Diamond Rexx - Land Of The Damned (1987)

Another of those forgotten glam sleaze acts who had an incredible edge with those weird vocals and fuzzy kinda basement riffs. Sure, there's lipstick, leather and hairspray but the real glam rock knows how to headbang whilst being dressed up in sickly sweet perfume and bloodied rags. Diamond Rexx play the sort of sonic sleaze that Celtic Frost boldly attempted on the twisted 'Cold Lake' record, the anthemic and sickly 'I Wish I Was Rich' belted out over a black riff, clattering drum and OTT vocal. Sneering and spiteful at times, but too obscure and scum-ridden to break it big. Album cover probably didn't help either!

6.5/10

Witch - Damnation (2008)

The wonderfully named Witch were a riff heavy '80s sleaze band clad in leather - albeit torn leather - who hardly released a thing and so 'Damnation' belatedly puts together their 'The Hex Is On' EP and a few other choice, rare cuts to make a 20 track compilation that's certainly worth checking out. Goodness how many similar cool bands were overlooked in the '80s whilst lesser talented and certainly more polished and lightweight 'brands' made a headway. I like the obscure nature of Witch, particularly Allen's gargoyle vocals and those fuzzy, dense riffs which give a sinister edge to the sleaze. Some cool tunes on offer from 'Cinderella (In Black Leather)', 'Wet n Wild', to 'Bewitched' and the clanking, Motorhead glam rock puke of 'Blond Alert'. Certainly the sort of band who woulda been quite happy to have smeared lipstick, powder, paint, blood, vomit and shit on the mirror for added effect. All hail the forgotten bands of sickly glam.

7/10

Ignitor - The Spider Queen (2009)

Mmmm, so, Erika, the queen of vocal pipes flees the nest and now ex-watchtower and metal journeyman Jason McMaster is at the helm - maybe it's Ignitor's way of showing they mean business. Somehow this doesn't seem as effective as the 'Road...' record, but it's still powerhouse metal, this time more inspired by Dio and the runic mayhem of Skyclad. All very mystical and musically sharp, eager to thrash at times, the band clearly experienced at this sort of thing, so the fires are raging hard, but I can't get Dio's wolfen glare out of my head. Something incredibly nostalgic about Ignitor but I can't see it lasting, my lack of faith simply based on the fact that McMaster doesn't seem to stay anywhere for too long but we'll have to wait and see...but I'm more interested in what Erika is doing but it wouldn't surprise me if she's off crooning on some Nordic cruise ship! No prizes for the terrible album cover...nice bum though!

7/10

Agony Column - Way Back In The Woods (1995)

And so it came to be, like some sprawling yet unseen backwoods terror Agony Column's final record of an absorbing trio ascends from the oily black sky, coats the landscape in fetid filth and is never seen again. This time however, the travelling circus has mellowed - still of course finding time to infect the skin with their brand of deathly rock, but also leaning towards a somehow more sinister yet more laid back country twang. The black humour drenches the record as the twisted hillbilly jog of 'Small Black Toad' bewitches the wife, and 'Flying Sorceress' drenches the bath mat with its grunge infested doom. A few of the tracks are quite welcoming even as they drag on for over 8 minutes a shot, and believe me, these shots don't go down too easily - instead they claw at the back of the throat like some super strength ooze straight from the river bottoms of nowhere. 'Silver Spoon' has a bayou twinge whilst nine-minute chugger 'When The Dark Clouds Return' reminds us why we don't trust Agony Column. The band flirt with the sinister and also the comedic effortlessly, because the laboratory they own is one of macabre yet almost humorous specimens. Riff's can batter you but then caress, lead you astray, into quicksand where the insects are huge and the thought of life is worse than death. Agony Column could probably be friends with Danzig, Masters Of Reality and to some extent White Zombie but the difference with these guys is that they are schizophrenic, quite capable of a boogie but quickly followed by a bludgeon. Don't go in the woods...

