Lock Up - Something Bitchin' This Way Comes (1990)

During the late '80s and early '90s there was no doubt that major label Geffen (the big boys behind G 'n' R) were keen to inject the music scene with some truly diverse bands. Although the record sales may not have lived up to expectations, it's still great that Geffen were responsible for bringing to the world the likes of Warrior Soul, I Love You, and to some extent Lock Up. Fans of Rage Against The Machine will recognise Tom Borello slapping the bass through this record, and will find much to savour - as for me, I find the whole record grows tired all too quick. There's no doubt this is a more sincere brand of funk-o-metal than the more cartoon and weak stuff that emerged at the time. Even so, after a few chugs, lots of cool, thudding bass, and Brad Gillo's almost graceful vocal swoon, it all gets a bit dull. The main problem, despite a handful of good songs is the formula, it all becomes very predictable and 'Nothing New', 'Can't Stop Bleeding', 'Punch Drunk' and 'Peacekeeper', kind of drift by aimlessly, never once making their mark. There is something ever so tame about the record, especially when you consider that Faith No More had pretty much invented a whole scene, a majority of the bands eager to please within it were reasonably tragic, so there was always a torch waiting to be passed on, but in the end FNM preferred to blow it out. This was a scene without any movers or shakers, and Lock Up are a prime example as to why. It's all rather chilled, and the main fault with the machine is Gillo's vocals. Lightweight, watery, bereft of punch, he saunters in without any menace or even colour, and is happy to sing along to the trickling bass and guitar grooves.

My fave cut is the mellow 'Everywhere I Go It Looks Like Rain', but maybe the title of this track expresses just how Gillo feels, because he comes across a tad underwhelming to say the least. For me, the idea of funk, when on its own or alongside any other form of music, is to cause a jig, a stampede, a dance, or even a nod, and this record makes me simply stand, stone-faced, my lack of reaction a reflection of what I'm hearing. Lock Up make Atom Seed seem rockin'!

5/10