanwhile 'The Oath' reeks of that early Iron Maiden stench that so many kids had invade their nostrils. Black smoke billows from the stereo, witches scrape at the windows and King Diamond's spooky lore goes in through one ear, and embeds itself in the human psyche like some kind of parasite. One moment thrash, the next a creeping gargantuan spider of darkly sweet flickering. Ghastly, ghoulish and yet pure metal through and through. Made for the black circle of vinyl. And that, dear metallers, is what you call an album cover!

8/10

Holy Terror - Mind Wars (1988)

I recall buying this thrash album on vinyl, somewhat a cult act although I wasn't sure what happened after this record. Very mid-paced but a fine thrash act with some very catchy tunes, particularly the brilliant 'The Immortal Wasteland' which has a Maiden influence as it gallops along, but it's 'Judas Reward' which enables Holy Terror to rise above a majority of mundane thrash acts. I love this track, beginning slow and heavy with an almost Eastern sounding rhythm but speeds to an almost raw hardcore sound, great vocal attack from Keith Deen also.

Being a metaller meant finding albums like this which were in fact widely available. It's just a shame that so many acts of this ilk weren't appreciated as much at the time and it takes several decades to pass before realising just how cool they were. Some great lyrics and a fine album cover.

7.5/10

Sword - Metalized (1986)

What a smooth monster this is. 'Metalized' is the gargantuan effort of Montreal's Sword who with such ease ooze out this lead weight metal. It's just so big and powerful, reeking of cool, bereft of the corny, and styled on big harmonies courtesy of Rick Hughes who effortlessly belts out these doomy hymns like no other. Vastly underrated, Sword are a giant mechanical animal, 'Stuck In Rock' is a sprawling leech which saps all the concrete from the suburban jungle and cranks amps up to ten. Pretty faultless, straight forward heavy metal that will leave you salivating for more due to its monstrous nature. No real thrills, but the production and musicianship is spot on, the band combing across the power metal genre with a hint of Priest.

'Children Of Heaven' has a darkly Gothic overtone, but it's those buzzing guitars and wholesome vocal attacks which fire the band into the stratosphere. Very heavy in parts, and reeking of that sinister metal menace you'd expect from '80s metal acts. 'Evil Spell' is symbolic of that typical vibe and you'll be hard pressed to find anything more sincere or rocking. This is a slab.

8.5/10

Warhead - Speedway (1984)

Belgian metal that deserves to be noted. Cool cover art reminds me of Grim Reaper's 'Sell You In Hell', but instead Death perches upon a motorbike. Thankfully the sleeve is represented by the searing content of the record which is blazing thrash metal. Vocally the guy's a bit of a warbler on those more reaching notes, but the density of the music due to under-production gives it that cool quality that kids craved back in the 80s. A chug here, a plod there, 'Kill The Witch' begins with a rumbling drum and fizzing guitar, 'Devil's Child' approaches like a prowling predator.

A good record, even if it lacks the bite of some of the more obscure records of the time, but worth checking out.I'm sure the cover will look good in any vinyl collection..

6.5/10