8.5/10

Stonewashed - Way Of Thorns (1995)

Can anyone tell me anything about this band ? The cover suggests a band far removed from metal, in fact during the mid '90s I wouldn't have been surprised if this had been some bloated indie or grunge record. Metal had lots its shine back then and so many cool acts slipped by the way side - not sure if Stonewashed fit into that category because there's such an air of mystery here. A number of tracks breeze in on almost poppy melody that the listener could be forgiven for turning it off should they expect a metal album, or even a hard rock album for tat matter, but give it a few minutes and suddenly Stonewashed are a fully fledged leather winged monster. It's a hybrid of a chugging Iron Maiden fuelled by exotic grunge - nothing truly weird, just a record out of time and place with anything - I'll slot this alongside The Big F, not because it sounds alike, but because it defies completely, existing on its own - not as a weird project, but as something that doesn't add up. Many a beautiful melody slips into juggernaut rock, the soaring 'Jeannie' doesn't allow the listener to peak into what's coming next, 'Train To Nowhere', 'Outta My Brain', et al, what are they ? is it metal ? Course it is, but it's the type of record that would slip by even though it probably features major characters from metal's past - I dunno, I'm just guessing because Stonewashed keep me guessing. It's a good record, but the '90s have carved off its identity and allowed it to slip away...don't know what else to say. It's hard to fathom so give it a listen on You Tube because you'll be hard pressed to find an original.

7.5/10

Ignitor - Road Of Bones (2006)

When I saw the album cover I thought these guys were from the '80s, or early '90s. I've read several reviews which state that Ignitor come across musically as a mix of chugging Anthrax and Overkill, and in some cases I'd agree, but when the vocals of Erika kick in this is clearly a different metal machine. 'Scarlet Enigma' is a moshing monster but there's an air of mysticism about Ignitor in the classic metal sense. Tales of forgotten lands and magical languages, strange creatures and fiery corners. 'Demon Slayer' is a demon of a track and the crystal clear energy of it all reminds me of Nevermore, especially as the band thrash out a handful of the songs. Sadly, Erika would only last this record - some saying that her vocal style did not suit the metal world, but I disagree. The leather clad maiden more than a match for some of the metal guys out there and great to hear '80s style metal wrenched into the modern ans given a few twists to make it all fit.

7.5/10

Agony Column - Brave Words & Bloody Knuckles (1990)

Welcome again to the hellbilly cult we call Agony Column, a brutal, warped mixture of so many other bands yet still creating its own hole to reside in. A truly unhinged combo of craziness, the beautifully named Bat Lord, Crow, Redwing Viper and Devil Chicken, somehow reaching a peculiar level of seriousness on this record as they belch out a full metal wallop of a record that nods to everything and nothing else. Somehow the title track buzzes like insane Trouble perched on a Slayer riff like some predatory vulture waiting to strip the flesh from your gnarled bones. 'Crime & Punishment' has a dark thrashing riff and insane vocal sneer whilst White Zombie are left squirming in the oily backwoods wake of 'No Time To Kill'. 'Brave Words...' is an orgy of the damned, a procession of the whacked out and zany but still the band manage to have an accessible appeal, but it never lasts, the listener unsure whether to attempt to last the pace or run and hide behind the garbage cans. Agony Column aren't startlingly original, they just have a knack for the weird and wonderful, and the uncanny ability to inject themselves into the soul like some lethal drug that makes you feel oh so good. White Zombie attempted to put the 'Texas Chainsaw massacre' onto record but they failed due to repetition. Agony Column somehow infect the bloodstream like a video nasty, dragging you in on those maniacal riffs before chewing you up and spitting you out for the dogs.

Half a decade later the band would record their strangest venture yet, but alongside their debut 'God, Guns & Guts', 'Brave Words...' is a formidable record without category and yet one which reminds me of a classic thrash record recorded by the cast of 'Deliverance'. Dangerous and bruising.

8/10

Catt Butt - Journey To The Centre Of... (1989)

Drenched in fuzz, swamped in down tuned psychedelia, muddy, psych-a-go-go and scuzzy - welcome to another Sub-Pop offering so step into the hazy wilderness and experience a time before the annoyance of grunge - a time when what we went on to call grunge was in fact a dirty brand of rock 'n' roll that crawled from Seattle's back streets. Catt Butt were one of many half cool bands that leapt from the circus bound train and for a brief moment drifted into the metal scene with their woolly jumpers and silly hats. The student crud could be smelled a mile off but those guitars were rich in muck, the vocals as equally swampy, the haywire melodies of 'Maximo' and 'Zombie' bleeding from the speakers with no real pace except to leave a trail of straw on the floor. Blood Circus, Swallow, Catt Butt - for a short time were on a par with Nirvana. I personally thought all these bands were much better.

6/10

Krank - Hideous (1986)

Hard to knock a band who play such wild, flailing metal. Krank, a great name - if no other metal bands existed! - weave together Accept style rumblings with the fiery leather of Priest, all raging, full fisting fury, riding on waves of volcanic guitars, crashing drums and hellish vocals. 'Head Like A Rock', 'No More Lies', 'Rented Heat', pumping with that same masculinity that dosed up Raven and countless other studded bastards. Pure metal in other words, and whilst a tad predictable the fury alone will keep even the most weary metalheads up all night...and maybe even begging for more. The sort of record that makes you sweat just by glaring at the cover.

7/10

Steeler - Undercover Animals 91988)

For some stupid reason, one of my fave metal album covers ever - introduced to this platter via the pages of Metal hammer magazine. Steeler have been around for years, originally starting off as a relatively hot band which of course became watered down as the years rolled by. The late '80s seemed to treat most metal bands with the same paint brush, 'Deeper In The Night' typically sultry, Steeler suddenly becoming the archetype '80s metal band, denim, leather, and video's showing the band being whipped up by smokin' winds and neon lights. 'Knock Me Out' and 'Bad To The Bone' rarely live up to their titles, almost every track on offer a mid-paced, middle of the road power metal anthem lacking any real depth of velocity, but even so, 'Undercover Animal' had me under its spell, and once I was drawn in by the cover I was naive enough to fall for the pleasant metal-by-numbers facade that awaited me around the not so dark corners.

7/10

Metal Priest - Bursting Out (The Beast Became Human) 1986)

Strangely awkward title for an awkward sound band - these German rockers boast wretched vocals that seem a weird, lesser mix of Halford and a tortured Lemmy. A few scorching tracks on offer however which raise an eyebrow, the title track and 'Pyromania' being my personal favourites whilst the slow build of 'Out For Love' struts like AC/DC but the drums pack the punch of a wet sock. Somewhat peculiar in its obscurity and wrapped in a peculiar sleeve, Metal Priest attack like a de-clawed dog that has lost its teeth and yet its appearance still causes concern...where on earth do these bands come from!

6/10

Heretic - Torture Knows No Boundary (1986)

Another crusty EP makes its way on to the stereo, wrenching itself from a remote basement of doom. Very much trapped in an '80s bubble this type of prehistoric metal has become very nostalgic as metalheads around the world search for trips back into memory lane - although it's unlikely that the seething long haired hordes would have experienced such a neolithic creak! The plodding Jack The Ripper-inspired 'Whitechapel' and slightly more fiery 'Portrait Of...' make for an entertaining listen, hell, the occasional buzzsaw riff and rasped vocal even reminds me remotely of old Exodus, but it's so fleeting, and only remains hypnotic in the sense one would be grappling their way through dense fog!

5.5/10

San Antonio Slayer - Go For The Throat (1984)

Just because these guys have the word Slayer in their moniker doesn't mean they churn out similar evil to the thrash kings - mind you, this is still pretty much hyper thrash from the '80s and they did co-exist alongside Slayer back in the day. Sadly, fragile vocals are on show here, although 'The Witch Must Burn' shows the band attempting some type of melody before launching into a skull-ripping attack. Trouble is, most of this sort of stuff was recorded in a dank cellar, and with those amateur vocals and scuzzy guitars you can hear why SAS would've made a great, albeit brief cult act but nothing more. The childish yelps which override 'Hell Will Be Thy Name' prove to be the album's major downfall and once the needle pops off the record, even when you're head hits the pillow you'll never escape those nasty screeches. After one or two listens of 'Go For The Throat' you'll be left with a crud-lined needle! Extra 1/2 mark added for the seemingly sinister cover!

5.5/10

Razormaid - First Cutt (1987)

Cool cover cool record - stompin' '80s metal boasting staggering solo's and swaggering grooves. This escapes the basement which confined so many obscure '80s metal acts, and instead of being stuffy as one would expect it's quite grandiose, awash with Coverdale-esque sultry vocals and lots of lyrics about the night and the streets! However, this isn't some dodgy pastiche of better bands, I sense some intelligence behind its construction, nearly every track rates from very steady to very good, the band knowing how to craft a strong metal machine. 'Victim Of The Night' isn't just formulaic but instead comes across as a powerhouse of a track. I like this sort of stuff - metal that stands on its own two feet even without success. Good on Razormaid for havin' the balls to rock...

7/10

Black Ice - Hot 'n' Heavy (1986)

Nothin' smokin' about this EP from straight laced Californian metallers Black Ice, who like to surf the Dokken wave with elements of blues driven metal. Competent enough and deserves a whisper of a mention as it's pretty obscure and at times when the band chant "Heavy Metal Warriors" on the track, you guessed it, 'Heavy Metal Warriors', as a metal head teenager I would've probably fallen for it. Sincere no doubt but it was never going nowhere but it's always a buzz to dig this sort of thing out of the coffin.

5.5/10

Southgang - Tainted Angel (1991)

Bands like Southgang were not in the public eye long - grunge put pay to that. Whilst formulaic Southgang's 'Tainted Angel' boasted a meaty production and a handful of songs decent enough to wrench them from a million strong crowd of similar acts. Sure, it's all big hair and soaring ballads amidst the hip shaking rockier numbers, but when it works it works real well - the title cut a fine hard rock cut combining the more bolshy aspects of pristine Crue and beefier Warrant. It's a hot bed of gyrating acoustics and sultry electrics, especially on 'Aim For The...', a sweeping power ballad typical of the decade previous to Southgang's intervention. Not bad if you can look past the now seemingly dated image.

6/10

Creepmime - Shadows (1993)

There's something hypnotic about this complicated, down-tuned deathly cavern that calls itself Creepmime. Slots nicely alongside the intricate death metal brigade, a la Despair etc. It's all very bleak at times, doomy in fact as the abrasive guitars graze the face like a Brillo pad, and those hoarse, throaty vocals add extra chills, but deeper within the cess pit I'm hearing addictive echoes, in the same way I became so endeared to Darkthrone's 'Soulside Journey' with its windswept and barbed wire grooves. All slightly monotone and with hints of the cosmic, 'Shadows' is in fact a clever record that exists only as a half-hinted, almost extinct force that long ago slithered from under some rock and then vanished without a trace. All it left in its wake was a rusty residue. There's nothing spectacular about it but there's an awkward feel with those jarring guitars and frozen drums. Creepmime grate the soul then scuttle back into their creepy mine!

7/10

Crisis Party - Rude Awakening (1989)

During the late '80s Guns n' Roses spawned a thousand imitators - Crisis Party being one of those acts. Terry Date may be producer here but oh for the cheek of it - CP mimic G n' R in every aspect, right down to the Axl-esque vocal which, after the first track get so bloody annoying I'm wondering how on earth Metal Blade records gave them a deal. I understand how bands get caught up in trends and there are always record labels out there keen to cash in on a fad and I'm sure that some of these labels may well have been genuine in their attempts to find the next big thing, but at times this just takes the piss. Crisis Party lack sleaze appeal in every department, so it's no wonder they dissolved into nothing - not fit to lace Axl's boots and I'm sure if he'd left them out on his door step Crisis Party would have stolen them!

5/10

Morgoth - Resurrection Absurd (1989)

Amidst the waves of US death metal acts Morgoth came marching from the shadows like the spectral ring wraiths from a Tolkien fantasy - hell bent on proving that the dense, black smoke of death metal was not simply an American creation. Although owing a lot of its sound to the likes of Death, and even Possessed, Morgoth had the appeal to slot nicely alongside the Florida bands as well as carving their own niche for their atmosphere grind. This EP provides a handful of sturdy tracks which revel in their intensity and see Morgoth rise above the hordes to establish themselves as a class act. From the thick riffs of 'Travel' to the twisted chords of 'Afterthought', which rides on a clattering drum, 'Resurrection...' puts Germany on the map as a death metal force...cracking vocals from Grewe and cool cover to match the Gothic atmosphere.

7.5/10

Meldrum - Blowin' Up The Machine (2007)

Get this album any way you can - buy, steal, kill! The second album from Meldrum is proof that there's a female equivalent to Machine Head's 'Burn My Eyes' out there in metal land. This is one helluva furious slab of molten metal - one of the best metal albums in fact I've heard in the last ten years and certainly one of the best records to emerge this side of 2000. Meldrum combine melody and rage to great effect, mainly in the vocal prowess of Moa, a sultry demon who at once terrifies and intrigues, coupled with Meldrum's searing hot riffs this is how metal should exist and they should have been massive if you ask me. Meldrum's sad demise in 2009 robbed the metal world of a great talent but 'Blowin Up...' is a timeless reminder of what great musicians and talents lurk within a field that over the years has been dominated by far less talented hacks. The gargantuan nature of the riffs here is astounding, 'Bite The Pillow', and frothing opener 'Purge' are behemoth cuts, designed to hammer home a weight advantage yet somehow combining the sexual sweatiness of Brody Dalle, and Juliet Lewis. The doom sludge of 'Creme De La Creme' is staggering whilst the flexible 'Scar' sees the band move into a far more melodic state, maybe bringing to mind the jerking ska punk of Skunk Anansie. It's all filth and fury and with Moa gyrating at the front of the stage I see Meldrum as a truly magnificent metal weapon that blasts through walls and move from city to city like some wave of nuclear blitz.  At times devastating in its angst and weight, I'm not sure if to strip off, kneel and worship or run for cover as the human debris splats on the pavement around. Meldrum are monstrous and sexy as fuck too...

8.5/10

Meldrum - Loaded Mental Cannon (2002)

Hold on a minute, where the fuck did this bomb come from ? Meldrum is a mighty metal outfit consisting of a lethal sisterhood including founder member and stunning Michelle Meldrum who sadly passed away in 2009. Meldrum was once part of the bruising all female combo Phantom Blue but Meldrum takes up reins and boy you'd better be ready. This is orgasmic heavy metal straight from the volcano, taking no prisoners it equally grinds and exhales fire to match any record by say, Motorhead. This is one oily fuckin' record of amazing heaviness yet sultry sexiness, enabled of course by the fact that the trio of females present are absolutely stunning and if that's not enough then prepare to be slashed and thrashed by Meldrum's jaw dropping riffs and the dragon breath tones of Moa Holmsten. I haven't heard female fronted rock like this for a while, in fact it kicks like a metal mule, yet is able to present a variety of moods, the melodic 'Feeding The Hope' for example is classic metal but you can take your pick from a number of monsters here and you won't be disappointed. 'The Story Of Junk', 'Through Shattered Eyes' and 'Attackpa', featuring former Thin Lizzy guitar hero Brian Robertson. Don't let it put you off that Europe man John Norum pays a visit to - after all, he is Meldrum's husband. Metal suffered a great loss when Meldrum passed but what she's left behind is a furious legacy that deserves to be heard.

8/10

Malevolent Creation - Retribution (1992)

The second release from MC provides a wrecking ball to the house of metal and destroys it like it were a house of cards. MC took no prisoners, a battering ram of a death metal act who threw the thrills out with the garbage and decided to hit where it hurts the most - all over! Technically brilliant and truly monstrous, from the drum massacre of Alex Marquez to the sonic guitar attack of riff monster Rob Barrett, this takes all we know and love about death metal and simply screws it in the brain a little further. The brutally ominous 'Coronation....' and the Morbid Angel-esque slab of 'Slaugher Of... which comes with twisted riffs of total chaos. Malevolent destroy whether it's at a breakneck speed or a kid-tempo chug, 'Eve Of The Apocalypse' combining both, complete with piano intro and sadistic riff. Certainly one of death metal's finest acts who've existed through so many trends and yet continued to cast ominous shadows to remind the trendy folk that watching over them is a bewildering force. You can run but you can't hide.

8/10

Child's Play - Rat Race (1990)

Not sure if this is sleaze metal, it all seems a little too timid if you ask me, occasionally scratching at the back door like a leopard but when you peek through the cat flap it just turns out to be a moggy! 'Wind' may indeed get in your hair as a sultry candle burner whilst a blues injection seems vital for the band to make their record seem streetwise. Came at a time when metal was neither here nor there - Child's Play didn't really latch on to a scene and probably didn't have the ability or swagger to either. A handful of half-decent tracks, 'Day After Night' and the boozy 'Good Ol' Rocking Roll' might get the lads up for a jiggle but if bands like the mighty Love/Hate couldn't make an impact then Child's Play had no chance. Strange album covers almost suggest some lo-fi Brit indie record!

6.5/10

XYZ - XYZ (1989)

A slightly flaccid offering from a heavily influenced Dokken act who have the rather unfortunate name of XYZ - leaving them not only way down in the alphabet but also low down in the bargain bins probably. Well no, it's not all bad but this record lacks any sort of bite, drifting as an almost standard fare into the realms of mediocrity never to be heard again. Okay so the tracks often appear on You Tube but in today's age everything is on You Tube isn't it ? I think it's worth checking out any metal from the '80s even if this one passes by without effect - I'm hearing a hint of Scorpions in there too alongside the pomp of 'Maggy' and various other faceless cuts. All abit to simple - in fact as simple as A,B,C!

6/10

Brutality - Screams Of Anguish (1993)

After the Florida scene blew up in the late '80s and early '90s, death metal became a major force in propelling the heavy metal scene to new, murderous levels. Brutality were a fine technical death metal act who were rather underrated despite coughing up this bloody pile of sonic metal which at once had the ability to not only decapitate but also experiment. Chesty vocals accompanied by a mid-tempo pounding groove always works well within this scene but it's not long before the band up the anti with those trigger drums and crushing hyper riffs. 'These Walls Shall Be Your Grave' and 'Spawned Illusion' tear the flesh with ease, but like so many bands of this ilk Brutality, despite the severity of their name, drift effortlessly into cosmic voids too - 'Spirit World' is a haunting acoustic instrumental that would, no doubt, lead your listening grandmother astray before battering her senseless as another bout of aggression lurks around the corner.

Decent death metal indeed, now go and clear up grannies flesh from the carpet.

7/10

Circle Of Soul - Hands Of Faith (1991)

Circle Of Soul kinda emerged as the last embers of funk metal and alterno-metal had dissipated in metal's dying black sky. Thankfully, those who got to listen to COS would have found much to enjoy as the funk trend pretty much spiralled out of control and most of the bands disappeared up their own cartoon arses due to pulling too many silly faces. Circle Of Soul never resorted to the comedy side of things, but instead carved out an almost sultry style of soulful rock that combined the acoustics of '80s hair metal and the more sublime slink of Lenny Kravitz, Living Colour and to a lesser degree the Red Hot Chili Peppers. This was a relatively obscure record never fitting into any trend - not because its content defied musical categorisation - but simply because there was no real interest in this stuff anymore and so it slipped by the wayside. There's a subtle appeal to this record which comes to fruition in the half hinted freshness of a track like 'War' or the breezy hair metal crescendo of 'One Kiss'. Couple that with a Living Colour strut, of say 'Stone In My Shoe', and one finds themself endeared to COS while it lasted.

7/10

Vain - Enough Rope (2011)

Davy Vain was one of the coolest rock stars never to play stadiums. Vain's debut album 'No Respect' never got the praise it deserved and so what seems like aeon's later, Davy returns with another glam rock punch to the mid section. 'Enough Rope' doesn't need to nod to the late '80s and early '90s because that's where it originated from, a throbbing glam rock dynamic boosted by Jamie Scott's searing guitar work, coupled with Vain's sensual, sexual and sleazy vocal sneer. Effortless rock 'n' roll that proves how this stuff can still exist without being laboured or nostalgic. It's all about the attitude and Vain have it by the bucket load, carving out glittery grooves that lube up the tightest of holes for heavy metal insertion. Motley Crue, Hanoi Rocks, The Cult, it's all here, that pure swaggering feel that some bands are just born with - from the lipstick oomph of 'Cindy' and the sweltering 'Hot Stage Lights', evoking images of strip clubs but also a more intelligent structure. Vain were more than just image, but let's hope that this time they keep the fire burning and carve a career out of those razor sharp anthems. Ratt weren't half as good and yet Vain for some reason always remained in the shadow of weaker acts....but this is their time. Hopefully.

8/10

Reckless Love - Animal Attraction (2011)

Since the dawning of Steel Panther - a band which I never thought I'd appreciate but do in droves - there seems to be a few acts trying their hand at a cheesy style pomp rock. Some of the bands are doing it for a joke - all well and good but many aren't as musically adequate as SP - and are falling flat on their faces - whilst some of the bands are doing it straight, Reckless Love could be perceived as one of those acts. The trouble is, such a lightweight journey leaves me begging for Steel Panther's...er...steely growl, because Reckless Love have leapt on the Def Leppard bandwagon and are refusing to get off. 'Animal...' is their second opus and it reeks of Leppard, circa 'Hysteria' etc. It borrows so heavily, and also likes to steal one or two Van Halen grooves too, that it becomes a puffy mess of powdery pomp. Vocally it's just the Lepp's Joe Elliot swooning over a collection of fragile mid tempo plodders, from the synth driven 'Hot', the dreamy 'Fantasy' and 'Dirty Dreams' which sounds as though it's stolen various '80s rock ideas. Steel Panther may be crude but they still know how to rock, and if I wanted music like this then I'd simply go and put a Def Leppard record one. Why oh why do bands mimic so heavily ? I guess this sort of stuff doesn't deserve to be on this blog - and alongside so many formulaic and yet allegedly current 'thrash' bands, I'm finding all this 'paying homage to the '80s' metal rather vomit inducing.

4/10